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 ARCHIVE: Are you One of the Fallen

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Join date : 2010-02-05

ARCHIVE: Are you One of the Fallen Empty
PostSubject: ARCHIVE: Are you One of the Fallen   ARCHIVE: Are you One of the Fallen EmptyWed Jun 23, 2010 7:30 pm

By Ishtahar Sep 9 2007 -

We are looking for the Fallen, the 200 shadow who split from their brothers through love of humanity and fought a war for the sake of that love, who were defeated but not broken, who have been imprisoned for eons and who are now awakening.

Could this be you?

Do you have memories from the fall? Did you sit with us beneath the tree? Have you seen the walls of the great city and walked in the gardens of Eden?

Or are you one of the children of the shadow. Kin of some kind - vampyre, were, dragon, fey folk?

Identify yourself for only you can. We will help and support you, we will provide you with such answers as we have and we will stand with you while you find yourself and complete your awakening into our gathering beneath the tree.

By Hope Oct 15 2007 -

i dont know what counts for what... i've always had this strange connection with some sort of higher power. i cant really explain it. for instance whenever im alone stuff just happens conveniently. like when i walk into the lobby the elevator seems to come just at that moment and open for me. or i'd get a very strong sense that something is about to happen and that i should or shouldn't do something. and then there was one time where the entire interior of a building seemed to change overnight, completely different there was no logical way it happened and i was the only person aware of it. i can also tell what people are feeling. and i know this might sound crazy but my mood can effect the winds around me... i was really depressed once and was being pelted by the wind, barely walking and it was like that for 10 minutes, then i walk up to my friends and he says "wow the wind really picked up all of a sudden"

By Ishtahar Oct 15 2007 -

That sounds really interesting Hope. It seems as though you have an exciting, if somewhat exhausting time.

It cant be easy to have so much going on, it seems as if you must feel like you are walking on quicksand much of the time....to have a whole building change appearance..it must be hard to keep perspective sometimes.

Out of curiousity...in what ways did the building change? Was it just the decoration or its entire purpose...and what about the people inside it, did they change or were they just the same and unaware of what had happeend?

Empathy (being able to know what others are feeling or being able to actually feel what others are feeling) seems to be very commong amongs kin, although it is not unique to kin as many humans are empathetic too. It is hard being empathetic. Have you found a way to shield yourself from strong emotions?

And affecting weather is not crazy at all. Some people spend all their lives working on this ability and are able to do amazing things with it. It seems as though you have an inate (that means something you do naturally without having to learn it) ability to effect weather or, at least energy currents. Have you tried doing this deliberately....start small if not, even a tiny change can have a catastrophic effect...remember the butterfly.

It would be great to know more about you.

By Hope Oct 15 2007 -

the building's structure changed, entire walls were moved, curved stone stair cases that seemed many years old replaced the straight metal ones and yes there were different people that occupied the building, but they kept the same names, just looked completely different.

as for empathy, it's not in that sense... people can completely hide their emotions, heck not even say a word to me and just brush by me and i'd still have a very strong sense that i cannot control or shield against.

but as for weather, no i cannot do it deliberately... my state of mind is all i have to connect to it with.

but i did some more reading and... coincidentally... im 6'5", taller than most people in my area

By Azaz'el Oct 16 2007 -

The fact that you seem to have quite strong psychic abilities and seem to be able to read places through time.... added to your height.... do you have any concept what type of Kin you are?

It just seems that what you are describing is close to Nephilim.


By Ishtahar Oct 16 2007 -

I think you may be confusing empathy with sympathy Hope. Empathy does not really have anything to do with what is said, only what is felt. A true empath can not only pick up emotions when they are next to someone but from something which is written, or something that has been touched, or even from a television screen etc. It is an ability to sense subtle energies and is usually something which cannot be controlled, at least initially.

With regard to the building do you think that you may have been 'remembering' it in two different timescapes.

By Hope Oct 16 2007 -

right, i guess that's empathy then.

as for that building thing, its funny you should bring up time... but that sort of stuff happens often, things would change, that was the most major event but more subtle things happen, including things just vanishing, and i mean "poof" its gone by the time i blink or turn around. but about time, it's something that slows down or speeds up before these things happen... today it happened pretty bad (i didn't notice any change), i saw something i threw fall at snails pace to the ground the phone was ringing very slowly but the pitch didn't change, the TV almost seemed to freeze, but outside everything was normal.

i dont know exactly what i am... a few more things are... when im in an intense situation, my subconscious brings all these abilities forth that normally i cant replicate. i got into a fight a while ago and despite having no experience to my knowledge, put my rival on th ground effortlessly through a complicated move i can barely remember, and it happens for different things, be it almost falling, or nearly getting hit by something. as well i have crystals in my eyes that no doctor has ever heard of naturally happening before and you can see them against my iris, which is deformed due to it.

By Hope Oct 17 2007 -

i read a bit about Nephilims and i don't think it describes me too well... i never meant anyone harm and i have this, i guess love, for everyone... it hurts me to see anyone in trouble. that's not to say i dont do any harm to people... just afterwards i tear myself apart with regret.

By Ishtahar Oct 17 2007 -

Wow, that it quite intense. It must be hard to live a 'normal' life, althought he stress triggered abilities sound useful.

If you believe that Nephilim are bad and deal only death and destruction you have not been reading the right information. I will leave it to Az to give you more on that one as it is his family and not mine.

By Hope Oct 17 2007 -

alright then...

but something came up and i find myself overwhelmed. i met this girl a while ago and she was everything i ever wanted and she understood me so well and she'd make me forget about everything in life when we're together. just one burden she kept on me i suppose is that she doesn't like people to know we're together and in public she just doesn't want us to be together. i accepted that but today it slipped my mind and i pissed her off and then despite all my better judgment and gut feeling and everything that i have to guide me, i listened to my heart and called her to to try and lift her spirits and i knew she'd be pissed that i called so i just got to the point and decided not to try anything since i couldn't help, and to really pile it high i forgot to say goodbye... i feel so...

i really wish i knew what to do, apologizing to her next time i see her would mean doing what pissed her off in the first place.

By Ishtahar Oct 18 2007 -

Have you thought of writing to her. Nothing fancy just a short note telling her exactly what you want her to know. You can take time over it so that you are sure that it says exactly what you mean and want her to know and she will be able to keep it or throw it away once she has read it.

just a thought...but why would she not want anyone to know you are together? If she is not prepared to be open and honest not just with you but with the world out there then is she really the right one to be in a relationship with in the first place.

By Azaz'el Oct 18 2007 -

I can understand what you say about the relationship, Ish, but there are times when you have to remember that the world isn't as open and enlightened as you are. It may be a case that the girl would be happy to be open about their relationship .... if the world would or could accept. Perhaps the world, or the community or family etc just isn't ready yet and so being private, or even secret about it, is the best option. At least until it is the right time.

Hope, being in a relationship can be an amazing thing, as you know, and at times you forget yourself and all of the rules and regulations and just go for it - and that's when the problems can start!!! I know, I have been there. Don't pour guilt on yourself for forgetting how she wants it to be, just explain to her that she makes you feel so good that at times you forget. Besides which, you have feelings too and a right to say how you want it. But if your society or community could make life difficult for you if you were too open, then unfortunately, just for now, you may have to be held back. I don't condone this, but I have suffered from the backlash of society, so would do anything to save you that pain.

The world will be ready for us all one day soon.... we just have to have the patience whilst we teach them.

Just to add one other thing - Ish is right about the nephilim. Don't believe everything you may read or hear. They were angry and hurt and they did rebel. But we all did back then. If you are born into the world but the world tells you that you should be different, should be normal, should be like everyone else, then you do eventually reach the point of screaming and fighting back. That's all they did. And those of us around at that time didn't really show them a better way to behave. The joy of hindsight and regret!


By Hope Oct 18 2007 -

Az ur right, however i would never force my belief on others or let their beliefs b forced upon me. i think if it were to happen again i would not rebel and i would not give in... i would stand tall and take the blows, i would not fight back i would not run i would not give up.

as for the girl... i sent a message. she avoided me all day today, i knew she was there i could feel it but i did not dare turn around and say hi or try and talk to her... see her i did not. however i never really told her how she makes me feel, i fear she may not share my lust.

coincidently... after i called her last night... a fog rolled in that was not predicted and it's been blotting out the sun all day, and the moon last night.

By Ishtahar Oct 18 2007 -

Just a thought....have you tried working it the other way.

If a fog blots out the sun when you are unappy have you tried to deliberately creating a clear sunny day to see how it maks you feel.

Point taken Az, you would think I would have stopped being Polyanna by now *sigh*

By Dreamsend Oct 18 2007 -

On some of the earlier things that were said in this thread, (gathering thoughts again),

I agree with Ishtahar about Empathy and Weather Working. I found at adolescence (when the pieces started to come together in regards to the paranormal and magik for me) that Weather Working came quite naturally to me too. I could summon breezes at will, clouds, stop wind, etc. I didn't follow through on developing that part of myself because I have this thing wherein I don't want to work with powers I don't understand (crazy afraid of causing disasters).

I have always been a strong Empath, psychically speaking, too.

On the development of sudden skills and abilities when you are under duress, I've heard of shamanic persons having that same skill. I've met one other person in life so far who has been in a fight and found that without any martial training they floored somebody with an elaborate set of moves. I've felt that sort of thing would happen to me, too, but I haven't really been in a fight to test it. It probably wouldn't (too afraid of the unknown in me to bring it out).

-- A.

By Azaz'el Oct 19 2007 -

You say you didn't develop your weather abilities as you didn't want to start working with powers you don't understand. Perhaps the way to look at it is that you could not have had any influence on anything you didn't understand. So even though you 'think' you don't understand the weather, you probably do.

Look at it this way. Many of the traditional magical and spiritual paths, including the native British traditions, state that each of the 5 elements represents an espect of yourself. So, the earth represents your strength, your stamina and confidence. Water represents your emotions. Wind and air represent the logical side to your nature and to thought. And fire is your passion, for life, for love, for living.

So, a foggy day that stops you from being able to see clearly can perhaps be seen as your emotions are so strong over something in your life that you can't see clearly, can't see a way forward, that you feel stuck. A rainy day is perhaps a way of understanding that you are being drowned by your emotions. A windy day shows that you're stuck in left hand brain, too logical and masculine and clear thinking. When it's too hot and dry then your passions are ruling your life and need to be balanced with emotion. You get the idea!

Or this could be totally wrong and not fit for you at all!!! wink.gif

Something to think about at least!


By Dreamsend Oct 20 2007 -

Thanks for the reassurance ... I'll think about doing that sort of stuff again... someday XD

I've always been a very cautious person by nature. I add too little spices to the pot instead of too much. I push too gently instead of risking too hard, and I take small steps I can predict instead of big ones into the known unknown *lol.* I guess I can't really see what use weather working would have for me... the weather does it's thing. Similarly I used to do (ritual) magik but stopped... I prefer to let the world work with me in achieving what's best for me. And in the end, that's also what it comes down to... I can't assume such great responsibility as taking over the weather, for however small a time. *shrugs*

-- A

By EaruArulay Jul 13 2008 -

Sorry to resurrect an old topic but I feel that this one is important.
When you speak of weather control, I remember this time when I was 5 and just came to Canada. I was walking with my mom, the day was cloudy and cold and it begun to rain.
I felt that I could stop it, so I started singing to myself "Rain Rain Go Away Come again another Day" over and over again and it did not rain. Then I stopped singing it and it began to rain.. my mother was both excited and confused as to how it happened. She called it a miracle and that god helped us.
I remember feeling, believing and knowing that I will stop the rain and I did, luckily I stopped singing when we got near our house =)
My memories of the old times are sometimes faint and sometimes too vivid to imagine, I remember the role that I played in our downfall was pivotal. I gave very important knowledge to humans, and I paid for it very dearly. My son and my wife died, and I was broken and hurt so deeply that the wounds still can be felt to this day.
My height was about 6'4", my wife she had dark hair and I was blond. I remember being something like a magician.. My role was to educate and to maintain the Earth's energies and keep them in a pristine state.
I remember the last few days of my life, I looked into my partners blue eyes and we made love for the last time. I had command over a small temple complex on top of a plateau.. there were pillars and obelisks and a beautiful palace where we all resided. All of the building blocks were very white and everything was decorated with many colors and there were trees, flowers and a large ceremonial pool.
I do not remember how it ended or what happened/what I did to make it end, it is still something that eludes me.
I feel a strong connection to Lucifer/Shemyaza.

By Ishtahar Jul 13 2008 -

What are old topics there for but to be ressurected?

It is delightful to meet you and to read your memories.

I, too remember the last days, the small things I did and the last time I lay in the arms of my love.

It was such a cruel thing they did and we committed no crime other than to love.


By Ellysium Jul 13 2008 -

QUOTE (EaruAralay @ Jul 13 2008, 12:23 AM)
"I remember being something like a magician.. My role was to educate and to maintain the Earth's energies and keep them in a pristine state."

For some reason I found that very interesting. Especially the part about working with Earth's energies. Do you remember any more about that?
It made me think of a past life I remembered just a few weeks ago. I was one of those huge dragons that like to live in caves. And it was definitely here on Earth. I remembered that life while talking to a friend about a certain type of magic and I got the feeling that our (that species of dragon) had a type of magic quite different than humans (obviously) and it was very... earthy.. for lack of a better term.

By EaruArulay Jul 15 2008 -

Yes I do remember the knowledge about working with the Earth's energies, although I'm still working out a few blank spots I have much of the picture pieced together.
What I worked with was crystals, feeling energies passing through the Earth and locating those gateways/Vortices. Much of the energy work ties in with electromagnetism, and such knowledge was passed down through various secret societies. It later emerged in Nazi Germany and their programs for similar technologies was moved to the USA. But that is a another chapter, back to the first few.. tongue.gif
The knowledge of dowsing very much relates to the subject, Earth energies have a lot of factors that affect it, but once learned and calculated properly one could determine what energies to find, harness, combine, create, harmonize, etc.

Ellysium I also have that dragon energy within me, it dwells within the water or flies in the air.. It can make me feel restless at times.
The knowledge and gifts that the "dragons" had was not unlike that of the Shadow, but your feeling that it is more earthy would also be quite correct. I think of it as a guardian energy that has dwelt within Gaia's domain from prehistoric times.

By Ishtahar Jul 15 2008 -

That would figure with me as all of the experiences I have had with dragons has been of them guarding something...a gateway, a doorway into another place, a path to the stars......

By EaruArulay Jul 15 2008 -

Ellysium to elaborate upon my post and the work that I done upon the Earth so long ago I'd like to explain the mechanics upon which I based my work from.
The Earth contains an energy grid that is naturally harmonic with sacred geometry (Currently the grids have been deharmonized and distorted by negative thought patterns (It also causes negative thought patterns so it becomes a vicious cycle), also certain governments and organizations have twisted the grids through certain technologies and magic believe it or not.
One of my current tasks in this lifetime is to restore the grids through the old techniques that I worked with.
Anyways the Earth's energy grid contains vortexes that can serve as gateways to other realities/dimensions/universes within the continuum (A creational system made so that universes can exist in a stable manner with each other)
These vortexes now have either temples, corporate buildings, military bases or radio/interference towers upon them.
The vortexes are created by electromagnetic currents coming together at certain points within the magnetic field, and are not unlike the chakras that exist within humans.
The grid of magnetic energy upon the Earth is twisted but in some places it has been restored or remains the same as before. The processes used to restore the grids and maintain them were a high technology that combines crystals, certain metals and magnets along with the power of the mind and spirit in order to create a harmonic pattern within the grid or alter the grid into certain patterns.
Depending on the manner of the pattern, it becomes either harmonic with an ethereal blueprint of the grid or disharmonic with it.
Grid harmony or disharmony is very important because it affects all things that reside within the field. Weather, Continental Movement, Consciousness, Health and many other things are affected by the energies of this field. Interestingly enough, other manners of healing, repairing and maintaining the grids can be used.. such as shamanic drugs and astral travel, tantra and other forms of energetic sex, and perhaps the most important one is unconditional love, if it resides within the consciousness of the entity maintaining the grid it will accelerate the processes explained. This does not just apply to the Earth's energy grid but also to Humans, Animals and everything in the universe.
This all may be a bit tough to digest at first, but it is truly useful knowledge.

By Faddewr Jul 22 2008 -

am I one of the Fallen?

Doubt it.

by Azaz'el Jul 23 2008 -

QUOTE (Faddewr @ Jul 22 2008, 05:06 PM)
"am I one of the Fallen?

Doubt it."

You doubt you are Fallen? How about being SHadow or Kin or anything like that. Do you still believe that you are Kin? Have you had some greater understanding in your knowledge and understanding?


By Faddewr Jul 23 2008 -

QUOTE (Azaz'el @ Jul 23 2008, 12:23 PM)
"QUOTE (Faddewr @ Jul 22 2008, 05:06 PM)
"am I one of the Fallen?

Doubt it."

You doubt you are Fallen? How about being SHadow or Kin or anything like that. Do you still believe that you are Kin? Have you had some greater understanding in your knowledge and understanding?


I doubt I am anything I am not.

I have no wings on my back, or halo on my crown.
I have my shadow at my feet and my four eyes.
I have no idea what I am.

Dead or alive, man or machine, good or evil, and even human and shadow/kin.

It all becomes ambiguous and unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

I could call myself an oni, or a leprechaun, and what soul could challenge me?

I am what I am.
Whatever that might be.

Perhaps it is only for the Source to know.
After all, it put a smile on my face.

By Ishtahar Jul 23 2008 -

You are right, you could call yourself anything you like.

Who could challenge you....only yourself.

Every time you posted or allowed yourself to be considered as the thing whatever it might be you would be lying. You would be untrue to yourself and ultimately damaging yourself, taking something away from you with every lie you made or alllowed to be believed.

You would not grow or reach any deeper understanding of who and what you are. You would not develop only stagnate and slowly diminish.

You paint a bleak picture Fadd.... not knowing who or what you are, not having any hope of finding out.


By Azaz'el Jul 23 2008 -

Names are only labels, and labels only help us to understand where we fit into the grand scheme of the universe. Some find labels too claustrophobic and limiting. Personally, I find the labels and names I know and accept as empowering and liberating. To know who I am, who I was, who I have been and what I am gives me more freedom now in this life than it did in my first ever life. Why? Because I know what it is to be Shadow/Grigori/Malakh, I know what it is to be Human, I know what it is to be both. This has freed me and allowed me to search for a greater uderstanding of the universe.

I hope that whatever name or label you find that fits you Fadd gives you the freedom to understand yourself more and from that, be able to understand the universe and the journey you are walking. Good luck with that journey and I'm pleased a smile was there for you.


By Faddewr Jul 24 2008 -

labels are a funny thing.

If you were buy a can of Brunswick Stew, what else would you expect to find inside but Brunswick Stew?

As empowering as they are, labels are limiting. They are a public display, and more or less an advert to others of what to expect of us.

I am a monster as much as I am a man, and a demon as much as a angel.

Personally nothingness is my preferred label.

People can expect nothing of me, and I can choose to blow them away with my potential.

By Azaz'el Jul 25 2008 -

Both Faddewr and I have different view of the potential or limiting factors of labels..... so what do you rest of you think? Does finding a label that explains who or what you are give you freedom or an expectation of what you have to be?


By Ishtahar Jul 26 2008 -

I think the difference lies between labels we choose for ourselves and those which others impose on us.

I like to be able to choose a label when I need it because it helps others understand me and those who are like me to identify me and come to me.

But I am fluid in my labelling and I dont fit into any label absolutely.

I hate to BE labelled..... as anything and I like to be shocking and unexpected.


By Dreamsend Jul 31 2008 -

I find labels empowering. A name has magick in it when it is True. So do most words ^^. Finding sounds that turn into "words" that express "a shared thought" that I can apply to myself gives me strength and fills me with vigor. The search for these words is delightful, like a romp through a dark forest for bright flowers.

The first day I could definitively say, with a sense of belonging and knowledge, "I am Goth," "I am pansexual," "I am Other(kin)," "I am a Celestial," "I am an Indigo," "I am a Witch," are all days that are firmly etched into my memory with fondness and relief. I have too much "impermanence" in my life, I suppose that a True name is grounding in a sense.

There was also power in claiming labels that I had always passively accepted as for granted. "I am a Woman." "I am Human." "I am a member of ( ) culture." Is also very affirming.

So, as long as it is True, names/labels I think are wonderful things like gifts in language. It is when they are not true whether you have given them to yourself or another that they cause disharmony and discord. "I am Straight" when I am not, "I am a writer," when I am actually a singer, "I am an atheist", when I believe in god/source.

By Ishtahar Jul 31 2008 -

You make excellent points. Especially about the power of True names

By Aislinne Sep 20 2008 -

as I've stated else-where. I'm not sure what I am.

By Azaz'el Sep 20 2008 -

Oneof the hardest things to master, Aislinne, is patience. To know that you are different, not human, but not have a clue as to what you are other than some kind of Otherkin, is so frustrating and annoying. I think many of us have been at that stage at some point in our lives and will be able to empathise with you. But unfortunately, the only person who can understand what and who you were and are, is yourself.

So, patience is the key word.... watch out for the signs, the memories, the things you feel drawn to and feel that are right for you, as you will eventually begin to realise just who and what you are.


By Aislinne Sep 22 2008 -

lol... and I'm the one who's always copped back with "patience is a virtue I do not own." Lol. I'm trying a memory recall spell in the next few days. We'll see if it works.

By Azaz'el Sep 22 2008 -

Good luck and let us know if you get anything that you feel you can or want to share. I just hope it doesn't end up being a case of using a sledge hammer to crack a nut......... sometimes the memories only come through when they are meant to.

But I guess you know that already LOL. rolleyes.gif


By Ishtahar Sep 23 2008 -

A memory recall spell.... that interests me. I am desperate for memories at the moment and I would be very interested to know more.

I know, I know..... I preach about letting things come in their own time too Az...but you know that I never take my own advice.


By Aislinne Sep 24 2008 -

When I have access to my own computer I'll give you the full spell. The requirements for it tho, *so as if you don't have them you can get them in the mean time* One unscented candle corresponding with each of the elements. One red, blue, white, and green. Sandalwood incense and a knife or antheme.

I'll post the rest later when I can get online on my own computer. Thats where I have it saved.

By Ishtahar Sep 24 2008 -

Excellent, I think I have all those things already.

Looking forward to seeing the spell. I haven't written anything in my Book of Shadows for ages....

And I am DEFINATELY going to try it

Thanks again

By Azaz'el Sep 25 2008 -

Don't forget you can post any spells or methods in the magick section............a plug for this section, I know, but hey, I'm allowed.



By Angelyn Jan 19 2009 -

This thread brought a couple things to the front of my mind. The first being, from what I recall I had no love for humanity what so ever, I viewed them with disdain and ignored their existence until banished to their/this plain. Then I pretty much went into a rage and killed them, to get some point across. My displeasure at being stuck with them and jealousy that they were allowed to love at will is my guess. Apparently it didn't get across as I'm still in human form here on Earth. Actually, even though they fascinate me, I still have a general disdain for humanity as a whole. So I'm trying to figure out if I belong here, not that I'm going anywhere because I like you guys, but wondering if I am one of you. I also read something about "The Old Ones" with a symbol almost identical to the energy eye that's on the banner that resounded in me, seems like you're all part of a similar group.

By Azaz'el Jan 21 2009 -

I suppose the most important thing to remember is that each member is different and each one has their place here. Whilst Ish and I hoped to create a place where the Fallen Grigori, my brothers, could reconnect, it is not exclusively just for us. It is our hope that this place can be a small, safe haven where any Kin type can come and chat and learn, understand or reconnect.

I and my legion of Grigori did love Humanity. We saw their potential, their beauty, the passion through which they lived their brief lives. We saw hope and understood that through them we could all move forward. Humanity could evolve, and that was something we knew was important to all Races.

The Shadow, the rest of my brothers, has a great disdain for Humanity. They more often than not saw them as animals, a workforce that inhabited this plane of existence to to their bidding. Shadow saw themselves as being not just different but also superior. They were, but thats only because they had knowledge and different abilities.

I have to be open and honest, as I have been elsewhere, and point out here that in the end I did not settle down and live happily ever after with a Human, as most of my legion did. I found my soulmate in another Shadow. But I still loved Humanity. Now, in this life, my views of Humanity are a little more jaded, but I still have hope that the race I am now a part of, can be raised above the baser side of their nature and become the tool for growth they are meant to be.

The name 'Old Ones' is one that has been used to describe many different groups and races. I will admit that it has been used to describe the Shadow (Grigori/angel etc) but it will also have been used to describe other Kin types too. So, yes, it does belong to Kin...... Fallen, Shadow, Fae, Dragon etc etc. As for the symbol of the Eye...... it is a very powerful and ancient symbol, one which I could write about at great length for the next 3 days!!!

To sum up the concept, the Eye is the Gateway through which the Source can be connected and through which life, rebirth and regeneration can come to fruition. It represent the void through which we have to pass in order to link and become one with the Source. It is death, rebirth, life eternal and creation. The Eye was something that was specifically originally used by the Grigori and their Priests and Priestesses when linking with the Source (God/Creator etc).

Does that make sense and shed any more light on the matter?


By Angelyn Jan 21 2009 -

Yeah, a bit. Shadow resounds so strongly with me as I know I'm a creature of duality. And while I'm still slightly disdainful of humanity I've dedicated my life this round to working with those with mental disorders helping them recover. Trying to get my balance back. I've been in the dark for so long, but I feel the flame still inside me.

By Azaz'el Jan 21 2009 -

The flame burns brightly in all Shadow, regardless of how distant our last incarnation in our true form, for we are born of fire and made of fire. As Shadow we stand between the darkness and the light, the truth and the lie.

As a side point, as someone who also works in the area of mental disorders and mental health, there is avery real need to help those who have glimpsed too soon the path ahead.


By Angelyn Jan 22 2009 -

I'm always here to answer what ever mental health questions come up that I can, if I don't know answer I can find it. Same gos for religion, it's one of my hobbies. I'd also be interested in the memory spell when it's found if you could send it to me, or let me know it's been posted I'd appreciate it.

By Shemyaza Jan 22 2009 -

Just catching up on some of the threads, and I came across this one about labels, I would like to add these thoughts:

Labels can cause fear, to break through that fear will make you stronger, labels dont have to be for others to read, but for yourself alone, to help you better understand yourself. I am, currently, having issues on who I was, I know what I want to say, but I am afraid to voice that to myself. This is a label that I am only now being able to share with others, that alone is giving me strength. I know eventually that I will have the courage I need to confront that label myself, and see the truth or illusion of it. That has to be a good thing in my book.

It is a personal choice on whether you advertise that label or not.

By Ishtahar Jan 23 2009 -

Never be afraid to face who and what you are. I was for so very long, and in some ways I still am. Be careful, be honest, especially with yourself, be careful, be clear, be open and be willing to revise your opinions in the light of conflicting evidence.... but never be afraid. Fear is the weapon of the enemy... any enemy even your own self doubt. And besides.... what is there to fear about being yourself?

By Angelyn Jan 24 2009 -

I can honestly say there are some aspects of my true self I'm afraid to discover, but I'm working through or around that fear. I did some horrible things in the far past, and I'm afraid of what'll happen when I feel that rage again.

By Ishtahar Jan 24 2009 -

I suspect that you will suffer torment for a time and then come to realise that everything you have done in the past is what makes you what you are today. The good and the evil balanced, the rage and the peace in their place, the whole and complete (well getting there) person that you are. There is no place for regret, no time for remorse.... only acceptance and learning.

At least that is what happened to me

By Angelyn Jan 24 2009 -

Thank you

By Azaz'el Jan 24 2009 -

I have had the honour to watch as Ishtahar has faced some of this.... and she has grown beyond all measure of expected change and acceptance. Never fear who you were Angelyn, as it does not mean it is who you will be. But the future is made by the path made by your feet. When the time is right, you will look at your path and accept.

When the time is right.


By Saeriel Feb 14 2009 -

Please bear with me here as I try to explain this. Most everything I have had happen has been feelings, flashes of thoughts, visions, abrupt changes in what I see.. It is hard to describe and harder, I think, to follow but here is my attempt.

Always, the dreams and flashes are of the past, never the present unless it is a friend or family member. Most time the clothing are from the wrong time period as are words, modes of transport, and well.. everything.. That is a main reason of how I always know I am dreaming. Even walking down the street, I will see someone and for a heartbeat, things change and I see something else.. it passes very fast.. but it was there. As a child, I had thought I was nuts...

Always I have a sword and my hands are always bloody.. always without fail. I always either kill, maim, or destroy someone in these dreams.. always a battle.. I feel sorrow for it but know there was never another choice...

So, that is about all I can say execpt there are people I meet and I know them.. Instantly and perfectly.. I can usually give them details of themselves and there is usually something that draws us together. We will never be lovers maybe not even friends, but there is something....

By Dreamsend Feb 16 2009 -

I can understand the random flashes of images that you don't understand and can't put into context. I get many of my intuitive flashes that way. I can understand them if it's something having to do with this life (after a while, and not always do I actually figre them out). If it has to do with the other realms or worse other time periods and events from other lives/existences, they usually leave me lost and confused. I'm sorry that they are too confusing to understand, when they happen to you. It's really frustrating to have knowledge present itself to you that you can't interpret because you just don't have enough information.

I've also had memories - the most intense memories I have - of being in battles that were long and protracted, and being bloodthirsty, and fighting with a spear.

-- Dream's End

By Saeriel Feb 16 2009 -

thank god I am not the only one.. no one else has these kind of dreams.. none that i have met anyway.. so.. what do we do about them?

By Dreamsend Feb 17 2009 -

It depends on how overwhelmed you are. With any sensitives I've found it's important to remain grounded and centered. Grounding keeps the energy in the body and connected to the earth/excess energies "drain" off this way. Centering keeps you focused; in this way the thoughts that you have are strongest, as opposed to all visions, flashes, etc having equal precedence over the mind. It keeps your energy from being scattered. These helped me immensely once I mastered them, though I was hugely frustrated at first to have people recommend these to me over and over again and not explain how. They didn't help until I had visualizations that made sense to me to help me out. If these concepts are unfamilar I'll try to find what I have on them in detail to post for you here.

As for getting less muddled images/clearer images and visions, I've found that it helps to meditate - slow the mind, concentrate on the self. It also helps to become aware that they are outside the self and not part of the self, to look at them from an observer's point of view. I find this helps them come more into focus, and helps me not to be so overwhelmed with imagery that I can't see what's going on.

Believe me, if I think of anything else that's helpful, I'll share. I haven't quite figured it out myself yet, but I hope these little things help.

-- Dream's End

By Ishtahar Feb 17 2009 -

I think you will find that most of us experience these kind of vivid and confusing dreams / visions.

As dreamsend has indicated there are many ways of trying to deal with them but ultimately there is only one..., patience Write everything down make as much sense of it as you can and read over your notes often. You will be surprised how something that makes no sense at the time will suddenly become clear when you look back a while later.

Good luck... nothing worthwhile was ever easy

By Scratch Feb 19 2009 -

Maybe I'm just lucky, but fragmented visions come to me with a built-in explanation. The tricky part is the fact that truth is much stranger than fiction, so the "rational" part of my mind has trouble accepting either the image, reason behind it, or both. I'm still training myself to not try to "complete" these things myself; making up details out of curiosity or contemplation is confusing and crazy-making, but very, very tempting.

The recall is drawn out. Pieces come with no apparent connection, and sometimes seem to directly contradict each other, or widespread interpretations of how things were . Quite recently, I had a big one which suddenly linked together all sorts of things I'd dismissed as either mistakes or temporary description (lacking a better/true way to define what I was getting), because they didn't seem to fit with what I saw a few years further on. It was marvelous and scary to suddenly have all these pieces of me make one cohesive story.

As one of my favorite professors told me once, the first impulse is usually the correct one. I think the trust and patience required to form a whole out of individual pieces are a major part of the learning process, which the memories themselves are facilitating.

By Ishtahar Feb 19 2009 -

Oh yes

By Saeriel Feb 22 2009 -

Scratch, indeed I agree with you there. first impulse is usually the right one but we doubt ourselves...

Meditation I have done. I learned it through teaching myself to lucid dream. The problem is, in the last year, my safe place (My white void) does not come to me so easily. I am unsure why..
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