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 I want to kill myself ....

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Becca

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PostSubject: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:53 am

Just writing this makes me want to cry, i feel that nobody cares and that i have no friends...im so close to overdosing once more or cutting into my veins with scissors....i just dont care anymore, i want to end my own life....i have no future at all, i cant get anymore thinner than what i got because im a failure and pathetic. I want to end my life, im planning to do it after Christmas.... :'(

I want to be happy but i cant...not until what i need to do is done....
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FeirceDeity64

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:48 pm

Becca wrote:
Just writing this makes me want to cry, i feel that nobody cares and that i have no friends...im so close to overdosing once more or cutting into my veins with scissors....i just dont care anymore, i want to end my own life....i have no future at all, i cant get anymore thinner than what i got because im a failure and pathetic. I want to end my life, im planning to do it after Christmas.... :'(

I want to be happy but i cant...not until what i need to do is done....

......

No. I'm sure whatever it is that your sad about can be overcome. You need to talk to a family member, or a friend (you have to have at least one), or a trusted adult for help. I know that what your feeling right now sucks ass and you just want it over. But you can't. You've got so much to live for, and this is only going to be a minuscule part of your life when you're older.

Suicide is never the answer, it's a cheap way of quitting. If there's anything I've learned in this life, it's that even when things look tough and impossible to overcome, if you keep trying harder and harder you can reach your goal. This has been proven in my life many times as I'm sure it can be proven in yours.


- o -
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FeirceDeity64

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:48 pm

Becca wrote:
Just writing this makes me want to cry, i feel that nobody cares and that i have no friends...im so close to overdosing once more or cutting into my veins with scissors....i just dont care anymore, i want to end my own life....i have no future at all, i cant get anymore thinner than what i got because im a failure and pathetic. I want to end my life, im planning to do it after Christmas.... :'(

I want to be happy but i cant...not until what i need to do is done....

......

No. I'm sure whatever it is that your sad about can be overcome. You need to talk to a family member, or a friend (you have to have at least one), or a trusted adult for help. I know that what your feeling right now sucks ass and you just want it over. But you can't. You've got so much to live for, and this is only going to be a minuscule part of your life when you're older.

Suicide is never the answer, it's a cheap way of quitting. If there's anything I've learned in this life, it's that even when things look tough and impossible to overcome, if you keep trying harder and harder you can reach your goal. This has been proven in my life many times as I'm sure it can be proven in yours.


- o -
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Becca

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:01 pm

FeirceDeity64 wrote:
Becca wrote:
Just writing this makes me want to cry, i feel that nobody cares and that i have no friends...im so close to overdosing once more or cutting into my veins with scissors....i just dont care anymore, i want to end my own life....i have no future at all, i cant get anymore thinner than what i got because im a failure and pathetic. I want to end my life, im planning to do it after Christmas.... :'(

I want to be happy but i cant...not until what i need to do is done....

......

No. I'm sure whatever it is that your sad about can be overcome. You need to talk to a family member, or a friend (you have to have at least one), or a trusted adult for help. I know that what your feeling right now sucks ass and you just want it over. But you can't. You've got so much to live for, and this is only going to be a minuscule part of your life when you're older.

Suicide is never the answer, it's a cheap way of quitting. If there's anything I've learned in this life, it's that even when things look tough and impossible to overcome, if you keep trying harder and harder you can reach your goal. This has been proven in my life many times as I'm sure it can be proven in yours.


- o -

I wish i could overcome it....i just want to die, why cant i just die and go away so everyone can be happy without me ? :'(
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Ashtart

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:32 pm

*hugs Becca* Sweetie, I know everything looks bleak and terrible but focus on the light. What Feirce says is true - this is only a very small part of your life. Let the darkness wash over you - journal, sing, scream, go for a run. Get your emotions out somehow. And talk to people, even people that you think do no really care. They probably care a lot. Your friends might even be going through the same things. Lean on each other. And if you're able to, find a counselor who can help you to work through your feelings. We're here for you - whatever is on your chest, let it out here. Just know that you're never alone.

Ash
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Becca

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:53 pm

Ashtart wrote:
*hugs Becca* Sweetie, I know everything looks bleak and terrible but focus on the light.  What Feirce says is true - this is only a very small part of your life.  Let the darkness wash over you - journal, sing, scream, go for a run.  Get your emotions out somehow.  And talk to people, even people that you think do no really care.  They probably care a lot.  Your friends might even be going through the same things.  Lean on each other.  And if you're able to, find a counselor who can help you to work through your feelings.  We're here for you - whatever is on your chest, let it out here.  Just know that you're never alone.

Ash

*Hugs back* Thanks ....ive spoken to a councillor before even been admitted to hospital but they said that i would grow out of it and they just left me ....
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Ashtart

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Wed Dec 25, 2013 7:06 pm

Sad I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Please keep looking, though. There are good ones out there.
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Becca

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Wed Dec 25, 2013 7:57 pm

Thanks (: im not feeling that bad today, im starting to astral travel with meditation waterfall sounds on while i do it. Maybe thats what made me calmer today.
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Ashtart

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:42 am

Thanks for keeping us updated. I love online meditations. They're very centering when it seems as if the whole world can't be bothered to slow down for a moment. What's your favorite waterfall meditation that you've found? Perhaps someone here can benefit from that Smile Glad to hear that you're feeling better, Becca.
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Ishtahar
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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:56 pm

My son is twelve years old and he decided in June he couldn't cope with life any longer and planned to kill himself. Fortunately, he told someone on an online forum what he planned and they contacted the police. Whilst it was the worst moment of my life to have the police call me at work and tell me my son was planning to die, I am so, so glad it happened.

It's been a hell of a long year, and we've had to work through a lot. I can't honestly say everything's perfectly fine and he still has bad days, but we are working through it and he is feeling a lot better. Looking back, he can say he's glad he didn't go through with it because of all the great times that happened since.

First - you are not a failure because you can't lose more weight. Thank whatever Gods you believe in that somewhere in your head you have a guardian angel who is stopping you getting too thin. If you become anorexic, not only will you look disgusting but you will irreperably damage your health and will suffer with organ damage, vision problems, nerve damage and all kinds of horrible things, not to mention that your immune system will nose dive. Untreated, anorexia and bulemia are nothing more than slow methods of suicide. Don't start sliding down that slope.

Second, the key to changing your life is changing yourself. No one hates you. No one is talking about you behind your back. No one is deliberately excluding you from things because you're a horrible person and don't deserve it.

If you don't have friends, and aren't being invited to the best parties and having the sexy boys fall at your feet, it's because of one things and one thing only - you don't believe you deserve it.

No one is going to want to hang around with someone who hates themselves. Who wants a little dark cloud hanging over your dinner table/party. No one wants to be with someone they have to work hard to get through to or to get on with.

This might sound ridiculous but you being good company, being a good friend, and being popular can be learned. To be a good conversationalist, you need to research hot topics so you can make intelligent comments, and enter into conversations. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but you can practice holding conversations with yourself, in the mirror. Body language, tone moderation, making your voice sexy and your face look confident. Practice making eye contact and smiling.

You're a very beautiful girl, Becca, and the only person who's stopping everyone else from seeing that, is you.

At the times when you're feeling your lowest, when death seems the only way out, when it doesn't seem as if things will ever change or get better... think of someone you admire, someone who overcame massive odds to achieve something great - Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela. None of them was born a hero. None of them could have found it easy to do what they did. I'm absolutely sure they all knew what dispair feels like, what it's like to be in a deep dark hole with no way out. The difference is they made their own way out. They clawed their way out, inch by inch, until they were right there in the sunshine.

If there is anything, anything at all I can do to help you, I will.

Ish

As for dying. Death is never the end, only the beginning of another turn of the spiral, and you won't get off it until you find your way out of that hole.
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Becca

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PostSubject: Re: I want to kill myself ....   Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:15 pm

Ishtahar wrote:
My son is twelve years old and he decided in June he couldn't cope with life any longer and planned to kill himself. Fortunately, he told someone on an online forum what he planned and they contacted the police. Whilst it was the worst moment of my life to have the police call me at work and tell me my son was planning to die, I am so, so glad it happened.

It's been a hell of a long year, and we've had to work through a lot. I can't honestly say everything's perfectly fine and he still has bad days, but we are working through it and he is feeling a lot better. Looking back, he can say he's glad he didn't go through with it because of all the great times that happened since.

First - you are not a failure because you can't lose more weight. Thank whatever Gods you believe in that somewhere in your head you have a guardian angel who is stopping you getting too thin. If you become anorexic, not only will you look disgusting but you will irreperably damage your health and will suffer with organ damage, vision problems, nerve damage and all kinds of horrible things, not to mention that your immune system will nose dive. Untreated, anorexia and bulemia are nothing more than slow methods of suicide. Don't start sliding down that slope.

Second, the key to changing your life is changing yourself. No one hates  you. No one is talking about you behind your back. No one is deliberately excluding you from things because you're a horrible person and don't deserve it.

If you don't have friends, and aren't being invited to the best parties and having the sexy boys fall at your feet, it's because of one things and one thing only - you don't believe you deserve it.

No one is going to want to hang around with someone who hates themselves. Who wants a little dark cloud hanging over your dinner table/party. No one wants to be with someone they have to work hard to get through to or to get on with.

This might sound ridiculous but you being good company, being a good friend, and being popular can be learned. To be a good conversationalist, you need to research hot topics so you can make intelligent comments, and enter into conversations. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but you can practice holding conversations with yourself, in the mirror. Body language, tone moderation, making your voice sexy and your face look confident. Practice making eye contact and smiling.

You're a very beautiful girl, Becca, and the only person who's stopping everyone else from seeing that, is you.

At the times when you're feeling your lowest, when death seems the only way out, when it doesn't seem as if things will ever change or get better... think of someone you admire, someone who overcame massive odds to achieve something great - Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela. None of them was born a hero. None of them could have found it easy to do what they did. I'm absolutely sure they all knew what dispair feels like, what it's like to be in a deep dark hole with no way out. The difference is they made their own way out. They clawed their way out, inch by inch, until they were right there in the sunshine.

If there is anything, anything at all I can do to help you, I will.

Ish

As for dying. Death is never the end, only the beginning of another turn of the spiral, and you won't get off it until you find your way out of that hole.

Thanks, honestly that made me cry haha. I am feeling a lot better now though, just not in food wise. Ive been told that i have an anorexic mind and sometimes i behave like one but i cant control it to be honest. Its sad....
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