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 ARCHIVE: ill at ease

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Posts : 354
Join date : 2010-02-05

PostSubject: ARCHIVE: ill at ease   Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:12 am

By Dreamsend Oct 7 2009 -

Well. i may be just sick, but it doesn't seem like the normal kind of sick. So I'll share. I'm having a lot of trouble thinking. Thinking logically. Anything requires more than an ounce of computation with the mind is leaving me at a loss. Having some trouble walking without feeling dizzy or woozy and talking straight too.

Now, normally, or if I were about 30 years older (and more suspect for the serious type of illnesses) I would say I need to call the dr immediately. I'm tired of dr's visits that prove unfruitful, for one, and I've had experience enough with these types of symptoms to know a little that they're not physical but spiritual in nature... if painfully more intense than I've experienced. Trust me, if it goes on beyond today I will be going to a dr, most of all because I can't hardly function like this beyond the simplest of tasks.

I feel that the things like wings on my back are unfolding... and that I want to cry all the time for no reason in particular. I feel too that I'm undergoing some type of initiation... that the forgetfulness of words and of processes and of normal life is the clearing out of all that is "unnecessary" so that I can be filled with the knowledge that I will "need". I have no logical basis for this - me, who is so keen on logic - it's just a feeling. Also, I feel that I have in part relied on logic too long, and that has to do with why that entire part of my mind is on the fritz.

I'm having trouble even reading and understanding for more than a small amount of time. It reminds me a little of the time around 2002 I think when I first started going through "ascension" symptoms for real.. and found that suddenly I was unable to concentrate on anything, and couldn't read for more than a paragraph at a time, and was having trouble writing. Is it related? I don't know. Maybe I am in need of a psychologist (could it be related to some sort of problem with ADHD, which they have suspected in me?) more than a physician? I don't know.


By Ouza Oct 7 2009 -

Do what you feel is right, however, not to take the edge of this but guess what? I at least quote for myself that, I too am having the same symptoms, however, like the rest of you I can blame it on old age and lunacy,or at least supposedly this lifetime around! Remember what I said about syncronicity (<---doesn't seem to be in the dictionary but I swear I saw it somewhere!) We share the good as well as the bad spiritually, physically and emotionally! I know for fact that others are experiencing somewhat if not all the same symptoms but I will allow them to expose or share their thoughts on it, if they so desire to!

Otherwise, everything else is a piece of cake (<---Like... "so not !!!") But please keep under consideration that a lot of dross has to be taken of the top before you go silver again !!! And correct me if I'm wrong but Diamonds need a lot of heat, friction and pressure just in order to say... I do !!! This is a marriage, isn't it ????

Oops....Ouza blink.gif


By Dreamsend Oct 7 2009 -

Indeed... I had suspected that there might be others that were feeling the same as I am. Thanks for the confirmation *hugs*


By Razi'el Oct 8 2009 -

well, no worries, i think for a while i was going through much the same, though it somewhat coincided with these little depressive flashes i get. though one time i just collapsed and cried in the middle of the living room for no apparent reason, but that was months ago. *hugs you*

anywho, anything you feel you need to share, you'll always have an open ear in me.


By Dreamsend Oct 8 2009 -

=) Thank you


By Scratch Oct 9 2009 -

I've been feeling dizzy a lot, and overwhelmed, and fighting intense feelings that everything's stupid and ridiculous. I have been able to maintain focus, but it's definitely been an uphill battle. It feels like everything's coming to a head, but today was stellar.

I hope it doesn't stay debilitating for long. Concentrate on exactly what you want to do; do it as you think it. Maybe that'll help?


By Eidolon Oct 11 2009 -

Sorry I haven't been on much guys and gals. I know what you mean about trying to think in a linear or even logical fashion. I have been able to do neither of these since I really got moved in. My mind has been awash with a good bit of rain, clouds and low lying fog. I feel so tired recently that if I sit down I fall asleep and what comes after is no fun in the sun. Unless I consider that being burnt in the sun would be more fun than what comes once I pass out.

My girlfriend tried to wake me the other day and even smacked the crap out of me to wake me up the other day. She had no luck and I had a black and blue cheek for 2 days.

It feels almost as if I sit down and go directly into a deep deep meditative state. My mind litereally blanks out within a minute of me sitting down to watch a short tv show.


By Azaz'el Oct 11 2009 -

I can really empathise with your post, Eidolon, as it has been similar for me. ..... as soon as I sit down an dstop, I begin to drift off into exhaustion ...... but for me, as soon as I touch rest, my whole body seems to 'ping' back to full consciousness. Yet the feelings of tiredness increase. And whenever I try to sit and watch TV for relaxation, I find myself watching something that I can't remember after I have watched it. My low flying fog has settled and I think it is here to stay.

Hmmmm, maybe Samhuinn is going to be a strong one this year.

Az


By Dreamsend Oct 11 2009 -

I am dreading Samhuin myself... It exaggerates the feeling I've had of drift further from the world I know. Feeling that I am becoming connected again to those who "knew" me, consciously, and aware of their presence. The others waiting to take up their mantle for this planet and become connected all to each other again. So much peace and contentment, but so frightening. Feeling that there will be no turning back from there (though truly, technically, the process became irrevocable some months/years ago).

I finally emerged from the hurtful fog after a dream with several women that were knowledgeable in the dream, and spoke of things that mattered to my waking life, which I understood upon waking (though not in the dream). To a certain extent, it was important to "surrender myself" to it... to the confusion, loneliness in separation from the world around me, feeling of the eternal looming close to me and so far from everyone else... The feeling of being ever in a dream. It is a good dream. But if I fight the dream it turns hurtful... as I try to struggle back to a place (reality) which is no longer real for me.

.....That's a mouthful. In any case. Samhuin... usually to me feels to be a great and wonderful day of quickening and deepening of magic. This year I feel only emptiness and desolation coming, as if I may be forced to stare into the very deepest pit of darkness and face and accept what I find there, whether I have love for it or not.


By Scratch Oct 12 2009 -

Me too, Dreamsend. Sometimes, anymore, I feel like the only person who really exists. Other times, like I'm the one who doesn't. Perhaps, at least, I hope, it will bring an end to this constant acceleration, of whatever this is that feels like its beginning to spin out of control.
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