By Keziah Feb 17 2008 -
If this is in the wrong place, PLEASE feel free to move it! <3
What I do remember is like a bunch of stillframes. Very crisp and clear, but extremely short, almost like a snapshot. So I'll do my best here! If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask.
The Stream and Tree
I spent a lot of time under this single tree. It wasn’t large, but it wasn’t small, either. It looked almost like an enlarged bonsai tree, with low sweeping branches that were a lot stronger and sturdier than they appeared. I could almost touch the lowest one if I stood on my tiptoes. The roots gnarled away at the dirt before disappearing fully, and the tree was elevated ever so slightly on a mound of dirt. The leaves were tiny, and a cool blue-green. It was always shady and cool there.
A few yards away, a small stream babbled away aimlessly. The tree’s limbs hovered a little ways over it. I loved the water, and when I should have been focusing on my lessons, I often would creep closer to the edge and dip my foot in. My teacher liked the tree, too, so he’d teach me out there, but since the water was so close I remember often jumping in and proceeding to splash him. He’d give me a cross, stern look, before smirking and getting close enough to splash me back.
As time went on, the splashing stopped. I went to the tree by myself more often to think, and there was a tangible tension in the air that made me uneasy and depressed. The lessons became scarce as I saw less of my teacher. I saw less of everybody those days.
The War
I don’t remember much about the War that took place with the original Fall. I just remember feeling the tension in the air and being very scared. I was younger then, and remember talking about whose side who was on with my guide. He didn’t like me talking about that much, especially since I was so sympathetic to both sides. I think he was afraid I was going to join with the rebellious angels. I was pretty sheltered in those days, but I couldn’t escape all the tangible tension; the air was so thick you could slice it with a knife.
The Pool and the Grove
There are two other prominent locations I spent time at. One is a clearing amongst a bunch of trees, where in the center there is a very large tree stump. I would often sit there and gaze at the stars.
The other is this rocky ledge that overlooks a pool of very deep, clear water. There are stepping stones across, and carved stairs to get to the top. I would sit at the top of the ledge and look over, and in the water, could watch what was going on at different locations dealing with humans.
My Teacher and Guide
I don’t know what else to call him, really. People have told me I can’t have an angel as a guide in this life, that he would be my guardian angel instead. He does often act like a guardian, but he also guides and teaches me. I call him Alec, because when I first asked for his name a few years back, he got tired of me trying to repeat the name he gave me and shortened it to something easier for me to grasp. I had never heard the name before, and only later did I realize it’s not that rare of a name. My friend recently told me it’s Greek and means “helper of man”.
A few weeks ago I was flustered because I was trying to do research on the Archangel Uriel, when a friend told me this one book said Uriel and Raziel were the same angel. Despite the fact this went against everything I had studied, it irritated me because I’ve met an angel that called himself Raziel, and we didn’t quite get along. In a flurry, I said “Next thing you know, I’m going to find out Alec’s Raziel too!” and to my surprise I heard him say “No Ala’niel”. At least that’s what it sounded like. Ah-LAH-knee-uhl. So I suppose that’s the closest thing I have so far, though I’m not sure if he was correcting me and giving me his name, or was referring to me by that name.
He’s about 5’8” or so, long black hair and deep violet eyes that seem a little droopy. His features are chiseled, kind of like those Greek statues, and he’s pretty pale. He likes to wear black and darker clothes, and his wings, which he doesn’t have out very often at all, are raven black. Because of this appearance, I mistook him as being fallen or demonic back when I first saw him in my dreams five years ago. I’ve come to learn that appearance is not something to go by in those matters, but at that point in time it was all new to me. I wasn’t raised in any religion, so I had very little to go on. I feel really foolish about the whole thing now.
Alec’s fairly quiet, but when he does speak it’s almost guaranteed to be a sarcastic remark. He’s the type to have arms crossed, with a smug smirk on his face. I didn’t like him much at first, but quickly warmed up to him, especially as my memories of him started coming back. He’s actually really kind-hearted, even though he may not act like it. He’s a little rebellious and doesn’t seem to follow the same standards of procedure as the other angels, but he seems to be respected. So when I refer to Alec, now you know who I’m talking to, though I’ll usually refer to him as guide.
Who I Was
I don’t know a lot about who I was. I don’t remember a name, I don’t remember a choir or title or rank. I do know I didn’t deal with the concept of choirs well, and tended to ignore them. Oddly enough, I never got in trouble for that, even though I approached angels of all ranks the same. I was polite, though, that might be why. I didn’t like the meetings I had to go to, and would make it obvious in my body language. I also didn’t follow dress codes perfectly, and usually appeared overdressed because I liked the formal clothes better.
I got called “dear one” a lot, and “kiddo”, and had my head patted. I seemed a lot younger and more naïve then most of the others, but I did seem to have similar responsibilities, such as attending meetings, escorting souls, and watching people. I loved to observe humanity, and even though I really wanted to be amongst them and interact, now that I’m here I find I have this ingrained fear of action. It feels almost wrong for me to change the course of events in people’s lives, but my very existence here does that, so it’s been hard to cope.
I don’t like my wings, they get in the way, so I usually had them tucked in. When they were out, they were white with gold flecks that made them shine in the right light. Sometimes, they took on a pastel color sheen if the lighting reflected off them just so. I had long brown hair and wide blue-gray eyes, a plumper frame, about 5’5” or so. I usually wore this white gown that was trimmed with gold, and this golden circlet in my hair. I often felt like I got in the other angel’s way, but at the same time had this feeling that I had a job or something more important than they would let on due to my age.
Lucifer
I saw him once. I’m not sure if it was during the First War, I think you call it, or later after he had Fallen. Everything was really tense; he stood a few meters away from me and didn’t even notice I was there. He was too busy glaring at these other few angels around me. I remember feeling start-struck, and took a slight step forward, which caused him to look at me. I will never forget how intense his eyes were. An angel standing near me grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me back protectively, as I stood there in complete shock as he walked away.
By Dreamsend Feb 25 2008 -
I loved reading over what you could remember, thanks for sharing them with us =)
The pool you would watch humanity in is a scrying pool of some sort? Does this seem to have taken place on Earth as it is, or in another realm of some sort?
I have had similar fears of what impact I would have, and feeling as if I didn't have a right to interfere in the lives of others through having any influence in their lives at all. I've felt that same way since I was very small, I think I get where you're coming from.
I like to think I've moved past that now, if not in the best of ways... I have stopped considering the impact I will have in the lives of others as wrong.
-- Angela
By Keziah Feb 25 2008 -
I never thought of it as a scrying pool, but acutally that description does sound accurate. It was in another realm, and it was a rather large pool, very pretty. The dream that occured in was permeated with sadness, however.
And thank you so much for telling me you could relate...I hadn't met anyone else who felt that way, so it's nice to know I'm not alone. I, too, have worked past a nice chunk of it, but I can still feel its effects there.
<3
Kizzy
By Sari'el Feb 26 2008 -
QUOTE
"The Pool and the Grove
There are two other prominent locations I spent time at. One is a clearing amongst a bunch of trees, where in the center there is a very large tree stump. I would often sit there and gaze at the stars."
I think I know this place, I've been there once or twice... Can you describe it more accurately, just in case... And have you ever seen anyone else there?
If you don't feel comfortable going into detail here pm me, please...
Love,
Seri'el
By Keziah Feb 27 2008 -
I don't mind posting it here. biggrin.gif
I'm really bad with distances. The clearing is kinda more like an oval, and it's probably around 25 feet or so across the longest way, maybe 15 feet the shorter way...I'm sorry, I don't know metric cause I suck. D:
The trees are really tall, and full. There is soft grass there, and the one stump is probably got a diameter of four feet or so, maybe a little less. It's fairly low cut.
I normally go there alone, but there were two occassions I wasn't alone. The first, there was a small gathering of angels there talking about something (five or so), so I turned and left, a little put off because it was supposed to be MY spot *laughs*. The other time was at night. There was this beautiful person there, sitting on the stump...when I walked up, they turned and looked at me and vanished. It's as if he/she (rather androgynous) gave off light just like the moon. The whole encounter made me hold my breath, it was such a beautiful scene. It's been a while, but I do remember the person was very lithe, and pale looking.
By Azaz'el Feb 27 2008 -
Is this clearing where the stump is in the same land as the pool or in this world?
I ask as I am curious.... I have very strong memories of being in different lands in this world before my final station in Kharsag, in Eden. I spent a lot of time wandering the lands of what is now Britain and Europe, before much land was covered in water and islands formed. I have no memory of the clearing you talk about, yet it "feels" familiar.... if thise deosn't sound too odd. I can help wondering if it is a meeting place I have been to or something that is very archetypal.
Az
By Keziah Feb 28 2008 -
I couldn't walk you from the clearing to the pool, no...I could walk you from the clearing to the stream with the tree. Still, something felt similar between the pool and the clearing, so I figure it was the same general land, just further apart. Also, I only saw one other near the pool, who was also an angel, and I can't remember ever seeing humans around any of these areas.
The clearing with the stump is usually empty when I went, which was usually late at night. However, that time I did go during daylight, those five angels were there. I was interrupting a meeting of some sort, so they went and got my guide for me and took me elsewhere.
I'm so sorry if this isn't much help! D:
~Kizzy
By Azaz'el Feb 28 2008 -
It's more than enough help, thanks for sharing what you can. Don't worry, you're not on your own with regards to having fragmented memories and only hints of how things were. As you wil have seen from all Ishathar and I have said on the website, our memories are not complete, which is why we get so excited when others share their memories with us and it all starts to link together.
We'll all get there, given enough time and large doses of patience. It's just such a shame that the process of death and rebirth we faced, or the way in which it was done, has shredded and removed so much of who we were from our minds. But time, as they say, is a great healer.....
Az
By Ishtahar Mar 8 2008 -
Does the clearing have a steam running through I Keziah? I remember a similar clearing but it had a stream running through it, not at the centre but near the trees, and a large flat rock that you an sit on and dangle your feel in the water.
I used to sit there with Shem and watch him sleep in the sun. Not telling you what we did when he woke up wink.gif I was so shameless then ohmy.gif
I have also been there many times since. I this life I have been there in meditation and for a long long time it was my Druid Grove where i went for inner working and my base when I explored my inner landscape. I had thought that it had come from my imagination rather than a memory, until I rememebed meeting Shem there.
It was at a time when he was teaching me that the border between rememrance, knowledge and imagination are not as clear as we might think and sometimes things we think we have imagined or dreamed were in fact memories of another time.
ish
by Keziah Mar 11 2008 -
QUOTE
"Does the clearing have a steam running through I Keziah?"
I don't remember a stream running through the clearing, though I'm sure there are multiple clearings around that area and I DO remember a stream being nearby!
I'm like you, I've gone there several times in meditations as well as dreams.
By Azaz'el Mar 12 2008 -
There is a specific place that I always went to in meditation. It was a beach that seemd to be so familiar yet I had never seen it physically in this life. It drew me to it, it felt like home, it felt so real.... at times more real than the real world.
It was only during and after the awakening process that I discovered that this beach was the place I had been exiled to for the past few millennia, a construct and form created in order to hold me within the energy of the earth ...... a place between places, as all beaches are. I remember the times I tried to break free of that place, the times I wept and railed against it. The times I sat and accepted my fate.
This is a place I am still drawn to many times even though it was my prison. It is strange that the places we once knew, once perhaps considered as 'home' still call to us now.
Az
By Razi'el Jun 9 2009 -
*bows* hello Keziah...
umm, to start off, i'm not really sure about any of that, i'm still only remembering things myself... i remember very little, only what i have posted here thus far. i'm sorry if i don't remember you, my memories seem to be mostly linked with the city. it doesn't seem like i would have not liked you though, you seem like a good guy!
anywho, not sure how long you were away form here, or if you're reading this, but here's hoping we can be friends ^^
Razi'el
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