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Ezikiel



Posts : 24
Join date : 2010-03-01
Age : 26

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PostSubject: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptyFri Oct 21, 2011 7:01 am

It's been a while since I posted anything here on the site, so I thought it was about time I post something. I have a few things to share, and they'll be posted slowly, as I work my way through them, both mentally and emotionally.

This particular event is one that isn't exactly a dream, but was an image I received once during a particularly strong urge I had, one of the ones where I cannot focus on anything but the urge to feed, and feel like screaming from the urge.

I was laying there, writhing around in bed, feeling trapped inside this body and just wanting to break free in order to hunt in the darkness. In my mind I saw a figure; it was not clear enough to specifically see any details, but somehow I knew it was me. I was standing in the darkness, the darkness that I've come to know as comforting and accepted. I was leaning forward slightly, screaming and yelling from the urge to feed. My hands were covering my face, fingers digging into my flesh slightly. As I pulled them away, my flesh and body was pulled away, not in a bloody mess, but like peeling the skin off the onion; I simply was pulling myself apart in bits and pieces. Underneath was pure darkness, shadow, yet still it was humanoid, still it was me. I was made of a darkness much like the darkness around me, yet slightly different, in an unexplainable way. It wasn't long before the last piece of me was gone, and all that remained was the dark figure, the darkness and shadows that were inside of me.

The vision, if you will, ended there. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. If anyone has any interpretations, I would be interested in them. Some day, I hope to find the answers to all my questions.
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Ishtahar
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Ishtahar

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Join date : 2010-02-05
Age : 55
Location : Wales

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PostSubject: Re: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptyFri Oct 21, 2011 7:57 am

Strange i was just addressing this very point on another thread. Go take a look at Bizzarre Meditation. Seems to be a theme that's cropping up with a lot of us at the moment.

It might sound very strange but when you get to that stage you should be able to feed on the darkness.
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Scratch

Scratch

Posts : 670
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 38
Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

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PostSubject: Re: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptyFri Oct 21, 2011 9:34 am

Yes, this does sound like it's becoming a theme.

The best I can offer is it sounds like you are, literally or figuratively, peeling away an old layer, to become something new. Doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. I'm not there yet, but I think Ish is right, and that would be a very good thing for you.

Wish there was something more I could do to help, and hope you do find the answers you're looking for.
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Ari'el
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Ari'el

Posts : 737
Join date : 2010-03-30
Age : 33
Location : Upstate New York, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptyFri Oct 21, 2011 1:47 pm

I don't know if I can give you any advice in addition to what Ish and Scratch already said....but I had a really odd reaction to what you wrote, Ezekiel.

I like what you said about darkness being comforting and accepting. I agree. But at the point where you are fully dark yourself, yet of a slightly different flavor, I suddenly became this dark thing or it came up from somewhere. It was all tongue and teeth and wanted to pounce forward and lick up the darkness like it was the most delicious and satisfying thing.... O.O? I don't think it wanted to harm you in any way... It just revels in the darkness I guess? I don't know, I've never had something quite like that happen before so I don't really understand it.
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Azaz'el
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Azaz'el

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Age : 50
Location : UK

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PostSubject: Re: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptyFri Oct 21, 2011 10:15 pm

This does seem to be a theme developing fr many of us right now. Much that links in and helps explain aspects of it have been mentioned here and in the other thread, as Ish has said.

the darkness is perhaps the essence of who you are...... do you identify and know yourself to be Shadow or an other Kin? I ask as being darkness inside is the essence of the veil surrounding the soul of Shadow. At our heart we are fire, born of fire and made of fire, but we are wrapped in darkness, in Shadow. Peeling away the layers of the old you helps you to face what is inside, helping you to perhaps face what you need to see and understand.

Az

_________________
Hope fades into the world of night
Through Shadows falling out of memory and time...
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Scratch

Scratch

Posts : 670
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 38
Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

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PostSubject: Re: Darkness Inside   Darkness Inside EmptySat Oct 22, 2011 2:33 am

Reading that had an interesting effect on me, Az. I'm not sure what it was, but it felt like something went *Boom!* and now a pressure is gone.
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