How is everyone?

This possibly could have gone under "Dreams and Portents," but seemed more physical. I had the most bizarre night last night, after an unusual weekend.

I felt I had been overspending on non-essentials this week (I live on a very tight budget) but one of the guys in my head kept telling me it was fine, that I had extra money coming my way. Sure enough, I got a call Friday morning from the woman I rent from, saying she was gone for the weekend and wanted me to watch her cats. I wound up buying a ridiculous quantity of alcohol (for me; a bottle of sake per day, and three of those tiny liquor bottles) with some of the windfall. I wasn't in a partying mood: it felt like a preparative measure, as if I was buffering my body somehow, but I had no more idea for what than I'd known I would have the money to spend it on. I've been completely straight Sunday and today, but feel as if I'm tripping. I can even see mild visuals, especially in low light.

The thing I wanted to write about is, apparently Dani is a chiropractor as well as heart surgeon. I felt normal going to bed last night, and not particularly sleepy (it was significantly earlier than I typically manage, so I was going to get about 8 hours for once) then suddenly I was out. I saw him, clearer than ever before, grinning as if about to share a great joke. He sort of winked at me, then I was completely unconscious. I kept coming to (it felt more like that than waking up) and passing out again over the course of the night, and each time I felt something shift or pop. It wasn't normal kinks and such from sleep; these felt like significant adjustments, and I kept waking up in different positions than I remember being in. One time, I sat bolt upright, which never happens. At one point, he showed me an image that my back is now straight as a board, where I had a slight scoliosis before. There was also a huge pop in my right shoulder, which is the last one I remember, and that seemed to bring a happy laugh.

Today, my body feels all weird. Not bad, or uncomfortable, but not the way it was. Keeping good posture, with my head up and level, is suddenly immensely important to me (I'm sitting with a book on my head as I type this, because I always slouch at the computer). Overall, I feel very different, very no-nonsense and decisive, and it showed in how I interacted with people today, in ways I didn't really notice until I stopped to think about it. All good changes, but I'm a bit disoriented right now, where I still wasn't done being disoriented from that third eye thing of Myth's!

I just wanted to say this somewhere, so I wouldn't start disbelieving it.

How are all of you doing?

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How are all of you doing?

I can probably sum this up in one word............... tired.

It feels as if over the past 6 weeks or so, and its not stopped yet, that I am being drained of all my energy and my head is in a complete fog. Just so tired.

Az

Turmoil... Especially in my physical life - low paying job, boyfriend that I live with has been struggling to find a job (just got hired somewhere yesterday), if he hadn't we might have had to move back home as I can't afford his part of the rent and he is nearly out of money, I havelots of medical bills to pay, and so far no insurance will accept me due to pre-existing conditions... And if my boyfriend's new job doesn't work out, I don't know what will happen. I think that more or less sums it up..

Spiritually things have been more positive, though not any calmer - lots of revelations, interesting insights drawn through conversations with others, reconnections with certain entities that were and are very close to my heart, etc. Again, things are very much up in the air, and I have not come to any solid conclusions yet, but it's an interesting ride.

Scratch, I'm glad to hear about the good changes

Az, I hate that feeling, and I hope you feel better soon, or at the least are getting something positive out of it all. *hugs*

well, not much to report on my end, other than having dreams that i know are important yet can't remember. not very vivid, i guess.

well, i suppose there is one thing. a while back, i got a bit of a... well, spiritual pet, let's call it, from a friend, who said it was once a soul who was very important to me, more or less. now, this friend has a habit of knowing way more than he lets on; as they say, still waters run deep. but if that's the case, this guy's a freaking ocean underground.

back on topic, this spiritual pet, i've kept in a crystal for a while, encaged or encapsulated so to speak. it was only about a week or two ago that i got up the nerve to release it, i was too afraid of it/him running away. anyway, it kinda evolved or something two days ago. where it used to be this little blob flying around that reminded me of a ray or tadpole, now it kinda seems more... fierce. like suddenly-got-very-big-and-pointy-teeth kind of fierce. i've been much more on edge lately, as well. it seems liek everything around me is gearing up for something.

Raz

Razi'el wrote:

it seems liek everything around me is gearing up for something.

Me too. The human side of me is demanding her brown pants over it, so to speak.

However, my Other side, who is the me I've always wanted to be anyway, and fast overtaking the split, is getting very frisky, in a suddenly-big-with-pointy-teeth, "BRING IT!" sort of way. I'm not afraid anymore, though a lot I see now, since the blinders I've lived with all my life seem to have been removed, makes me sad. I'd be interested to hear more about your friend, as that develops.

Az, please be strong. Do you have any idea what's doing that?

Ellysium: here's hoping for the best!

as far as my friend goes, he's been more of a mentor to Lethias than myself, comparitively i've only just met him. he goes by the name of Doragon, and the only thing i know about him personally is that he's somewhere in Norway, and he apparently knows quite a bit about Lethias and myself. he's also mentioned once about working on an entirely different energy scale than most kin, close to being the only one. he says that something that seems like a D battery for him would be like chernobyl for us.

and as far as you go, Az, i've offerred many times before to let you borrow energy from me, as i usually have a surplus. if something is draining you, feel free to withdraw a little from my account, okay, and please don't make yourself sick, or let whatever's happening to you go on if you can help it

=\ ... it's really hard to say how I've been feeling, especially over the past week, into words. The way you put it "tripping on psychedelics" seems to come close. Kind of a feeling of being trapped in some boundary between Alice in Wonderland and reality... feeling mildly euphoric all the time which is unsettling for me because I don't like experiencing shifts in my perception without a concrete reason. In fact, I really dislike change in general when it comes to how I'm feeling or what I'm doing. If I'm asleep I want to stay asleep forever. If I'm awake, I want to stay awake.

I feel mildly like there's a bit of sunlight coming in from the side of my head all the time and as if I'm a little bit dizzy and uncoordinated but coordinated enough when I open my mouth to know that it's "all in my head." The weekend was kind of ridiculous. It feels like maybe a part of the reason I shut the spirit world out when I was little was because it really doesn't mesh with reality for me in a coherent way... it's hard to be here and there and suddenly I'm being asked to do that.

I had another revelatory experience, this one with a man I barely know, that I met at a festival last week, who told me all about the reasons that I'm here (in Hawaii) and why ... also unsettling. I'm kind of wishing that the world would stop spinning for long enough for me to look around and catch my bearings, figuratively speaking, but it doesn't, it keeps spinning faster and faster. I've been drifting from wakefulness to sleep and then back again - I'm not in school for the summer and not traditionally employed, and the lack of a strict routine is making me very... not here or there.

I have this strange kind of "focus/unfocus" recently... like I'll come on here ten times a day and then I'll read a fantasy or a book on extraterrestrials for 6 hours, forgetting to eat and barely remembering to go outside or interact with other people. I'm kind of wishing for something to ground me and get me out of this routine.

I know what you mean about the world spinning, and wishing for a moment to get some bearings. Last night was less intense, but similar, and my head was swimming in a way today that made me have to take a break and try to settle myself out during work. I'm not sure if I'd rather not have anywhere to be right now, or am glad for the obligations of employment. It's rough having to act normal for customers and coworkers, when I feel like I've had a bag of illicit substances, or mild stroke.

That's amazing about that man you met.

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It's rough having to act normal for customers and coworkers, when I feel like I've had a bag of illicit substances, or mild stroke.

True. A part of me feels like I just have to ride it out. When I try to focus on other things, I feel like I'm chided and told to get back to what I was doing. I'm sure there's a very important reason that at this time, when I happen to have few responsibilities and few people that will miss my presence about, that I'm having a complete spiritual meltdown lol.... in fact, now that i think about it... that's how it's often gone down for me.

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That's amazing about that man you met.

It was. Though also not amazing if you catch what i mean... completely predictable of the universe to present at this point in time. It was nice at first - he verified that my own feelings of coming to Hawaii to learn how to reconnect the people with the spirits of the Earth were needed, and that I needed to "get to work" and not keep my "gifts" (his word) a secret from people. He saw that I "see deeper than the surface" and talk to the spirits of trees and water for example. And it was very amazing that he knew all this about me. But then, he started talking about knowing me in a past life, and me being connected to the water somehow and sinking underwater "to return to my people"... and it was annoying in a way because he's so impressed by my energy that he wants to romantically be with me (not that I'm opposed to romantic interest from strangers so much as that I'm annoyed when my "glamour" seems to blind people), but also because some of what he said matched some of my own visions that I did for class, that I sort of thought were random shamanic imagery and didn't take really seriously at the time. He said that talking to him about all this blasted open all his chakras and that he needed to sit down and cry somewhere - between that and all the small children that stop what they're doing to stare at me when I go outside this week, I feel a bit like I need to try to stop being so ... goddamned......... "bright" all the time. lol

Anyway he's putting together some sort of "gathering of the star nations in New Mexico" that I can't afford to go to, but I'll pass the info to you guys if you want.

It would be interesting to hear more about the gathering of the star nations..... and needless to say that unless I am the lone winner of the UK national lottery, I certainly won't be able to afford to go. Unless, of course, there are members from the Shadow High Council here who wish for us all to attend and are willing to pay for a mass gathering of members ...................

..................no?...................


......... Hmmm, didn't think so!!

As for what's making me feel as I do, I have no idea other than the problems we all face on a day to day basis. Thanks for the offer of energy Raz, but I fear that if I began to take some energy from you, there might only be a dry shell left after I finished!!! I feel as if I could feed from the national grid and still not get enough.......... maybe a small star would feed me enogh energy to get up and begin working again. It is very odd, but all I can do is keep looking for that answer and hope to figure it out soon enough. Thanks for all the kind words and hugs, I could certainly do with plenty of hugs these days!!

Az

As they put it on MySpace:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{AZ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Dearest all,

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns

Sorry for the run-ons.... but at my age I'm lucky to even remember my name let alone get my hands to move or even to just to be in the right mood without being moody !

Ouza

[As you can see, I'm so bright that I have to use others thoughts to even shine brighter!
Never lose your luster. just continue desiring and having the will for those things to change in your life for the better that much my dears is the in fact the truth!] When you have a lot of lemons you make lemonade....

Here's the information... the gentleman himself is the one who had a dream - Reynolds K. and the event is titled "a gathering of star nations" meaning American Indian nations primarily, but also anyone that feels the call to gather at the US Four Corners: http://www.comewalkinbeauty.com/SpecialEvents.html . Their videos: Reynolds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va6KceAKGLw Chief Golden Light Eagle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xhml9sR0os . I would absolutely go if I could afford it... I should have decided to focus only on money earlier on o_o. Maybe I can write to Oprah to sponsor us. LOL.

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Unless, of course, there are members from the Shadow High Council here who wish for us all to attend and are willing to pay for a mass gathering of members ...................

HA! wouldn't that be nice though.... and in the meantime they could explain a few things =) Ahhh, yeah.


Az, at the risk of speaking too soon *and knocking on wood* you'll probably feel better soon. You're probably so tired because you're nearing the mountain's peak, like that guy, what's his name, who had to push boulders up the sides of mountains all the time. Except you will actually get to relax for a while this time once you're done fighting uphill. *hugs* My thoughts are with you too! Don't let the boulder get you down!!!!!!!!

And Ellysium, my thoughts are with you too... financial worries stink majorly...

And everyone my thoughts are with you too!!!!! *squishes the forum*

Dearest Dream'sEnd,

Is it my imagination but you are most definitely beautiful radiant and shining!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

Ouza

Thanks Ouza =) That speech has been on my mind a lot recently.... I guess it's just "my time to shine" hahaha I'd like to imagine that doing so is mostly helpful and not harmful to the people around me. *takes a deep breath* I guess I just need to have faith in myself. Whether I help or hurt it'll work out the way it's meant to. ......I hope LOL

*hugs*

Dream'sEnd

I see you....

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882)

“If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.”

Ouza

Thanks for the hugs and the understanding......... I just hope that boulder is almost at the peak, as I can't push it much further!!!

I've looked at the links for the gathering and it looks fascinating, there will be a lot of wisdom and insight on offer there. Is anyone form the forum going?

Maybe there should be a conference for Otherkin one year soon, so that all Races can unite and discuss how we can work together for a balanced future.

Az

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Maybe there should be a conference for Otherkin one year soon, so that all Races can unite and discuss how we can work together for a balanced future.

I'm feeling strongly about this sort of thing recently... for those who feel an alliance to the Fallen and Shadow to come together in person, in conference, because.... I don't know? It seems important to unite soon, though I don't know why... So, yes a conference, probably along the same lines as this other gather, so we can share what we know and where we're going...

I love the idea for a gathering of some sort. Especially for those associated or somehow connected to the Shadow and Fallen. I feel this would hold more focus than a general gathering of all 'Kin right now, but who knows...
However, I wouldn't be able to afford to go to one right now, or any time soon probably
... Unless something changes...

I love the idea, though it seems travel expenses are a major concern for many of us. Any "crazy enough to work" ideas for sponsorship, or some kind of funding? Maybe piggybacking on an existing event, like Burning Man or Rainbow Gathering (for US examples)? Whatever happened to all those landed aristocrats who were so fascinated with the occult?

Yes, that's true.... I'll think on it too... I'm sure something will come up as a solution eventually.

To be honest I mentioned a conference for a gathering of Otherkin, hopefully linked to the Shadow, as a joke, but also because it has been on my mind for qute some time now. I can alsmot see us all together in my imagination and at the end there is almost a party, to celebrate something! Strange how the imagination works.

But I do feel that a gathering of those linekd to Shadow would be amazing and as you've said, would be a way of not only sharing so much but also of learning so much. How it would happen, where, when and how any associated costs would be covered I have no idea!!!! Time for us all to put the call for this out there into the Universe and see what comes back to us.........



Az

Maybe we can have a fundraiser. Like a Krispy Kreme donut fundraiser.

lol

I got the feeling of Tennessee. Because it kept coming up in conversation/thought/reading (synchronicty) and "feeling significant" as a neutral but powerful ground.

What about a "How many angels on the head of a pin?" dance-a-thon?

::ducks::

That is interesting Tennessee kept coming up for you. The same was happening for me with that state.

Haha! Works for me! I live right in the geographic center of Tennessee! lol