Hi, I'm Perin

I've never been particularly good at introductions, so please bare with me.

I'm fairly new to the realm of 'otherkin' and the like. I'm not sure how the name or idea came to me when I was trying to find some idea of whats going on, but it did. Figured I'd try and find something of it here online before searching (probably fruitlessly in the local library). I eventually found this place, and it seemed like a good place to stop in and make friends and find information.
I've never been terribly convinced of my humanity, even as a child. My parents thought it was cute and bought me fairy wings and books about fantasy creatures and the like. But the idea never left that there was something not quite right about this life... or my body, or mind, or whathaveyou.

I think I started to remember before, once, but I managed to repress it out of fear or confusion or some other force. And until recently I left that box alone in the dustiest corner of my mind. But now I can't keep it closed, and I've been having nightmares and dreams almost too vivid to be just dreams. But when I wake up, I can't remember most of them. I had been, until these all started, a lucid dreamer. And I used to have a friend I'd meet in my dreams from time to time and we'd take turns spending time in my dreams or his. Until recently, and now I can't find him anywhere... I'm pretty sure that the last part isn't very important, but... it may be?

I'm not sure what I am, exactly, that's what I've been having the hardest time figuring out. I just have bits and pieces in my head, the few things I have started to recall with some amount of clarity.


So, a long, aimless introduction and a kind request for pointers in speeding up this remembering process, or just in general.

But, I'm Perin, and I'm very pleased to meet you all

Welcome Perin,

Pleased to meet you and hope that we can help each other in the long road of awakening. Feel free to join in any of the current topics, or to start a new conversation in the forum.

Do you have any clues about what you might "be"? That's a good place to start... No one, of course, can tell you who or what you were, but it can help to connect with those who feel similarly, as of course you have started by reaching out to otherkin.

Good luck in your journey, and welcome again

Dream'sEnd

Greetings and welcome to the forum Perin,

I'm pleased and honoured that you felt able to join and begin part of your journey and search here with us. As you'll see from the threads and posts, this forum is for all those who have even the smallest link to the Shadow, and between us all we have a lot of memories and knowledge. However, we don't have it all and so whilst we may be able to point you in the right direction or offer suggestions, only you will be able to find your own truth. But we can share some of the journey with you.

The box you tried to keep the lid on will never be kept quiet and perhaps the nightmares you've been having but can't remember are just your own minds way of trying to put memories and thoughts etc into som sort of order in readyness for your past memories to surface. Your inability to have lucid dreams now is understandable... there are times when it's safest for the mind to face things in privacy, and maybe some of the memories or thoughts your subconscious has been dealing with should not be shared with the friend you shared dreams with, for his safety as well as your own.

As for having nothing more that bits and pieces......... you're in good company!! We all started out like that and most of us are still like that, only through time some now have slightly larger pieces.... the forum is here so we can share what feels right to share and hopefully create a bigger picture of what happened and why.

If there is anything you want to post but more privately, there is a members section listed on the forum homepage that is only visable to members once they are logged in.

Welcome

Az

Welcome to the forum, Perin!
Maybe you have been many things, in many lives?

welcome to the Forum, Perin!

i look forward to hearing about you, and to hearing about your story, your dreams, and whatever bits and pieces of memories you happen to acquire!

as Dream has said, finding out what you are is often a good start, or were, rather. but, as Ellysium said as well, keep in mind that you may have been many things in your past, so it's really quite interesting to see how people develop.

if you ever have a problem with the forum itself or another member, be sure to notify an admin or a moderator such as myself, Scratch, Dream's End, and a few others who roam about, okay? maybe we can share stories sometime ^-^

Best Wishes,
Razi'el

As it is obvious, my visits to the forum have been few and far between as of late, for various reasons. As I said to the last person I welcomed, I fear I am a bit wanting in my punctuality, that is to say, I'm late...
In any event, I welcome you personally, to the forum, and hope you find the answers here that you seek. This is not a place that one simply stumbles upon, it is a place of reunion, a place to call home amongst those you already know.

Feel free to ask any questions that you may have,
Saluti,

Mal.

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."

We are all.... here for you in Love and in Light !!!


Love Ouza

I don't think any of us really knew what we were or what we would be when we stated on this road. It may soud trite but the journey really is as important as the destination. I'm wondering when and where I will end up, but I don't think the end is in sight yet

Welcome to the forum Perin, looking forward to getting to know you

Hi Perin, sorry I forgot to welcome you sooner!

The way you found the term Otherkin sounds quite a bit like how I did. Isn't it amazing how the universe seems to simply toss the answer at us when we're ready? I tried to deny it for quite a while too, but there never seems to be any sense in denying anything about who and what you are.

As I'm sure you've seen, there are sections for other types of kin here, and not all of us are strictly Shadow. Also, we have a section specifically for dreams, and I typically find writing them down (either here or in a journal) helps me remember details and see connections/meanings I would not have otherwise. That is interesting about your friend, especially that you cannot find him anymore. I hope you do again soon.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM one of the mods. Hope this place can help you answer some of your questions.

Thank you all for the warm welcome:)

You'll probably start seeing me around a bit more in the coming days. I got on this site in time for my computer to spazz out.

But any tips for being able to 'sense' (for lack of a better word) what my form is?

and I had a new dream two nights ago that I'll go about posting about in the appropriate section.

But it's nice feeling knowing I'm not totally crazy, haha.

I suppose I should also warn you all that I was raised in a pretty conservative house. My parents certainly aren't the type to burn witches at the stake and the like, they're fairly open minded, but..

the idea of astral projections and otherkin and magic are still a fairly foreign concept to me.


I'm a decent empath and can see colors around some... my family does know about that. They claim it as some sort of 'gift of the spirit'

which leads me to another question: grounding? focusing? any pointers? Either it's on and I can't control it and I get swept away or it's off and I feel kinda grey/bleh.

You're pretty lucky, then. When I told my mom that I used the energy from different stones to heal myself and friends, she set up a private conference with the pastor of our church! Happily, it was a very liberal church, and the pastor told me that if I wasn't finding the spiritual fulfillment I was seeking, be thorough in my research, but by all means look elsewhere. I still can't talk to my parents about ghosts, or auras, or anything like that.

As far as grounding and focusing goes, it's largely just a matter of practice, and getting used to what sound like relatively new sensations to you. When you feel yourself being swept away, visualize roots or sort of a tail of light leading from you down into the Earth, anchoring you and pulling the excess energy making you feel uncomfortable out of your aura. Keep experimenting until you find something easy and natural to visualize/feel... the point is to create a connection and conduit between you and the ground. As far as focusing goes, that's pretty much literally as it sounds. Concentrate your full attention on what you're doing. Remember how it feels when it's "on," and play with ways to bring that feeling back when it's "off." The more practice and control you get, the easier and less chaotic it will feel. It's already second nature to you. You just need to convince your logical, analytical mind of that now.