Please allow me to introduce myself...

It feels so goooood to be back!

It's a new year, a new forum (you're right about the decor, Ish), and in my continually-evolving way, a new me. This place was practice ground to stop apologizing for myself, and now I take that attitude off the computer. I can't thank you all enough.

This name was given to me in a dream. It proved to be a riddle, a key, and street cred. I had already tattooed it on myself, to cover up the first inkling I didn't like much anymore, before a chance conversation told me what it meant. I'm still somewhat hush-hush about that, but will share the story soon. I wouldn't have believed it myself, if it hadn't knit itself together for me, despite my best attempts to squash it.

I am 29 years old, which no one guesses from looking at me. About 10 of those were lived in a drug-filled haze of exploration, existing as a tripped-out gothic hippie, and delving into "hidden" arts made surprisingly available to me. I've been called gangster, angel, goddess, and the devil: all apply, in a sense. The one thing I haven't been was very honest with myself, until about 2 years ago, which was also around the time I first found the term Otherkin, and this forum. Now, I no longer question my sanity, but wonder more about the world's. Since losing my formidable fear of myself, it seems to be welcoming me with open arms, and at times openly acknowledging what I (mistakenly) thought no one would believe, before I said a word about it.

It is becoming ever more apparent to me how much I have kept locked inside, and how unhealthy it is to hide. Even my mistakes, in hindsight, seemed unconsciously calculated, and there's always deeper layers to the things I do in that special way of "don't know why, but I need to," which are revealed later at the appropriate time. I hear the voice of God, old Testament prophet style, after having made a promise to do what It says. Even though it offers no explanation for seemingly strange commands, I have grown and prospered since the moment I began to pay attention.

Now, my heart feels undivided, and all desire to imbibe of Wonderland has vanished. Great things are afoot, and I hope we all continue to grow and share.

Scratch, it's good to have you back with us feeling as energised and empowered as you so obviously do.

A new home, new decor, new opportunities and a new chance for us all to connect, reconnect and remember. This is now our time, to explore and learn so that we can begin to act in the world.

Az
x

"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service."

~ John Burroughs

Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises, for never intending to go beyond promise, it costs nothing. ~ Ouza

Um, did you just call me a hypocrite?

The Hypocrisy statement was not aimed at you, it was for the so called council of five that all of us had to stand before and be humiliated and condemned by!

Sorry, but words don't always describe the true hurt, don't judge the book by it's cover, please forgive me for any misunderstanding! There must be something in the air, my son just yelled at me and I had to try to heal his misunderstanding of a situation with his mother! ....PARENTS... !!!! Go Figure!


He was reading her body language and was not taking into consideration her true positive thoughts and feelings and proceeded to personalize everything that was being said in a negative way and was definitely not being taken in the true sense that was trying to be conveyed!

~ Ouza

Yeah, I think there is something in the air today. I'm certainly feeling it! I didn't think that was what you meant, but it was confusing. I know I'm not, anyway. No hard feelings.

Glad you're back =) I hope that the new year brings more clarity and focus for you =)

I like the statement "her the voice of God, Old Testament style." LOL that's so classic. I wish the current church would acknowledge people like that.

::grins:: Thanks, and me too! It would make things so much easier for them, and the rest of us having to put up with them.

shine on you crazy diamond

Welcome back. I can't BELIEVE the new avatars... how totally awesome are they