Torturing

Oh lookey, this part of the forum seems to be neglected. lol

Anyways, hello all!

I believe to have gotten a memory of a torture. The object of said torture was a man who appeared to be tied to a chair and wearing clothing that appeared to be made of burlap, it probably wasn't, but his clothes were quite raggéd (Shakespearian word emphasizing. Oh my!) so you get the point.

Here's where I wish I could be disgusted with myself...

Here I come walking into the room (by the way it appeared to be made of stone. Floor, ceiling, walls, all of it) and I pick up a knife and I just run the blade slowly across this man's chest. I recall my face just being stone cold. Emotionless. But deep down there was a feeling of pleasure for what I had done... sickening. The memory ends there, but I'm sure the torture went on. I'm not sure that I can recall what exactly my reasons for torturing this man were, I don't know if I want to.  

The world works in mysterious ways it seems. Incarnate the wicked into those who strive to do only good. Alas, one still has demons to overcome dwelling deep within myself. My goodness exceeds, but it also makes me more susceptible to the darkness. Such as we all are. Perhaps it is a chance at redemption for my sins.

This memory is quite disturbing. After receiving it, I could feel the good feeling that inflicting harm on others had on me in the memory. Not necessarily the paragon I had hoped to be.

*End of deep conversation*

Sorry for that philosophical poetry segment there, my vocabulary needs to be set free every once in a while.

Sooooo... opinions? Thoughts? Memory that coincides with this memory? I'd like to hear it!

I believe that part of the purpose for existence is for the Source/Universe/God(dess)/etc to experience itself in every way possible. That includes torturing and being tortured.

I have an odd memory that involves torture and rape. I say odd because one of my friends and I remember the exact same thing, from the exact same viewpoint. We're not entirely sure what to make of it, whether I actually was one of these people or if I'm just somehow able to see it. The only difference is that I can switch to the perspectives of some of the other people involved as well, she can't. So, through reliving this memory I can feel what it's like to be tied up and raped. And I can also feel what it's like to do that to someone, and in this case, there was an addictive sense of power, domination, exhileration, perhaps even a twisted sense of pleasure. So, you're not alone anyway.

In my life as an angel I did some terrible things to my brothers and sisters, or at the least allowed them to happen. I am certainly not proud of that.

I was also a nazi. I don't remember what my role was.

Anyway, you are not the only one who has done bad things in the past. But just because you did something in another life does not mean that is who you are now.

Ari'el wrote:

I believe that part of the purpose for existence is for the Source/Universe/God(dess)/etc to experience itself in every way possible. That includes torturing and being tortured.

I have an odd memory that involves torture and rape. I say odd because one of my friends and I remember the exact same thing, from the exact same viewpoint. We're not entirely sure what to make of it, whether I actually was one of these people or if I'm just somehow able to see it. The only difference is that I can switch to the perspectives of some of the other people involved as well, she can't. So, through reliving this memory I can feel what it's like to be tied up and raped. And I can also feel what it's like to do that to someone, and in this case, there was an addictive sense of power, domination, exhileration, perhaps even a twisted sense of pleasure. So, you're not alone anyway.

In my life as an angel I did some terrible things to my brothers and sisters, or at the least allowed them to happen.  I am certainly not proud of that.

I was also a nazi. I don't remember what my role was.

Anyway, you are not the only one who has done bad things in the past. But just because you did something in another life does not mean that is who you are now.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I agree with what you say that things are different now. Most of my memories are not pleasant ones, I hope that when I get more of them that I don't become more like who I was before. That wouldn't be good.  

I know my destiny is to be a hero, or a warrior, or something in between (I've had a strong sense of purpose pointing me in that direction since as far back as I remember). Perhaps coming to terms with the past, and finding forgiveness from the ones I've wronged is a way of preparing me for whatever the future may hold. I dunno. I guess we'll see.   

In my experience, it is the lives that were traumatic or messed up in some way that rise to the surface of my memory the easiest. I know I've had peaceful and happy lives, but those are harder to remember. I think this is because the traumatic lives are things we need to work through, heal, and forgive (whether it be forgiving ourselves or others). I think part of us may remain stuck in these past lives in a way until they are properly worked through. This then releases us from being stuck and held back, and allows us to move forward and grow, and to accomplish our purpose.

Ari'el wrote:

In my experience, it is the lives that were traumatic or messed up in some way that rise to the surface of my memory the easiest. I know I've had peaceful and happy lives, but those are harder to remember. I think this is because the traumatic lives are things we need to work through, heal, and forgive (whether it be forgiving ourselves or others). I think part of us may remain stuck in these past lives in a way until they are properly worked through. This then releases us from being stuck and held back, and allows us to move forward and grow, and to accomplish our purpose.

I agree entirely.   

Damn, with the amount of memories I have so far, I think I've got enough of a base to start finding my name. (I may have a hunch already, but we'll see)

Yeah? That's exciting. I'd be interested to hear about your memories and what you think your name might be.