ARCHIVE: Things I'm Hearing, The "Other," the "Voice," the Guide

From Dreamsend 16 Oct 2007:

It seems this is the best place for this...

The "guiding voice." I don't really know what it is or where it comes from. I first got in contact with guiding energies (intuition) under the guise of spirit guides. They've helped me immensely to develop the psychic abilities lying latent within me. The "voice" is something slightly different, but seems to "hark" from that same location as the guiding energies that help me intuit the future. Intuition has only been in my control for the past seven or so years... but the voice has been there most of my life. I've taken to calling it "the Other," after a friend suddenly spoke in the same tones that it speaks to me.

The Other seems to say cryptic things, that ring with a vibe of absolute truth (to those who are listening), and comes from me, but isn't me? I don't really know what it is. It's the voice that I hear tell me to "become" "believe" "be." But it's said other things, too, that seem of equal significance...

I just have no idea what they mean. Mostly, I've been trying to dig deeper and deeper everyday, "find my true self." Every so often I'll hit a nerve that feels like the spot where truth resides, but I'm overwhelmed too quickly and pull back. Over the past five years, I've hit that "nerve" and the truth I heard the Other tell me about myself is, "You are already dead."

I have *no* idea what that means. But it feels true. Like somehow, the "me" I know is not the real me... and moreover, intrinsically (physically?) dead. I can't understand how that can be so, but that comes through so strongly that I can't ignore it. Most of all, it seems as if digger deeper would lead me to the truth of what that means.

There are several other things I hear, or used to say out of the blue, prompted by the Other. I'm trying not to freak out, now. It's like even invoking it brings it up again. Does anyone know what this is, or have experiences with the Other?

-- A


From Dreamsend 16 Oct 2007:

I forgot to add something that's off-topic but also related at the same time.

Does anyone else here hear singing? Like a huge dissonant chorus of people? It happens more strongly by the day, and I want to join in, or stop it, or find the people that are singing. I hear a dissonant/harmonic chorus, like screaming and singing. It tears at me deep, makes me "homesick," makes me regret something... like that I purposely forgot and hearing that makes me regret enough (at times?) to regret my decision... but not enough to turn back, if that sort of thing makes sense.

I feel like this is related to the Other and the things it says somehow. Input is welcome.


From Azaz'el 16 Oct 2007:

Dreamsend, thank you so much for sharing something that is so personal to you. I have little experience of the Other that you speak of, but I wonder if Ishtahar would have more to say on this.... it reminds me of a conversation I have had with her. I'll say no more at the moment, but will see if she responds.

I can't help but wonder if the Other is actually you, a part of who you are.... or who you once were, that is trying to come to the surface and is offering you guidance. If this is the case, the problem with such guidance is that it can be based on a knowledge or understanding that you don't yet have, in which case often what is said can seem to be nonsense. I'd certainly recommend that you write down whatever you are told, as in time it could make very real sense to you and be vitally important in your understanding of your path ahead.

As for the music and singing, this I have had experience of. It actually happened one Samhuinn (Hallowe'en) night a number of years ago. I was in the outskirts of a forest, almost at midnight and the singing began. It was harsh and beautiful, filled with a sense of longing and the loss of innocence and hope. The music and singing was a link that made me remember "home" .... not this, the physical home I have in this life, but the real home beyond this world and the Exile I have suffered for Millennia. It was an echo from my Home, my Family, it was a memory of what was and could yet be.

I realise this may not help you in any way, but I believe it came to me to help me remember who I was, who I am. Does that make sense?

How about everyone else?

Az


--------------------
...in the silence of your heart is the echo of our Race..... remember me and listen...


From Ishtahar 16 oct 2007:

I am not entirely sure what you are referring to Az, but the first thing that came to mind when you mentioned 'The Other' was someone that I know very well who is also dead but not dead and who speaks to me in riddles and in the voices of others.

He began as my spirit guide and he walked with me a time on the path I was then walking as my guide. He was so arrogant and smug and he spoke in riddles and would laugh when I got angry. He told me that I would learn nothing if he just gave me answers and the only way to learn anything true was to find the answers for myself with his help just to nudge me in the right direction.

Then I found myself falling hopelessly in love with him and for a time things were crazy as I had a 'virtual love' with someone who was not even incarnate.

Then I began to remember previous lives when we were incarnate together and finally I found him in the past....he is my first love, whose love has travelled across the starts and the centuries and has never been broken despite torture and loss and pain...he is Shemyaza.

I would say that your 'Other' could well be part of yourself which is feeding you the clues you need to find your path back to the truth...or it may be your Shem, your true love who is seeking you even now, growing closer the nearer you are to finding the truth about yourself. Or it might be something entirely different.

As I find myself saying so many times, no one here can tell you who or what the voice is, we can only share with you our experiences of our own voices and maybe help you to find the answers for yourself.

As for the singing, if I stop and concentrate, no matter where I am, who I am surrounded with, i ALWAYS hear singing.


--------------------
Time is a strange thing, the whole of it can be condensed into a single moment and that moment can be stretched to swallow infinity, But in this moment at this time....I am all yours.


From Hope 17 Oct 2007:

i think i understand that "nerve" feeling you talked about. it's just something that overwhelms like trying to picture infinity or something like that, right? if so i can tell that I've given in and can explain the "you are already dead" thing to you; except i heard no voices or anything for that fact. but coming to that knowledge, that truth, will disturb your entire perception of reality and make you question what is real, and since you loose your grip with reality it would seem that you are dead since you do not fall to the same views and call them maybe illusions as everyone else.


From Ishtahar 17 Oct 2007:

That is a really interesting thought Hope. I can see that it would be quite possible to find a truth so overwhelming that it would sweep away all sense of being and kind of ...unmake you. And I can see that this would be a kind of death. I have come to that point once or twice in my life and it has always brought enormous and profound change...like the first time my marriage ended and the second time....well I suppose that was where this site and the things we have written on it started

I think there might be another interpretation thought, and I cant think for the moment of how to express what I mean but it is what I feel and that is that the soul that inhabits the body that is typing this post is not the soul that was meant to inhabit this body and I am only borrowing it because it is the only way I can exist in this reality to do what I have to do here,. Therefore I am not really alive and therefore I am as if dead.

Seeing this written it does not make much sense but I dont know at the moment how to put it more clearly


--------------------
Time is a strange thing, the whole of it can be condensed into a single moment and that moment can be stretched to swallow infinity, But in this moment at this time....I am all yours.


From Dreamsend 19 Oct 2007:

Hi all,

Azazel, I'm more than happy to share knowledge and experiences that have up till now been kept closely guarded in my heart. To be honest, I'm weary of keeping secrets ^^... even more than that, though, is the distinct feeling that we won't get anywhere until we start to reveal those experiences and feelings that have always felt so personal and so intrinsic to our inner being. Now is the time of sharing. I think this is also related to the feeling of "now is the time of gathering" that so many of us are feeling. We won't get anywhere unless we are open completely.

The singing you heard seems to be exactly the same, yea. I'm glad to hear that you've had the same experience there. The thing is very much helpful there is some validation that my event is not individual to me. If I know that others have experienced any of what I feel, then I know I'm onto something that I can pursue more info on. ^^

Similarly I'm glad to hear that you've heard it too, Ishtahar. I actually have some experience with an incarnate/discarnate being who seems to be my soulmate in those ways... at the very least we seem to be romantically linked in this life... it's not him. I guess the best way of describing it would be as a voice that sounds like what I would sound like if I was blended with pure essence of the Source. It takes over my body, like channeling things does to some people, and it's kind of "loud" in my head, like I have to listen to it, and only it. I don't think it's particular to me (this exact entity) because when I've spoken aloud with its voice to friends they have this reaction that is almost like quiet awe... or what I feel like in my head, they look like as I speak. It is like they can listen to no other thing than that, and when it's over... I guess it as if I've reached "through the veil" to grab some essence of the people around me with my words, and while they are being held in that way it feels right to them because they know that a part of them remembers, too. Does that makes sense? That was a very long and worded explanation unsure.gif The other reason is because once, while speaking to another friend over IM about psychic experiences she was starting to have, the Other suddenly came through her - she wrote something that seemed to me to be profoundly true, immediately afterwards started crying because she said "that wasn't her, but something else" and that part of myself wrote back to saying that she should not be afraid, "because it was only the Other." Does that make sense? = \ It's a confusing affair to put into words, overall.

Hope, the way that you describe that nerve is *exactly* it. I sort of feel like I would "not survive" the process of looking into infinity. You say that reality comes completely apart and that you can never experince life the same way again... How did you get through it, yourself, then? I'd love some advice.

That said, it could be that that's what he (the Other is mostly masculine in my mind... or at least has a pretty deep voice) meant... or it could be that there's more to it that I haven't discovered yet... but thanks, all, for your input.


--------------------
Dancing under the Moon's light, arms stretched wide, dancing in the garden, talking to the stars, dancing with the Earth, our Mother, singing with the Moon, my Mother, and laughing


From Hope 19 Oct 2007:

dreamsend, i don't know how to help you... i just never gave up... it took me and i just fought with it in my head... you have to open up to your surroundings and connect with everything, i don't think one mind can do it alone. after a while it just clicked... for a brief moment i saw everything at once. i can never go back to that moment and i can never go back to before that moment... i cant perceive the existence of matter... it's strange... what before you thought was impossible since it cant be pictured in your mind becomes the possible and the simple becomes the impossible... i feel claustrophobic that im stuck on earth... in this galaxy...


From Azaz'el 19 Oct 2007:

I can, in my own way, understand what is being said here. I also know just how difficult it can be to describe that complete sense of union with and connection to every single living and perhaps non living thing in the entire universe. to be a part of everything, and fpr everything to be a part of you, makes you feel sooooo big that the universe is too small. So trying to get back to that acceptance of living in a body, a small shell of flesh that has so many limitations, can be like living in a prison.

I have touched upon the Source myself, some years ago, when I was beginning to spiritually awaken and at that time had no memories of what or who I was. As I touched it, I expanded to fill the space between the stars, I felt and understood for the first time just how alone I had been and was. And I knew that in order to fully return to the Source at this time, would involved an incredible amount of power and my death. And for just a moment I did consider it.

Since that time I have come to understand, as much as is possible for me right now without menlting my brain, what the Source is. And there have been times my link to it has come through, in the things I have said, the commands I have made. Perhaps one of the ways of working with this, or understanding it, Dreamsend, is to see if it can tell you more about the past, the present or even the future, so that you can know your place in it, perhaps as herald, perhaps as guide.

Az


From Dreamsend 20 Oct 2007:

Hope, that helps a lot. It's nice to know that even though I fight - and I do fight everytime - should I "open up" as the guides I have urge me to, there will probably be something afterwards.

I'll try that, Azazel... I hadn't tried asking it questions about the past or future directly. I know the answers will be cryptic, but if I write everything down, wink.gif , hopefully it'll come together in the end.

Anyone else feel that the War might actually begin in 2008? For the past four years I've had this feeling that by 2008 it would really hit the fan, in the way of life being fairly difficult and unpleasant.
I'm just curious about what other people might think.


--A.


From Ishtahar 20 Oct 2007:

Wow it's nice to know there are others out there who have experienced what I have and that I am not completely loopy after all....well at least that there are other lunatics in the asylum.

I also have had the experience of another speaking through me. I have always felt that there were two of us inhabiting this body, one who knows and one who doesnt. The one who knows is getting more and more acitve and the one who doesnt will eventually fade away.

I have found my moments of connection very very unpleasant, not least because I have refused to believe they were happening...if you know what I mean.

There are times when I have great difficulty in beleiving that any of this is real...I am just playing at it, pretending, role playing, whatever. Sometimes when things get to heavy it is almost a comfort not to believe.

However as time goes by my belief grows and I can no longer deny, no longer take reguge in the possibility that I could ever walk away from this game because this game is no game at all.

Recently thins have been falling into place with greater and greater speed and clarity. It feels like we are on a steam roller that cannot stop until it get......where?

As for when the war will begin....I think it has already begun. As the Fallen are awakening so too are our enemies becoming active again. The gates are being breached all over and the old enemy is beginning to, if not come through then at least to get their energies through enough to affect and control those on this side.

We need to find each other as soon as we can and to awaken to what we truly are..and soon


From Azaz'el 20 Oct 2007:

QUOTE (Dreamsend @ Oct 20 2007, 05:41 AM)
"Anyone else feel that the War might actually begin in 2008? For the past four years I've had this feeling that by 2008 it would really hit the fan, in the way of life being fairly difficult and unpleasant."

You're not the only one who has been thinking this. There seems to be gathering suspicion that during 2008 and 2009 a lot of unpleasant things will hit the fan, all of it leading to or even helping to bring about the war in 2012. It certainly feels to many of us that this next year coming will be the start of all the trials we have to face.

My hope is that all the Fallen will soon awaken to who they are and also feel the need to search for each other and join together once more. I'm lonely for my brothers and also want all the Kin who stand with me, with us, to see what we can achieve and finally know the truth about us.

Az



From Naamah-Nimmah-Chawat 30 Nov 2007:

Time is short indeed I tend to get nervous and almost in panic over this.
Dreamsend it seems that it is your higher self speaking to you and that is "above" fallen and it is beings that are very difficult to understand. They have no human or demonic feelings or behaviour, I know that many demons/fallen ones have been cursed with not knowing love. Your higher self is within to help you.

Azazel, is this your site? If not, you are the third Azazel/Belial I have come across. However I have noticed that many of the morning stars sons have in the beginning confused themselves with their Father. For me and my higher self it was the other way around, I feel more "real" than she does somehow. Often she hovers in space while speaking through me.
Women also tend to get to know themselves first through her, I have tried to get to know her better lately. She is more loving and wise than I am, it's like I'm the "black sheep" compared to her.

http://kondor.de/simurgh/english/shemyazae.html

I am confused and all energy almost makes me sick to my guts just like when my love is around. It seems we are "multiple" in ways that will probably take a long time to comprehend. Someone called us/him/me schizophrenic and I am not sure how to handle this information right now.....Thought the identity crisis was over more or less.


From Azaz'el 30 Nov 2007:

Naamah, this site is owned and ran by both myself and Ishtahar. We have known each other for many years now and have gone through many stages of our awakening together. As time has passed, and memoreis have surfaced and the Shadow have made themselves known, we have remembered.

It was earlier this year when another series of memories hit us both hard that we decided that we needed to start the website, and later this forum. Ishtahar and I live many hundreds of miles apart yet we keep in close contact as we both know the importance of reuniting the Fallen and Kin. And we run the site and pay for it from our own money, we don't get paid to do this. It is all because we know the importance of what we are trying to do.

I have to say that sadly it doesn't surprise me that I am the third person who you have met who calls themself Azaz'el. It is a name that conjours up many different images for people and over the centuries much has been written and supposed about the person who was Azaz'el. It is very likely that the name could have been used by many, and that many were called that name.

For myself, it was my name back when I was Shadow and I became one of the Fallen. I was a member of the batallion of Grigori that faught in the War and who eventually ended up in Kharsag. I was the one who stood with Semyaza, who taught humanity many skills and who was murdered by my own bretheren because of this. I cannot speak for the others you have come into contact with, but for myself, I am Grigori. Some have taken the name and used it as a title to represent evil, some have take the name to feed their ego. I find that a burden.

I have no known link to the Morning Star other than he was also Shadow and so one of my bretheren. We are both Shadow, but I was not with him when he agreed to his convenant. I have not seen him for a very long time and know not if I will ever see him again. At the moment it is more important for me to find my brothers, especially Dani'el.

Az


From Ishtahar 1 Dec 2007:

It is possible that Azaz'el was a name much like any other which belonged to more than one person. How many John's are there now, for example.

As for being schytzophrenic Naamah, that is something I am not qualified to diagnose but what I can say is that if being aware and in contact with other beings within the same physical body or of being close to non corporeal beings whom you talk to and even love is being schytzophrenic then we probably all are.

I can second what Az has said about this site. We felt very driven to start it and it was not something which has been easy. We have been hiding from the world for so long that it was a tremendously difficult decision to put ourselves out there, expose ourselves so to speak and open ourselves up to attack ridcule whatever.

We did not do this for kicks or as any kind of ego boost. We do not claim to have all the answers or even to know half of the questions. We just wanted to make a start, to do SOMETHING because we felt driven to it and would have known no peace until we had done so.

We make no claims for ourselves, expect no thanks or reward. We will not justify ourselves or seek to prove anything. We are who we are, that's the bottom line


From Naamah-Ninmah-Chawat 1 Dec 2007:

Thanks again, you are so right and it encourages me a lot that you are so keen on supporting your brothers and sisters the way you do. Indeed there are many that want to call themselves a name while being someting other than they show, especially online. A good example is "satanic vampires" who are angels and are out to discredit us as much as they can. I can not make that judgement of identity for others, only myself so it's a good point. We are who we are and the most important thing is to recognize it to oneself. As I have stated my name is not important as I have many and I normally use less known ones not to draw attention in this world. The ones that know and feel me astrally know where I come from. I will look into this with Dani'el brother there might be things to find out.

/Naamah


From Azaz'el 1 Dec 2007:

I'm pleased you feel encouranged Naamah, as it means that the integrity we feel for this site and the task we have set ourselves is coming through in what is written. It is so easy to write something and not know if it makes sense and gets across the sincerity and importance that is felt.

There are far too many out there who claim to be something they are not, and I have unfortunately crossed swords, so to speak, with some of them. I make no great claim to have answers, to have understanding, to be anything other than I am now .... one of the Fallen whose memory is fragmented and am trying to put it back together and prepare for some conflict I feel is coming. But as I've said on here before, I know and accept that it will take some time for members to get to know me and Ish and from that sense our sincerity and the importance we place on this site and the task at hand.

Up until recently I also used anorther of my names as I didn't feel it was time to stand up and face the world using this name once more. But earlier this year it was made known to me that the time was now. And so I reclaim who and what I was openly, and also face the consequences of that. But I am fortunate in the friends I have standing with me, from the past and now from the bonds forming on this site with other members. As with yourself, I feel that those who take the time to look to me astrally will know my energy, my taste, my signature and know me for who I have been, who I am.

Any help you can offer with understanding where Dani'el is on his awakening would be helpful. I have been told that geographically he is very close.....

Az


From Dreamsend 1 Dec 2007:

Naamah, I see how that could be. I'll leave myself open to any possibility on this... they are hard to understand, I agree.

Also, I love the websites you have shared - this one was very informative, and even got me thinking a bit too hard last night laugh.gif headaches. it's fascinating how sightings of "winged serpents"/dragons and flying disks/chariots of fire are almost worldwide. I'll do a post on the Brotherhood of the Snake as Azazel suggested, maybe to address some of those.