ARCHIVE: An introduction, perhaps a reintroduction...

By Ezeqe'el Sep 21 2009 -

Hello to everyone here, both new and (possibly) old friends.

First please forgive that I have not introduced myself earlier. I found and joined here some time ago but still had too much thinking to do to want to talk. No rudeness was intended.

I'm trying to put into place so many thoughts, feelings and possible memories that I have little clarity right now. But I wanted to make a start here, albeit a gentle one. Small steps to climb a mountain. So please let me give a brief(ish) introduction...

My name (I am coming to believe, to know) is Ezeqe'el, and I know that I have walked the Earth before this 'life'.

There is just too much in me for one lifetime. I've been to places, old places, and had such an overwhelming feeling that I know that place well; yet it's my first visit in this life. Emotions, feelings and a moral code that I have had and experienced from being very (very) young, but with no reason or explanation for them or where they came from.

There are many things in this life that have led me, eventually, to these realisations. Both things in my own experience, and in those around me. There has never been a time when I did not feel very different from those around me. I've also always known that I wasn't the only one to be 'different'. On a few rare occasions I've encountered, I believe, 'others'. It's a feeling; like a detectable aura.

Despite all that, life goes on and I've managed for many years to 'go on' with it, and rarely gave much thought to what I am, or if I was just a little insane. Throughout it though I have felt that something was wrong; missing; that I was somehow wasting time when there was something of vastly more significance to be concerned with.

More recently things have got so strong in me that I could hardly contain them, to the point of feeling incoherent rage at the stupidity, pettiness and injustice I see around me every day. Then I completely ruptured my Achilles tendon while running up a hill, and the surgeon forced me to sit and think for a while. Darn frail human bodies, lol.

So here I am. I would say almost a serendipitous arrival, since I didn't think that I was searching for such answers; but I don't really believe that I came here by accident. The gradual realisation, awakening, over the last few months has answered so many questions and fits with so much of my experience that there can be no doubt.

Anyway, I've waffled on for long enough I think. If anyone's still awake, thank you, and for those who are asleep, no worries.

You can probably tell that I tend to write... I've been making notes on memories and feelings and, when I've got them in some semblance of order, will share them. Like I said, small steps. I just don't want to misinform by way of my confusion. I do know that the things I'm remembering weren't pretty.

Oh, and I completely adore good chocolate, by the way!

I'll close with a photo of a statue in our garden. I found it years ago and had to have it...

[user posted image at http://www.freethefallen.com/img/gardenangel1.jpg ]


Ezeqe'el.


By Ouza Sep 21 2009 -

Welcome home, loved one !!! We all are so very very proud of you!

Ouza


By Dreamsend Sep 21 2009 -

Welcome Ezeqe'el,

We have a great home here, as you've no doubt seen already. I appreciate that you've decided to step forward, that takes courage and dedication. Or, at the least, incessant nagging from the other side. *lol!*

I have the intense and immediate sensation that I already know you. How this is, I don't know, so I'll just wait to see what reveals itself with time.

A love of chocolate is always a good thing. There are few ills to be found with chocolate. Except for puppies, who should stay away from it. *lol*

Hope you enjoy your stay. If you have any concerns or questions, PM one of the mods or admin =)

Angela


By Ishtahar Sep 21 2009 -

Welcome. I am so glad you decided to speak and join us. Don't worry about confusing us with misinformation... we are doing a great job of that ourselves already.

Awakening is hard... very hard. It is confusing and frustrating and unbelievable and sends us all crazy for a while... a while? tongue.gif... if you have any questions ask... the only stupid question is the one not asked. If you have any observations, make them... if there is anything that doesn't feel right tell us.

Ouza is the chocolate expert.... the rest of us just follow his suggestions and eat it whenever can get away with stealing it from Az ;p

Welcome again


By Seraphyna Sep 21 2009 -

Welcome smile.gif A pet peeve of mine is when people say they "know" they had a past life, or are whatever-kin, etc. There is no way to 100% "know" any of those things, they are beliefs...they cannot be proven and thus cannot be something we "know".


By Scratch Sep 22 2009 -

So, you took the red pill too, huh? ::rimshot:: What are those lovely flowers in your garden?

I'm sure you'll find (if you haven't already) the basic gist of your story is a common experience for seemingly uncommon people like us. Seraphyna, as usual, raises a good point about terminology. Let me add that this lack of knowing can be a source of liberation, as you explore the depths of who you are. If you feel compelled to share, even if the idea is incomplete, please don't hesitate (especially if you're confused). I've found many times that the flow of writing can help clarify the abstract and half-baked, and there's a lot of insights to be found here. Who- or whatever I am, having a safe place to spill the things that made me "insane" has been invaluable. Besides, if you've spent any time reading at all, I'm sure you've seen there's no need to worry about what anyone will think.

Welcome! Glad you found us.


By Razi'el Sep 22 2009 -

*bows* it's very good to meet you, Ezeqi'el! as the others have already said, if something is bothering you, feel free to speak out, and don't worry about what we all think, but take everything with a (mountainous???) grain of salt, eh? tongue.gif

there's lots of strange things around here, so if you run into anything, be they critters or whatnot, drop me a line, would you? i'm planning on making a bestiary, think along the lines of the Spiderwick Field Guide, heheh!~<3

anywho, there be my two cents! have fun!

Razi'el


By Dreamsend Sep 22 2009 -

I would love to see that Bestiary, Raz! Ooh, let me think about if i know of anything to add to it =3


By Azaz'el Sep 22 2009 -

Greetings and welcome to the forum Ezeqe'el. It seems I'm lagging behind, as usual, but with the autumn equinox celebrations last night, I didn't get a chance to log in and check posts.

As has been said, if you have any questions or aren't sure about anything, just shout out..... as you cxan tell by now, we will all probably have an opinion, and most of us will be coming from the same if not similar direction. It's good to know that you found this forum and felt comfortable enough to join and now post.... hopefully it will become a place of peace and sharing that it has become for many. If ever you want to post something that is more personal and would like only members who have joined to see, there is a members section to the forum, which is not visible to non-members.

The process of awakening and then of accepting can be hard paths to walk and difficult states to accept. But, no matter how many years pass, eventually we all have to face the truth of who and what we are and realise that we all eventually live up to our nature. Not wanting to get caught up on semantics, but I personally think it is possible for each individual to 'know' who and what and when they lived.... I very much feel that I know who I am and when I was alive and what I did. But again this is personal and it took me many years of self doubt and hard work to reach the stage where I can say this and realise that many will not believe me or accept it ..... and that, in itself, is fine.

I am sorry to hear that the things you are remembering aren't pretty .... depending on who or what you are will highlight just how much we will all be able to relate to you on that score. But I know what its like to have so pretty horrendous memories surface. Just remember that in what will seem like a world gone mad, there are those of us here who have perhaps faced the same and understood it. We're here if we can help.

As for the chocolate, I never touch the stuff..........

..... snow is pink and the moon is made from green cheese!!!

Welcome to the forum, it's good to see you here.

Azaz'el