HomeHome  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 Sadness

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Ashtart

avatar

Posts : 1373
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 34

PostSubject: Sadness   Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:59 pm

A friend of mine on the mainland, who moved away from our town a year or so before i did, killed herself. She was bright, and beautiful and vivacious and was always doing something awesome like going to bonfires and fire dancing and making kilts. I can't imagine what would be in the heart of someone like her who seemed to be really enjoying the hell out of life.

Her last words to us on facebook were from a Flogging Molly song... "If I ever leave this world alive...."

I can't stop crying, and suppose I will light a candle or something, but that seems almost too tame for her... like I would have to go into the woods, strip naked, and run howling at the moon to properly pay tribute to this lovely friend, who was very outgoing, very loving, gave great hugs and was just... tall and amazing. At the least, I will have to have some whiskey at some point today. A lot of whiskey.

So, traditional "someone close to you has done something" message... tell your friends you love them, and all that. But moreover, tell your friends what you really think.. tell them to piss off or whatever, tell them you've always wanted to make wild love to them under the full moon, tell them that their way of speaking gives you goosebumps whenever you hear them, tell them you need new friends, tell them the full unadulterated truth. Whatever it is.. don't be sad and lonely... kick someone in the face and take happiness by the balls and proclaim your mastery over your destiny.

I don't think she did anything that she didn't want to do... maybe it was really her time... but I can't help but feel like someone has slapped me in the face because I'll never get to hug her again.

<3

A
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Razi'el
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 527
Join date : 2010-02-08
Age : 28
Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:48 pm

oh, hun.... *hugs tight* i'm so sorry to hear that... but you can rest assured, i'll make sure i do. but, always remember, Ash... no one is ever gone forever. you'll be sure to find her again, because the ties that bind our hearts together are more powerful than anyone knows.

i know, by now this probably sounds like pre programmed consolation, but i mean every last bit of it. *hugs again* i'll talk to you later tonight, okay?

Best wishes, and Much love,
Raz
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ashtart

avatar

Posts : 1373
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 34

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:13 pm

You have a lovely way with words, Raz, I do feel comforted.

I may be a little late tonight, but I will be there.... Thank you for the hugs. *gives hugs too*

Ash
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ousa

avatar

Posts : 922
Join date : 2010-03-07
Age : 70
Location : Kansas

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:52 pm

In the death of a loved one there, is nothing that you can say or do that will change the loss hurt and pain.

It just is and it hurts like hel.

If anything at all look well into yourself. There is a source of strength which will always spring up if you will but always look there.

Ouza
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ashtart

avatar

Posts : 1373
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 34

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:55 pm

Thank you Ouza <3 I will look there.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Scratch

avatar

Posts : 670
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 36
Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Mon Apr 04, 2011 5:54 am

This message is quite a tribute to a beautiful sounding soul. I kept thinking there's never anything really good that can be said, but I think you just did.

Drink a great toast to her, and howl away. Just please treat yourself right. You know we're here for you.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ashtart

avatar

Posts : 1373
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 34

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:26 am

That meant more than I can comprehend. I will and..... I will.

*starts crying again*

Ash
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Scratch

avatar

Posts : 670
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 36
Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:46 pm

::hugs you tight:: We've got you. It'll hurt like this for a while, but we've got you. It will be okay.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Azaz'el
Admin
avatar

Posts : 1084
Join date : 2010-02-02
Age : 48
Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:30 pm

I wish I didn't know how you feel right now. I wish I could say something that will make you feel better. I wish that, as everyone says, time will heal. I wish it could all make sense.

Some people learn many lessons in their lives, however long that may be. And some people teach us a great deal by how they live their lives. But some, a special few, teach us the greatest of all lessons through their death.

Celebrate the light that was their life, scream and howl at your loss, sit in the stillness of the pain and know what it is to be alive. But remember that your loss is also their gift, and a new beginning for them.

I wish I didn't know how you feel, but I do...... and in time it does become easier to cope.

lots of love,

Az

_________________
Hope fades into the world of night
Through Shadows falling out of memory and time...
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://fallenshadow.darkbb.com
Ashtart

avatar

Posts : 1373
Join date : 2010-02-06
Age : 34

PostSubject: Re: Sadness   Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:53 pm

<3 <3

She has and is still teaching me so many things.... it's funny how strongly I can feel her spirit in the last few days, almost as if she gave herself the freedom to boundlessly love all of her friends and family. I had already been going through a difficult time before she did that, with my own past and memories of other loss, and she seems to be - in spirit - pushing me past what was nearly going to destroy me....

In a way I think that none of us that knew her were "not expecting" this, on a level... in some ways, maybe her time had come.... but it's so cruel and heartbreaking to be so wonderful and so brilliant and shine so bright and pierce the hearts of so many people with your kindness and warmth and love only to steal it away suddenly. It hurts terribly. I do acknowledge what she is helping me, and likely many of her friends with... one woman said that it seemed as if she had possessed the wind, storming about.... many are saying like me that they strongly feel her presence and her spirit and they don't feel like she's left, not yet. But we all miss her laugh.... and... yeah.

I thought it would feel better, but today it only feels worse. I literally woke up and started crying as soon as I was conscious. I suppose it will only feel worse and worse for a while... but yesterday was so terrible... I wonder how much worse it will become......

I'm so grateful to you and SotF for supporting me, it means more than I can express with words.

And I do feel that you all have "got me."

<3

Gratefully,

Ash
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Sadness   

Back to top Go down
 
Sadness
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness (acoustic)

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: General Information :: Miscelleny-
Jump to: