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Join date : 2010-02-05

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PostSubject: ARCHIVE: Samhuinn Memories   ARCHIVE: Samhuinn Memories EmptySun Jun 13, 2010 4:08 am

By Azaz'el Nov 4 2007 -

I thought that it was time to let you know a little of what happened to me during the Samhuinn period. As you may remember from some of my posts, I was sure that this festival, bringing a change in energy and awareness, would take us all to the point of having to accept who and what we are.

That happened, and any doubt or uncertainty that remained within me evapourated. There was a very deep sense of knowing and acceptance, and I have no doubts at all now. But there was more, memories of not only my life but also my death came back to me. I will expand upon this in the coming weeks when I add more information to the Website. But I will add a little of it here now.

The Shadow objected to any intimacy with Humanity at all.... this wasn't just in a sexual or relationship way, but also as friends or allies. They tried to stamp out all affection and links the Grigori had, reminding us that we were there only as guides and teachers, not friends. When this sharp reminder failed, they tried to set an example and carried out their first attempt at exile - they exiled me. I was beaten, cut, and cast out in the belief that I would die, and so take away the sins of our race. They also hoped that my death would scare the rest into submission and acceptance.

I surprised them all by living and returning. My return was heralded as a sign from the gods, from the Source, showing their wisdom. I came back filled with pain and anger, but lived a double life for a while. Openly I followed the rules, but in secret I continued my relationships and friendships with humans. Over time this reawakened the feelings and desires in my fellow Grigori who then began their relations again.

Thsi is when they tried to take stronger action and exiled our leader, Shem, again expecting him to die. When he returned with an army, they ran scared and retreated to the inner core of the city where they summoned their greatest warriors and received help from the other ranks of Shadow.

We didn't stand a chance, but we had to try, hoping that a show of force would be enough to show them we believed deeply in what we were doing. They rounded us up, killed our sons and daughters, killed our Human friends and alies. Then they started on us, the 200 Grigori forming our batallion who were posted to guide and guard and who fell for the innocence of Humanity. They chained us, they beat us, they held us up an an example of their gracious laws. I was forced to watch my friend and lover die in fire, as they bound his soul to the earth.

The final two to die were Shem and I. He was made to watch my death - I was chained, tortured, flayed, burnt with embers and flammable liquid. Then I was burnt at the stake as my soul was bound into the earth on a distant island. I was banished and exiled.

I realise that this may be painful for some to read, and others may wonder what the point is of writing this. Well, I am posting this so that some can remember, and some can know. It's important to remember the ending of the life we once had. I suppose I also just feel the need to share this so that the story can finally be known .... another hope that as this is read, some may remember and join with us.


By Ishtahar Nov 6 2007 -

That must have been hard for you to write. I know when we spoke of it that it was hard for you to tell just me, to make it public here must have been something of a torture for you. Thank you for sharing this.

I have to say that my Samhuinn was a little of an anti climax. I dont know what i was expecting but it was all very quiet.

It may be that I have already gone through my epiphany. This whole last year has been a time of death for me. I have lost family and friends and I have remembered those who have died at my hands over the generations....Az was one of them.

I have cried into the night time after time, I have been tortured by images of death and dispair so maybe I have already done my part for this time, paid my price for the memories which have come.
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