Fae, names, websites, etc.

Hokay... there's a bunch of different topics I'm about to touch on ;;;

1. "Underwater People??"

I mentioned in a different topic that I'd met a gentleman recently who seems to share memories with me about my time here in the Hawaii region. In his memories, he says that I was a priestess/goddess that spent a lot of time with him and got most of my "power" from water. I would chant (traditional Hawaiian chants) while I stood under waterfalls and was fair skinned with long dark brown hair. He said that I gave my memories to him before I left the people/humans to return to my people, that he felt like he "failed me" somehow then and then I left the surface.

Some of what he said to me eerily matched some visions I'd had. In one, around when I was still living on the mainland (East Coast US) I went into trance and took an out of body trip to Hawaii's shores. I stood on the edge of a cliff facing the water, then started to climb down the cliff and then into the water, and continued climbing into the water, down to the ocean floor. When I got to the bottom of the ocean, I turned and there was a city in front of me, full of blue people. The city was covered by what looked like transparent glass. I entered the city and then all these people came up and flocked around me and welcomed me "home" and put robes and things on me, and I felt that they had dressed me up as a priestess.

In another vision, I was trying to do a past/present/future meditation and found myself out of body sitting on a beach again - then blue transparentish people started walking up onto the shore out of the water and formed a circle around me and started chanting. I had the feeling that they were helping me to do the work somehow.

Also, the man I met remembered me having a blue jewel with a sparkling chain, and I did a meditation to my ancestors just before that where a child spirit ran up to me and gave me a giftwrapped square box that had a blue sapphire on a diamond chain inside. So, interesting stuff. The thing that is messing with me is that I know I have a connection to the Hawaii region - why I was drawn back here, and why the spirits seem so fiercely possessive of me when I interact with them - and enough of what we talked about makes sense that I'm considering some existence that I lived underwater.


2. Fae, and names

I'm ready to own my "identity." I only feel it matches me because of the immense sorrow and "not wanting to go there" that I feel, and because the Fae are being terribly persistent. Before I awakened as Sidhe, it was them who were coming to me, nudging and pestering in a "return to who you were" sense. They would come on the edges of my perception bugging me often. "Stop pretending, come back, remember who you are, stop trying to be human, start being one of us, now!!" sorts of things.

I'm starting to understand more about myself and being comfortable with it.. all the same, it took some messing with my mail - on their part - to get my attention again ;;;;. I had a couple of packages that were ridiculously late, so much I thought they were lost or stolen, and at my wit's end I did a little "find this thing" magick, and get a very... mischievous message from a couple of Fae that I wouldn't get my stuff until I acknowledged that I was one of them. Really. I told them I would. The next day I got one of the packages. The day after I got the other ;;;;

I've felt a couple of times (or rather, been told, by her) that Morrigan is a sister of mine. She sends me messages (through ravens usually, and sometimes just before I fall asleep) and comes to visit me... then it seemed like she wanted me to visit her, so I did and she ran up to me and squealed "Sister!!"

I made a post in the old forum a ways back that I was hearing these messages "Princess of Daisies" "Queen of Lilies." It was suggested that those names could be for Maeve (or, as I would spell it, Medb), a Fae Queen. I was hearing those two longer titles as belonging to me. I would hear "you are Princess of Daisies" or "Queen of Lilies." (This was a while after I was hearing that I was a daughter of Solomon, I have no idea what that means though). I considered that Medb is my name and it filled me with... incredible sadness. Like heartbreaking, wrenching sadness. I felt or KNEW that it was right, and it hurt even more feeling that... like I couldn't escape anymore. And then they started calling me by that name. "Medb, Medb!" I don't remember that time yet, but I think that was my name, or one of them at least, and a few of my title(s).

I feel like I have to not keep this inside anymore partially because I feel like others are counting on me to do so. I saw just before I wrote this an image of myself seating myself back at a round table from which I had earlier "excused" myself, made of many different grey stones plastered together, and with other beings seated around. Seven or eight "people"... and that I was joining them again in a serious undertaking of some kind.

3. Return of magic?

I know I've said lots already. I wanted to also share a website that I stumbled upon. Since they revealed that they were messing with me in the real world (*stern look*), and I accepted that I'm done pretending to be other than one of them, I started doing meditations to try to align my energy with Faery ... I started the other day speaking in a different language and wondered if it was a fairy language. I did a web search and the very first website was for a woman who feels she is able to communicate with those in the other realms too. I felt like, if not the strict details, the energy of what she was saying strongly correlated with my own feelings. She writes too of magic being missing, and her channeled languages are familiar to me. I don't think all is strictly accurate, but it's close. It may be of interest to others from Faery.

A couple of her pages super-vibed with me: "why we can't see fairies" and The fairy song: 'Arlu Praveesh Parhem'

In regards to 2 - I'm glad you've decided to share this with everyone

1 - Cool! Not sure what else to say about it though.

3 - Interesting. Certain parts in the "Why can't we see fairies" page struck me. And the words to that song (although something in me told me I shouldn't read through the whole thing) made me excited and start saying things in a language that sounds very similar.

As far as the underwater people, i've heard something like that before, though i wasn't entirely sure whether or not the source was credible. if you've ever seen M. Night Shyamalan's "Lady in the Water", then you probably know what i mean when i say that. if not, then i'll give ya the rundown; in this story, a woman, a kind of faerie, i'm guessing, is sent to the human world above the waves, to "inspire" a person who will shape the course of history. the plot itself isn't really relevant, it just focuses on the completion of that goal. however, in order to get more information about this mysterious girl, he starts poking around, and one of his tenants (an older chinese woman) happens to know of a tale with similarities, told to her by her own mother when she was a child.

keeping in mind that this is a screenplay, and thus, a work of fiction, i can't say for certain whether or not the tale described in the movie has any basis in actual lore; i tried researching it, but all i got was a bit about some connection to Greek Naiads or oceanids.

but on the naming thing, yay! congrats, i'm glad to hear that things have started going so well for you! it's strange though, how all of these things keep falling into place, this coming from someone who doesn't often believe in predestined events. ^^;;

anywho, that's my two cents. hope it helps

Ellysium wrote:

And the words to that song (although something in me told me I shouldn't read through the whole thing) made me excited and start saying things in a language that sounds very similar.

Cool Yeah... I found that a lot of the things she's written correlate in some way with what I already feel. It's interesting that you felt some connection.

Razi'el wrote:

on the naming thing, yay! congrats, i'm glad to hear that things have started going so well for you!

Thanks I'm glad too... it's like all this pressure had been building up and threatening to smush me if I didn't give in, so I thought I might as well just give in, finally.

Thanks for the tip, it's more than I have to go on right now, so I think I'll go check out that film

I watched that movie Raz (well, the first half of it... it was kind of terrible ;;; ) and the mythology (from the beginning when they talk about water people aiding the men on land) was familiar. None of the rest of the mythology (from the Chinese woman) was, but I think that was made up.

So.... I've been starting to get confused. Which was expected lol! When I poked around a bit more, looking for information about Faery, I stumbled upon people's descriptions of "the four cities of the Sidhe" (the Tuatha Danaan Sidhe. I don't know why I don't feel like they're the same as my kind, they just aren't) For example: http://web.archive.org/web/20020625145843/www.sundown.pair.com/SundownShores/Volume_VII/dirge.htm .

I then started thinking of doing something like a "vision quest" or a shamanic journey into Faery. I put in "Faerie vision" in google and the first thing I got was a vision quest that involved traveling to these cities. (! coincidence!) I felt strongly that the beings here in the room with me wanted me to do it and that they would guide me so I would be safe. So, I did it, last night.

It was long. I traveled through many places, inside the World Tree, over lands that were familiar and unfamiliar to me, and came to the water city. I felt like I was "home" when I got there, and spent several minutes outside the place just leaning on the walls and feeling sorrow and regret. Then a wizened little woman with wavy dark hair in locks grabbed me from a door and pulled me inside the city. This I felt was Badba... ("aka, Badb? Aka the washer woman at the ford? The original Bean Sidhe?" I wondered). I felt that this was another one of my sisters. Her and Morrigan. I went up stairs... there was a green dragon chilling out in a room, but I wasn't there to talk to him... she led me into a chamber where white robed men sat in a circle around the ceiling and asked me questions.

I don't remember what was said except that before they let me leave they told me that what had happened wasn't my fault and that I had thought I was acting in the interests of my people. And that I didn't need to feel remorseful or sorrowful over things I couldn't control.

I left the chamber and the Badba seemed to be okay with me exploring a bit on my own. I did, and don't really remember what I saw in depth... I went and talked to the dragon again and then I climbed a spiral staircase and ... something else happened. And then I woke up out of it and put my stones away and felt... a lot different. Like I was five years old again, with the expansive mind that I had when I was younger.

When I woke up, I still felt... just out of it. Awake, but not seeing the world around me. I lounged around for a while, with my mind feeling kind of lost somewhere, then after a couple of hours realized that there had been more to the vision and I'd left too early. So I put myself back.

It's hard to describe exactly what happened, it was like sitting in front of a goddess (a greater goddess aspect) and being shown things that made sense. I saw that my sisters were/are Morrigan and Badb and that I eventually stopped being "one of the people" and ascended to become a goddess (a lesser goddess aspect), and that we three were all daughters of the great Goddess, who I want to call Isis, (yeah, the Egyptian Isis. ...yeah, I don't know. ;;; ). I feel connections to her though. I saw myself, with bright red hair and a golden crown talking to another woman my age with long dark hair, and I felt us negotiating about something and then I said something along the lines of "Okay, I'll go." And I woke, and could move again. So I started journaling about all this, and after writing for about 3 hours stopped when I got to the part about Badba and came on the computer because I wasn't sure how I was to spell her name (it sounded like "bagdhba" when I said it). But when I started looking her up I kept coming to these pages about her, the Morrigan and Macha, and how they were three sisters. And the more I read, the more I felt more comfortable with calling myself Macha. Another name. I don't think that's a name the fae in here (in my room, flitting around) can call me, like they're not allowed to. But it feels... more right.

The guide for the vision I went on is here: http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/folklore/19338

Edited to add: Mrr. Ernmas makes more sense (at least on the surface) than Isis... http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O70-Ernmas.html maybe I heard that and confused it for the sound. Before I realized I was Sidhe, I heard that I was "Sheeva" all the time and ended up thinking I was connected to "Shiva" (Indian god) o_o. But I think it was a title: "Sidhe bha"

hey there, sorry about the movie being a bust, it just sounded a bit familiar to me was all ^^;; though i'm glad some good came out of it, i hope that everything you learned, whether you remember it or not, was helpful!

It feels deep and powerful, the name Macha. And to be honest, I even feel a little strange saying or writing it out loud, like it's not something to be taken lightly, or that it could bring forth, or summon something... sortof. I can't quite find the right words for it. So, I completely understand that the Fae around you aren't supposed to say it. Maybe it's like your inner/true name, and Maeve is more like your outer/common name?

::nods:: That's what it sounds like... =) So maybe I should just go by Maeve, lol

Lol, yeah maybe. But whatever works/feels best for you.