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 Betrayal? and Star

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Ousa

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:45 pm

When you talk... past, present and future you walk a very very thin line of perception, thinking linear no longer applies and abstract kicks in full blast! Life is so full of what ifs possibilities and probabilities, its hard to determine if up is down or right is left or even if yes is no!

We all just have to just mirror what we remember the best way we possibly can. You want concrete and all you may get is sand! This is why we are so limited in this world by words sometimes, its a you had to be there to truly get the whole picture thing. Indians often have waited a whole lifetime for that one shining moment of truth that explains it all! But what happens to one is a personal and unpredictable thing. Kind of like the 7 blind men and the elephant metaphor [When it starts, it loses in the translation!"]


~ Ouza
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Sun Mar 28, 2010 8:21 pm

You do have a good point Myth, although this instance feels like the past to me. Time indeed is not as linear as clocks and calendars imply, and our souls do seem to exist in a perpetual state of Now.

I had a fascinating conversation yesterday, about Einstein's theories of the speed of light, and how that can translate to the spirit.

According to some interpretations, when something is traveling at the speed of light, time stops. If it goes faster, time, theoretically, begins to move backwards. The conjecture was that if light is energy, and energy is what makes up everything, and our souls are the energy which give our bodies and minds life (not to be confused with the energy derived from food and drink) - our souls are light, which exist in that perpetual Now of light speed. So, time itself is cyclical in nature, always coming back to the present, or simply doesn't exist. Therefore, it is not linear, which means what happens in ones person's past can, theoretically, occur in another's future. It explains precognition and past-life recall quite nicely, in my opinion.

Just passing along a morsel of thought I've been savoring. Wink
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Azaz'el
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:44 pm

[quote="Ouza"]I would gladly recall as much as possible but this, is not my forum it is (Az's and Ishtahar's) and some of their recollections don't seem to wish to match mine. I have a feeling that they both have a specific time and date as to when they want these events to begin to be released! So out of courtesy, if both say it is okay then, I'll do my best!

No broken promises here with me! You have my word of honor!

quote]

Thats an interesting comment. At the risk of repeating myself, this forum is owned by both Ish and I, but I think I've made it pretty clear from the start that this forum is ran by and made by its members. So I have no problem with anyone posting anything at any time.

You say that our recollections don't seem to wish to match yours. It's never a case of wishing Ouza, it's a simple case of stating in the past that your memories don't match ours, and theres absolutely no reason why they should or need to. As long as all members accept the views of others and don't try to claim to have the only true memories over and above others, them anyone is free to post what they like. I thought we had cleared this up some time ago?

And to put to to rest your final point, I don't and as far as I know, neither does Ish, have any grand plan for anything to be revealed. I wish I did, as I'd want it now, if not yesterday, so everything could make more sense and make life just a bit easier!!!!!

Az

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Ousa

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Mar 29, 2010 4:12 am

You forgot and left out the words of courtesy and respect from your well selected quotes! Maybe I truly am too old a school of thought for you guys,

I always requested permission especially like on any of these subjects with my fellow friends! (Catholic upbringing and all even learned about how to respect soap, Ivory was my favorite!)

I believe you took it as a negative rather than as a positive complimentary response to and for the both of you! As you say I'm just not familiar enough with your terminology now a days and am old school hat!

Don't know exactly how to react or what to say to this one, I am totally flabbergasted! But like all things, i have to to the conclusion that this sounds to me like a very well orchestrated put down for just caring and being polite!

Ouza
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:24 pm

No Ouza, it wasn't a well orchestrated put down for you being caring and polite. It was a simple statement to reply to the comments you made that suggested a number of things that simply don't exist in this forum.

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:17 pm

They exist behind the forum with you and me at the center my friend as you well know!
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:49 pm

Tazi'el had black wings too. He was wel into his black. I suppose he was the Shadow version of a 'goth' Long black hair, black leather and black silk... and that silver knife he used to toss. Gods he was sexy and if you are wondering... yes I did Smile

Sem had wings the were tawny like a barn owl. White underneath with caramel coloured feathers on top. The were truly truly beautiful... just like him.
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:50 pm

Oh... and Raphael's were white... Michael's too I think. Gabriel's were black... the blackest I have ever seen... not black like night but black like the total absence of light. He was sexy too... hmm I see a pattern e What a Face merge. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:27 pm

Thanks so much Ish! I really appreciate your response. I'm not sure why this subject fascinates me but your posts made me smile, which I really needed today. Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:51 pm

Ishtahar wrote:
Tazi'el had black wings too. He was wel into his black. I suppose he was the Shadow version of a 'goth' Long black hair, black leather and black silk... and that silver knife he used to toss. Gods he was sexy and if you are wondering... yes I did Smile


Hehehe, so did many of us!!!!

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:52 pm

Ouza wrote:
They exist behind the forum with you and me at the center my friend as you well know!

There is nothing that exists behind the forum Ouza, just who we are now and the path leading to the future.

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:48 am

I would like to read what you have to recall, Ouza, though I can't guarantee that I'll agree with them either... the whole process of sharing memories with each other is to help make sense out of the bits and pieces that we have. What you have to say might help. It can't hurt.

Myth, what the others said about time, I agree. I have also come to the realization that time is not quite as linear as it feels. It loops and does all sorts of crazy things. Hawking even says there is no such thing as "time." Which I guess means there's just the one moment being looked at in different ways. Agh!

Through a LOT of contemplation and conversation, other things have come up. One is that the name of the Shadow in the vision was something like (and I heard the name and then looked up Dictionary of Angel Names) Mida'el though I may have called him more Midra'el in life.

I have also come to think that the way I killed him was something orchestrated by a larger power on a larger scale: i.e. many many murders/attacks at once, to all be coordinated. And the thing that I attacked him with, that piece of mirror, was something that was categorically used to kill/attack the Shadow, because it was one of the only things that would kill them.

I think there was something having to do with Mesopotamia. Maybe it was in or around Mesopotamia? I tried to do another trance to see more about *that particular* scene, and I saw a vision of myself in a white shift dress wearing reed sandals in a tall pyramid-like thing with lots of big steps leading down to the ground. In the vision I was horrified to be "back" in this land. I ended up running around a lot to see if any of the things that had been there when I was last there still existed, only to come across some sort of huge evil black blob-thing that tried to grab me and eat me up o_o.

I found out more, but that didn't have to do with me so much as them and it isn't my place. I feel like the more I find out, the more I see that I did a lot of horrible things, that deeply affected me in that life and this one, whether I was responsible for them or not... the more I wake up, the more I'm scared of switching back to the person I was at the end of that life.
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:14 am

I wouldn't be too afraid of backsliding like that if I were you, Dream'sEnd. A healthy dose of concerned attention, and these surfacing memories, will keep you on guard from it happening again, and I'm sure lifetimes in between then and now have provided distance and perspective. Fear, anger, loathing (nod to Gonzo) and such are what fuel those black blobs... I was trying to resent someone who hurt me, who recently moved back into town and talked to me today, and felt myself losing the happy centered place I've found, as a result. It was a valuable example of how keeping love in your heart, for everyone and thing, is the best way to combat that darkness. That's why forgiveness is so important, for ourselves and each other.

I know there are a lot of terrible things I did in the past, so much that I'm currently incapable of remembering them, though I know they are there. I know I'm going to have to face them sometime soon, and therefore, I'm saying this as much to myself as you. Wink

To quote two Americans who knew what was up: "Either we hang together, or hang separately" and "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Wed Mar 31, 2010 10:33 pm

You're right in thinking that there was a specific 'thing' that could physically kill or at least alter the form of any Shadow and send them back to our Home to heal and rest for a very long time before we could form our energy into physical matter once more.

One of the ways this was used was to be formed into knives and swords. I owned one of those swords for a long time.

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:17 pm

Yeah... then you gave it to me. Thanks Az Evil or Very Mad cyclops
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:21 am

[quote] Az: "There is nothing that exists behind the forum
Ouza, just who we are now and the path leading to the future."


Well then, I most certainly am and always will be the last one out and definitely always just being that horse of a different color! <---Elvis.... has not left yet ... folks!

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I
know because I've done it thousands of times."
<---I often wonder if that applies to mass quantities of consumed chocolate and only the good stuff!
~ Mark Twain

"God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the
School Board."
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:45 am

Quote :
Az: "There is nothing that exists behind the forum
Ouza, just who we are now and the path leading to the future."

Well then, I most certainly am and always will be the last one out and definitely always just being left that horse of a different color! <---Elvis.... has not left yet ... folks!

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I
know because I've done it thousands of times."

<---I often wonder if that applies to mass quantities of consumed chocolate...only the good stuff!
~ Mark Twain

"God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the
School Board."
~ Mark Twain
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:53 am

Az or Ish... What did Dani'el look like? I've been thinking a lot about him lately for some reason and I was just wondering...

Myth
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Mon Apr 12, 2010 10:37 pm

I think I had better leave a proper description of Dani'el to Ish, as my comments would be biased.

He was just........ beautiful.

Can I ask why you have been thinking of him, was there something that has prompted it?

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:21 am

No specific reason I can put into words. I sit here and type a sentence and then erase it... not really knowing what to say. And you've read my posts... I usually have a lot to say! There's a connection, I think? Then again, I feel the same about you. I really don't know and it's frustrating! Smile I was trying to get a picture of him in my head and having trouble, but it seems almost there... ya know? "Beautiful" is really ambiguous. Wink Maybe it's the "heart's soul" thing that has intrigued me, or maybe your emotions are just jumping through to me, Az, but from the start he's also one who I just felt a connection to... somehow.

I know I didn't explain it right. Who called me emo in another thread? Maybe they're right. If you knew me in the "real" world you'd laugh at that, but deep down maybe I am!

So yeah... I was just curious to know more about him so that I can get a clearer "picture" of him in my head. I understand your reluctance to talk about him. If I were you, I'd feel the same way.

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:59 pm

I don't think it's so much of a reluctance to talk about Dan that has stopped me replying to your post. I was just thinking that perhaps someone with greater objectivity than I have would be better to reply. Everyone who looks into the Grigori legends knows from day one about the mythic and amazing and ultimately tragic tale of the love that existed between Ish and Sem. But there is never a mention of that which existed between Dan and I. He became my life, the most perfect being I could ever hope to have in my life, and the time we had was far, far too short, but something that has kept me going for millennia after millennia.

I could write pages of prose or memories or thoughts or musings..... but they would all be biased and probably end up saying more about me than they would about him. So I do think a more objective view of Dani'el might help you more in picturing him.

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:57 pm

Daniel was my friend, really more like a brother to me. He was a wanderer an when I lived in Albion he would come and go sometimes with years in between. My fondest memories of him were as a child when he would come strolling down the path with a huge grin on his face. He would take me by the hand and lead me out into the fields and then we would walk through the 'fiels of gols' with him on my shoulders and sometimes he played a whistle or a flute. He always carried a bag over his shoulders and was always collecting things.

It was following Dan I went to Eden in the first place. I suppose I could say it was his fault that I ever met Sem and fell in love with him Smile

He was golden. Not in the way Raphael was, or Sem... but a honey gold and made people smile even when they didn't want to.

Dan was calming influence on everyone. He was beautiful inside and out. Sem was often impetuous and rushed into things an Dan held him back. He was awesome, he was wise as heck and he was beautiful, probabaly the most beautiful of all... next to Sem of course. But he was too nice sometimes I think.

Umm... yeah... I suppose I am a bit biased too.
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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:07 pm

Thank you for sharing that with me, Ish. I'm going to think about that for awhile... Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:53 pm

I think I'll just cry for a while.

Thanks for those memories Ish, they mean a lot.

Az

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PostSubject: Re: Betrayal? and Star   Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:01 am

"And in the distance is a gathering,
that no longer seems so far away...
Brought to our knees, so let us pray,
and all together we'll bring the real rain,
watch all that's wasted wash away --
So let it come. Our will be done!" - "The Prayer Position"

My jaw dropped when Dani'el's name came up. He's been on my mind a lot lately too, long before I revisited this thread.
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