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 ARCHIVE: Hi there, my intro

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Posts : 354
Join date : 2010-02-05

PostSubject: ARCHIVE: Hi there, my intro   Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:42 am

By Angelyn Jan 9 2009 -

Hello, I'm Angelyn. I hail from the Lake Tahoe area, but now reside in the valley of the sun aka Phoenix, Az. I'm part Fae, of one of the darker varieties I believe, I'm not sure. Actually I'm not sure of much. And I believe I'm part celestial, a feeling that's been backed up by looking at old writings of mine and others observations. Yes, I know no one can tell you what you are, but as I said that was merely one of the reasons that led me to this conclusion, I already had the feelings of being "fallen". I'm a Pagan Witch in this lifetime and while I love people I have a general disdain for humanity. I'll leave my intro off with a poem I wrote when I was around 15 (I'm 28 now by the way).

Fallen

Look in her eyes, say what you see
spare her the lies, give her the key
the key that could open what's locked deep inside
and steal from her,her reasons to hide

the tears of blood that stain her vision
drive her to finally make her decision
before the shadows she kneels in fear
and opens her eyes to discover a mirror.

a mirror that reflects the darkness within
one that will lead her deep into sin.
clasped in her hand she holds a knife
poised and ready to take her life.
be it good or evil, dark or light,
she'll now embrace unending night.

shadows of death, blood stained walls
tumbling from heaven another angel falls


By Riley Jan 10 2009 -

Welcome ^^ I love the poem. I know absolutely no Fae's, and I'm always happy to meet one. Enjoy your stay, I hope to get to know you ^^


By Seraphyna Jan 10 2009 -

You're really getting around aren't ya tongue.gif Welcome.


By Angelyn Jan 10 2009 -

Lol, yes I am. I think I applied to a few of the legitimate looking ones and a few I was referred to by a friend, Crystalis.


By Azaz'el Jan 10 2009 -

Greetings Angelyn and welcome to the forum!

It's always a pleasure when we get a new member, so I hope you enjoy your time here with us in our online home. As you can see by now, this forum is a safe place for all to return to, where past events and actions are placed to one side and all can relax, share and hopefully learn. All we ask of all members is that all views are respected, even if we don't agree with it!!!

It is even more interesting meeting a part Fae part Celestial, as this is something that fits with recent revelations that were offered to me, and I knew that sooner or later the Fae would start to be drawn here. I will eventually get to explain this to you all..... I know I keep promising, but it is coming.

I think your poem is wonderful, I only wish I could have written something so strong when I was that age. Still, I hope I can make up for that these days.

Feel free to jump in and join in any of the current threads or make new ones. And anything you would like to share to help us all understand our shared past would be great.

I hope you will feel welcome here.

Azaz'el


By Angelyn Jan 11 2009 -

I'm not too sure what I can add to shared memories as I don't seem to remember much my self, I added what little I can remember to the memories section, but I have no idea if those particular memories are related. I do feel very welcomed here and thank you all for that.


By Angelyn Jan 18 2009 -

A little more about me

Greetings, I'm Angelyn. That's not my birth name in this life, but rather an older name that resounds with me more. So basically here's how it all started (with me anyways). I went through a partial awakening as a teenager, but I believe extreme trauma I was experiencing at the time pushed most of it back, kind of like my Psyche went "this girl can't take this right now, let's give her a little and leave it for another day". So it came through in my writing and dreams, but very fragmented. I always knew that while my body may be very much human at this time, my soul was something else entirely. I knew I was a creature of duality, of light and dark, but for the most part pushed them off as delusions and dissociative phases. So many choactic years went by when I would write and dream and wonder what was wrong with me. Then a few things happened close together. I was finally in a stable place in life, and within a week Crystalis, whom I was living with at the time, began to awaken more fully acting as a beacon for me and I had a Psychic tell me I was Fae. More things began piecing together and I was able to access a very few memories, which are in my blog if you care to read. I believe that if I am Fae it's of a darker nature. My mother was the High Priestess and guardian of the "essence" which I'm still not sure what that is, a quicksilver like substance, anyway she was/is a celestial being of some type . My father was the ruler of a "dark city" Merrida/Merridan something along those lines. I believe that's where the Fae comes into it. I don't want to go into a novel here, so feel free to contact me for more information. Especially if you know of any way to break down another binds upon you. I screwed up way back, at least in their eyes by upsetting the balance and falling in love with a being not of the temples approval. In fact they banished me from wherever I was. I tried to avoid the banishment by taking my life, but I underestimated their power. I was still banished to this world.


By Azaz'el Jan 21 2009 -

I feel I want to jump in here with the old, if not strange, saying of "Ah, that old chestnut!"

If that makes no sense let me add to it!! As you will know from the website and the threads/posts here in the forum, the whole history of the Shadow, Grigori and subsequent Fallen has a very similar theme running through it. We, the Grigori, fell for Humans and loved and honoured and tried to ascend them. Fir that we were punished, cast out and murdered by our own brothers. That still stings somewhat, but of course we have now come full circle, are awakening and have to heal the rift and unite with the Shadow and all Kin.

The reason I say it doesn't surprise me that the Fae are slowly awakening and being drawn back is that it seems that there were 4 main races that needed to unite and become as one in order to reach ascention and protect the Universe. The Shadow (Grogori/angel etc etc) is one........... the Fae are another. It is also tied into why or even how we are being reborn in human form right now.

The cylce is turning. I am trying to write all of this down and make it make sense so that I can share it. But it's pretty heavy and as with all areas of my entire life's journey, some may not like to hear what I have to say.

Az


By Angelyn Jan 24 2009 -

I've found that most don't care for the truth, or at least they don't seem to. It's discouraging to say the least. I'm fascinated by them, but I've seen too much of their cruelty in this young life alone. I have seen enough kindness though, to have hope for them.


By Ishtahar Jan 24 2009 -

It is hard to love humanity, even to like them... sometimes even to tolerate them... but in the end I believe that there is enough gold amongst the dross to make it worthwhile and i believe that a lot of the darkness that has crept into their souls flows from the rift that was caused by the fall and can be lightened when the rift is healed.

As a human myself I feel that I may be treading on shaky ground when I say thing but I do think that Shadow have some responsibility for what we have become. We didn't ask to fall in love with you, to be taught by you, loved by you. You were the one who knew what your brothers were capable of, what the consequences were. And then it was al taken away before the learning was complete.

You put fire into the hands of a child and walked away before you taught it how not to get burned. It was not your fault but it was your responsibility.

For that I think we..... all of us involved in that cycle and those connected which have gone since do owe humanity a chance, we have to at least try to save them... now all we have to do is figure out how.


By Angelyn Jan 24 2009 -

You make a very solid point. I'm beginning to wonder if I wasn't sent here as punishment like I had believed, but to learn about humanity for I payed them no heed. I pretty much ignored their existence until I was sent here. I didn't realize it when I typed up the memories I had regained, but when I just found the original piece of paper I had written at the end the last thing my Mother said to me was "You must learn". She couldn't have been talking about me following my heart for I believe she was proud of me for that.


By Ishtahar Jan 24 2009 -

There is always a reason... the thing is finding out what that reason is, making sure it's the right one and then fulfilling it. The hard thing is that the reason is different for everyone so no one can tell you what it is you have to find it for yourself. And then when you find it... or at least believe you have you have to find a way to fulfill it, even when it seems impossibly.... big.... sigh. rolleyes.gif

Ish


By Lael Jan 24 2009 -

QUOTE (Ishtahar @ Jan 24 2009, 02:25 PM)

"For that I think we..... all of us involved in that cycle and those connected which have gone since do owe humanity a chance, we have to at least try to save them... now all we have to do is figure out how."

Let me start with a disclaimer in which I'll explain that I'm not trying to be contrary, however you can find me doing this a lot - food for thought, discussion fodder if you will...

How do you save someone (collective or otherwise) that doesn't want to be saved? What of free will then?

That one's been breaking my brain way longer than I care to remember.


By Angelyn Jan 24 2009 -

I say we save the ones who want to be saved and let the rest go the way of the dinosaurs. But that's just me.


By Ishtahar Jan 24 2009 -

I think that Angelyn is right. You can't save those who don't want to be saved. I think that all we can do is to hold out out hand and it is up to them if they take it. Now all we have to do is find the hand... if you see what I mean


By Angelyn Jan 25 2009 -

darn phantom appendages... I know what you mean though. But how can WE hold out that hand when so many of us (myself included) can't tell even their mates the truth. I was blessed to find one I've spent every life with in my best friend, a Psi Vamp, so at least I have her to confide in, but other then that, I've already been diagnosed with psychiatric conditions, it would be written off as a delusion like I did for so long.


By Ishtahar Jan 25 2009 -

You've got it.... the biggest problem of all.... who could we tell and even then who would listen.

It is hard to change the world when the world doesnt want to be changed, wont accept us for who we are... the ones who could save it, and even if they did they would then want to kill, suppress, drug, imprison or otherwise impede us.

No one said it was going to be easy .... sigh sad.gif


By Angelyn Jan 25 2009 -

I believe you yourself said nothing worth having/doing is easy. I just wish it wasn't this hard. Az and Ish, you guys seem to be more in tune with whats going on, is there a great danger approaching? I had a moment of lucidity in a dream last night, a small green Faery came to me and told me I was in great danger, but as it was going to explain it flickered out and I was back in dreamland.


By Lael Jan 25 2009 -

QUOTE (Angelyn @ Jan 24 2009, 07:04 PM)
"I say we save the ones who want to be saved and let the rest go the way of the dinosaurs. But that's just me."

Very true. But then, sometimes those who don't want to be saved are also those we love, those we want to save. It gets tricky in the details - it did for me in the past, multiple times. Or perhaps it's just me. smile.gif


By Angelyn Jan 27 2009 -

I think that's a problem most, if not all, of us have faced. I think sometimes we have to cut our losses.


By Ishtahar Jan 27 2009 -

It's all about the detail. The devil is in the detail or so they say wink.gif the problem is tht details have an annoying tendency of turning into something quite different over time


By Angelyn Jan 28 2009 -

I used to get lost in the details, so I try to look at the big picture. But I only have pieces of that, so it's back to details. Viscous circles...


By Shemyaza Jan 29 2009 -

Hi Angelyn,

I would be very interested in hearing more about the green Faery, if you wish to talk further on that, what feelings came with it?

I hope that you don't mind me asking.


By Ishtahar Jan 29 2009 -

Oops seem to have phased out that post Angelyn sorrry, thanks for bringing it back to the fore Shem.

I think a time of great change is coming... no I know it is. Change is unsettling and always brings danger, of a kind. I think that we all need to be alert and aware of what is going on around us. Be prepared but not afraid. We are more than able to cope with what the universe has to throw at us... we just need to remember and believe that and we will be fine,


By Angelyn Jan 29 2009 -

I felt worried, more for it them myself. It seemed familiar, but it had to change shape a couple times for my brain to sort what it was. At first it was like the 'ello worm in the movie Labyrinth, then it was a little green Faery, I don't know what sex. It seemed highly agitated, and in a hurry to make me understand, but all I got was the terrible danger part and it flickered out and I was back in a dream dream.


By Ouza Apr 6 2009 -

Well, my little angel, we meet again!

As far as Labyrinths the mind is by far the most complicated and green was and still is my most favorite color since I do have Hazel green eyes!

Most of the Fae Faith came originally from northeastern part of Atlantis before the Fall out with Lemuria when all had to finally go underground to avoid contamination, that's when the tales of the Dwarf race began (we're not just talking days but decades, here!)

Merrida was a center of worship often called the place of Merridan (A Place of Merriment and joy), so I can and may assume that your mother was in fact , who she said she was! The faith strictly forbade marriage of any of the priests or priestesses if at all or to anyone outside of the faith both male or female or of same sex marriage which was strictly forbidden ! But when mom saw you die as you did and just exactly for those reasons she knew that you would be bound to h'el, the hidden ones/angels or as Aza puts it the shadow!

A lot of that anger and pain has been carried down through those centuries of reincarnation until now where we are coming into a new millennium, so to speak!
We are to be totally responsible for ourselves in this upcoming choice that is to be made, whether that be good or bad is totally up to you! It has to be of our own free will, freely given with no strings attached. Never ever doubt your sanity, please, please, please. We here are all in love with you, unconditionally!

Listen closely to me my little angel and to those that are here, this is a safe harbor for your voyage to whatever next step we are to take, together. Either we all go or nobody goes, no one is to be left behind. Don't ever ever be Polly Anna but do have faith, not blind faith although sometimes that's the way we travel, like it or not!

And yes, we did meet once ---- many many moons ago!

Love always,

Ouza
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