I'm sorry for being late to the party, I've been out of the loop for a while, but I'm back.
Az is dead right. No one can tell you who or what you are, honey. It all comes from your heart. The only rule is that it feels right to you. When you find out information about your true self, it's more than an intellectual feeling of 'rightness' or 'familiarity' which is just knowing you're on the right track. When you find something that truly fits it sends shivers down your spine and kicks you in the gut. You KNOW it's true and you really don't need any more affirmation than that - not from anyone.