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 The Heist of the Century!

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PostSubject: The Heist of the Century!   Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:25 pm

I just woke up from the funniest dream I have had in a long time. Not sure if I can do it justice here, and I don't have the whole story, but I wanted to share what I remember, since some of you were in it.


Az, Ish, Sem, and I had just, somehow, pulled off what could have been the largest bank robbery in human history. We were calling it the heist of the century. I did not get to see the details of the crime (unfortunately): the action kicked in as we were making our escape.

We had arranged to use the end of a massive hippie-style event to mask our departure. Having stashed our getaway vehicle among the art cars, in a vast field serving as a parking lot, we figured we could melt ourselves into the crowd, and appear as just another handful of freaks heading home when the festival let out. We succeeded, a little too well.

I was impatient to be out and gone, and already most of the way up a tall hill, when I realized I was walking alone. Turning to look for the others, I saw Az and Sem, still a long way behind me, dressed in patches like a couple of granola Renaissance Faire rejects. Az was expounding on something like an overexcited British professor, and obviously had been for quite a while. He showed little sign of changing the subject or coming up for air, even though Sem was giving only barest pretense of listening to anything he was saying. Sem had found a set of juggling sticks, and was deeply focused on playing with them as he walked. Except he was complete crap at it, and at most could only manage three steps at a time, before sending the center stick he was trying to keep aloft with the other two flying off in some wild direction, and having to chase it down.

"Oh, for f***'s sake!" I muttered, and called out, "Guys! We *are* on a time crunch here!"

That brought them back to reality. Sem gathered up his sticks, and they hurried the rest of the way up to me.

"Where the hell is Ish?" I demanded

They looked at each other in a way that made me wonder if they'd smoked something while amongst the crowd, then agreed that she was getting the car.

As if on cue, we heard the roar of an engine, and had just enough time to get out of the way, as an extraordinary vehicle jumped the crest, then grumbled to an idling stop next to us. It looked like something between the Munstermobile, a classic roadster, and a Humvee. Ish was behind the wheel, but as soon as she got it out of gear, she announced, "I'm not driving anymore! Sem, take the wheel." and crawled over the seat into the back.

I caught Sem taking a surreptitious look for the wheel before choosing a door, and being the American, started crowing, "Sem doesn't know which si-ide! Sem doesn't know which SI-ide!"

He didn't dignify that with a response, other than a sly grin at me before he threw open his door and climbed in. That made me the last one inside the car, so I took the remaining door... and realized I'd been too busy teasing to pay attention, and he'd stuck me with the driver's side.

Undeterred, I threw our flash tank into gear, and wanted to roar down the dirt road toward the freeway, but was forced to crawl and honk, due to the sea of hippies on foot that still surrounded us. The fact many of them were stopping in their tracks to check out our ride was not improving my mood at all.

Ish had stretched out across the full length of the furthest seat in back (due to dream logic, the car kept reconfiguring itself, so its interior now resembled a minivan) and seemed to be preparing for a nap. First though, she commented, "As soon as we're free and clear, you'd better put all this money somewhere safe before I have a chance to spend any. I have a... passion." That last word was said with such quiet intensity, we all exchanged startled glances, then looked back for clarification, but she had already fallen asleep.

Quietly, either not to wake her or in fear of her wrath, Sem said out of the corner of his mouth, "It's true. She has a love for shopping unlike anything I've ever seen."

"Oh yes." Az agreed, leaning forward between the bucket seats to talk to us. "I've seen her in action, and we need to be very careful. Knowing she has this kind of money at her disposal, I could very well see her walking into a department store, and simply asking, "How much?"

"How much for what?" I asked, maneuvering around various stoned road blocks.

Az and Sem exchanged a look, and both answered, "The department store."

I let out a low whistle, then replied, "At least she has the decency to let us know she has a problem."

There was a moment of silent agreement, then Az asked, in a tone of shuddering relief, "So, we can postpone the trip to Woolworth's, then?"


That was when I woke up, and knew I needed to share this. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll let you know if I ever see how it all turns out. Wink
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Azaz'el
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:58 pm

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

I love it, and that is sooooooo Ish! But don't tell her I said that!

as for the description of me talking.......... you don't know how true that is!!!

I hope you get more of this dream, I want to know what happens next!

Az



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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:03 am

Um, I think you just did... ::ducks::
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 8:35 am

I am tickled, and rather amazed, to hear how accurate that was. I would not have taken Ish for a major shopper. You, on the other hand... study
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:58 pm

Ish is NOT a major shopper, Ish HATES shopping and Ish is going to slap Az soooooo hard.

On the other hand I would so be the one driving over the crest in a monster truck. I have always wanted to drive one of those Smile

I can SO see Az and Sem in those costumes and it is so so funny to think of Sem trying to juggle. Have I mentioned I miss him?
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:57 pm

Now THAT was what I could see myself being dead on about. I was jealous, that you had the balls to blow on through like that, where I was creeping along like a granny.

Isn't it funny how *they* were the ones providing that detail, *after* you were asleep... ::snicker::

Thanks for the laugh!
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:15 pm

I have to chuckle too. I never could balance anything correctly. Funny I had this idea a long long time ago that, I was doing the right thing for all of mankind and would you believe it or not I actually had a team of 200 Fantastic Souls that were interested in and willing to back me up and doing the same thing. But I fucked up and lost all of them being pushed into this cycle of reincarnation that all of this earth suffer from. Along with the love of my life and my children. It always seems that I'm put into a good situation but always end up screwing it up somehow or other Damn it where, is the remainder of my team? How much longer must Az me and my wishglow have to wait ????????????????? Or are we really still doomed even though, I was told otherwise about the codex being null and void. Maybe it was just a trap or a joke just to bring me out. I want my wife, children and all my friends back so much !!! I love you and miss you all so terribly that it hurts all the way to the core of my being !!! I love you Sad I died that day in more ways than one! Sad
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:32 pm

I know the way you feel, though I have never once thought or felt we were doomed. Even when I did not think I had anything to live for, or any of these people I have longed for were anything more than figments of my desperate imagination, we were not doomed. Never have been, never will be.

One of the things I loved most about this dream was how easy and casual it was between us. No tearful hugs, or any conception of having been apart at all. It was just like old times, now.
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:51 pm

You really mustn't threaten to slap me so hard, Ish, you know I'll only enjoy it!

Yeah, ok, so I am a bit of a shopper, but I like pretty things and shiny things!!! And I was really only referring to Ish driving such a machine............. I have been driven many places by Ish and I can tell you all she goes from zero to warp speed 10 in about 2 seconds!

affraid

Az

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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:01 pm

Not the way I'll slap you, you won't.

I have to acknowledge though to being a bit of a speed freak in the car. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:37 am

LMAO!!!! That was great Scratch... so needed the laugh Razz
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:46 am

::grin:: Glad you enjoyed it too. Though I'm wondering, after the little dialog here, if I'm going to be dreaming some kind of ultimate death match between Ish and Az anytime soon. Sorry man, but I think my money would be on Ish...
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:14 am

*chuckles* yeah would have to agree with you there - Although I can see Az provoking her just a bit Razz
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:54 pm

I have no idea what you mean!!!! I'm lovely really, innocent and pure............angelic!! bounce

I would never provoke Ish at all, never have, never will. Honest!!!

Many moons ago Ish and I even had our very own Bard who was willing to chronicle the battle between the two of us, ready to sing the great song as a warning to others.

Cool


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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:00 am

Aren't we all Angelic and pure ? Very Happy Such an epic battle cannot go unheard of Razz
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Wed Oct 05, 2011 5:20 am

::laughing:: Stop it Az. Now I want to slap you too, and it's really no fun when you're so welcome to the idea!
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:17 pm

HAHA The Battle Of The Stotties And The Welshcakes.
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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:44 pm

That battle will be of epic proportions and will be told to scare small children in future millennia!!!


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PostSubject: Re: The Heist of the Century!   Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:30 pm

OH Ish, I just fell over laughing!
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