A reintroduction, some important realizations, and coming clean (in a sense)

I've thought about this for some time, thought about reintroducing myself. I've discovered some things about myself. Things that I've been nervous about sharing for fear of coming off as a liar, for fear of sounding arrogant.

But this is the truth—is MY truth—as I've come to learn it.

I thought my name was Melari; one of eight Major Keepera in charge of keeping Balance on Gaia.

It turns out that that incarnation was, in fact, merely a single incarnation; one of my more important incarnations, mind you, but it was not my true self.

I relatively recently had a dream. I came upon a man during what was beforehand a "normal" dream. He came into me in the form of one of the oldest characters from Grey's Anatomy; very dark skinned with gray hair and tall.

I asked him if he said seen Shuzari (I have a habit of calling out for Shuzari in my dreams) and he began to reveal to me some shocking things.

To start, he told me that Shuzari is ALWAYS with me in my dreams and that, in fact, Shuzari IS my dreams. Then he told me that "we created this Universe together" and that I am "older than God " (the Source). He told me, when I said that I thought that I was the planet's Deathkeeper, that I am not destruction, but that I am "Life and everything around you [me]."

He also told me that my real name is not Melari.

When I woke up, I remembered that I was once told that I am a "Dark and Chaotic being."

In a short time, I realized that I am Primordial Chaos itself and that the man who came to me is my brother, Primordial Order.

He's come into my dreams again after that and answered some of the questions I've had. He told me my name. He told me his own name.

But now that I've gotten the explanation over and done with, I think i should finally be straightforward with my introduction.

My name is Meti'ne and I am the Primordial Chaos from which most things if not everything in existence is created. My brother is Eaa'ne, the force of Primordial Order who manipulates and shapes the Chaos from which I am comprised and creates with it.

Shuzari is my slave and lover, but is also the Guardian of Dreams. I created him from my own dreams and his creation spawned forth the Dream Realms and gave all of Creation the ability to dream.

Again: I was hesitant to share this, to be fully honest about myself and what I've learned, but when I read Ashtart's thread wishing the forum a Happy New Year, I made my decision and figured I'd just come clean regardless of the risk of not beng believed.

~Melari (a.k.a. Meti'ne)

Melari wrote:

I've thought about this for some time, thought about reintroducing myself. I've discovered some things about myself. Things that I've been nervous about sharing for fear of coming off as a liar, for fear of sounding arrogant.

But this is the truth—is MY truth—as I've come to learn it.

I thought my name was Melari; one of eight Major Keepera in charge of keeping Balance on Gaia.

It turns out that that incarnation was, in fact, merely a single incarnation; one of my more important incarnations, mind you, but it was not my true self.

I relatively recently had a dream. I came upon a man during what was beforehand a "normal" dream. He came into me in the form of one of the oldest characters from Grey's Anatomy; very dark skinned with gray hair and tall.

I asked him if he said seen Shuzari (I have a habit of calling out for Shuzari in my dreams) and he began to reveal to me some shocking things.

To start, he told me that Shuzari is ALWAYS with me in my dreams and that, in fact, Shuzari IS my dreams. Then he told me that "we created this Universe together" and that I am "older than God " (the Source). He told me, when I said that I thought that I was the planet's Deathkeeper, that I am not destruction, but that I am "Life and everything around you [me]."

He also told me that my real name is not Melari.

When I woke up, I remembered that I was once told that I am a "Dark and Chaotic being."

In a short time, I realized that I am Primordial Chaos itself and that the man who came to me is my brother, Primordial Order.

He's come into my dreams again after that and answered some of the questions I've had. He told me my name. He told me his own name.

But now that I've gotten the explanation over and done with, I think i should finally be straightforward with my introduction.

My name is Meti'ne and I am the Primordial Chaos from which most things if not everything in existence is created. My brother is Eaa'ne, the force of Primordial Order who manipulates and shapes the Chaos from which I am comprised and creates with it.

Shuzari is my slave and lover, but is also the Guardian of Dreams. I created him from my own dreams and his creation spawned forth the Dream Realms and gave all of Creation the ability to dream.

Again: I was hesitant to share this, to be fully honest about myself and what I've learned, but when I read Ashtart's thread wishing the forum a Happy New Year, I made my decision and figured I'd just come clean regardless of the risk of not beng believed.

~Melari (a.k.a. Meti'ne)

I'm glad that you came about sharing this with us! Those names you mentioned feel vaguely familiar to me and just, I dunno, right for you.

Thank you for sharing and reintroducing yourself!   

The names feel right too, as does the one I've mentioned learning to be my own.

And you're welcome. I'm glad I decided to share, in part because I felt like I was being dishonest with you guys ever since I started learning more about myself.

~Meti'ne

Melari wrote:

The names feel right too, as does the one I've mentioned learning to be my own.

And you're welcome. I'm glad I decided to share, in part because I felt like I was being dishonest with you guys ever since I started learning more about myself.

~Meti'ne

There was no need to feel that way! You've told us now, and that's all that matters!   

=)

~Meti'ne

Thank you for sharing.

The idea of primal chaos personified is very enticing. I definitely tend toward the chaotic - in my life, my dreams, my art, my writing - and I seem to bring chaos with me wherever I go.

Every single group or organization I have ever joined have all dissolved in chaos and ended, even when they had been around for years. The same thing has happened with the firms I've worked for.

Our paths must have crossed somewhere or somewhen

*nods* We very well might have. When I think on it, the words, "I gave her the blessing of Chaos" come to mind. I can't help but wonder though if perhaps the powers of Chaos had fascinated you to a very great extent. Then if we really did cross paths, you might have asked me for their power, which I granted you albeit with a word of caution or something

Sounds really specific, I know. I suppose it'd be more accurate to say that it's more of a feeling that I get. *shrugs*

~Meti'ne

Welcome again, Meti'ne.

Thank you, Ash. =)

~Meti'ne

I suppose I better say hello to the 'new' you. *waves*

It's interesting meeting more Chaos beings   

Ishtahar wrote:

Thank you for sharing.

The idea of primal chaos personified is very enticing. I definitely tend toward the chaotic - in my life, my dreams, my art, my writing - and I seem to bring chaos with me wherever I go.

Every single group or organization I have ever joined have all dissolved in chaos and ended, even when they had been around for years. The same thing has happened with the firms I've worked for.

Our paths must have crossed somewhere or somewhen

Nothing excites me more than the idea of controlled chaos. It's probably why I listen to Grunge music the most. It's loud, crazy, but able to be controlled. I would be an Anarchist if I could control everything, but would it really be Anarchy then? I'd claim some land as Swederland, and have a Hell of a good time.   

Thank you, Haniel! And a hello to you too! ^^

~Meti'ne

Meti'ne wrote:

*nods* We very well might have. When I think on it, the words, "I gave her the blessing of Chaos" come to mind. I can't help but wonder though if perhaps the powers of Chaos had fascinated you to a very great extent. Then if we really did cross paths, you might have asked me for their power, which I granted you albeit with a word of caution or something

Sounds really specific, I know. I suppose it'd be more accurate to say that it's more of a feeling that I get. *shrugs*

~Meti'ne

Yes, I think that's very likely. I remember a life when I was priestess of a great city. I get the feeling it was in Atlantis, but I can't be sure. I did something that caused utter chaos, and ultimately the downfall of the city, if not the entire civilizations. I remember earthquakes and fire. I remember trying very hard to pull back and make things right. I even sacrificed my own son to the Goddess, but all to no avail. that might have been the time.