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Malphas

Malphas

Posts : 145
Join date : 2010-10-06
Age : 36
Location : missouri

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PostSubject: Being Human   Being Human EmptySat Nov 20, 2010 4:19 am

I've come to the conclusion that I completely fail at being human. I cannot for some reason begin to understand why humans think the way that they do, why they're so....aloof? for lack of a better word, to all the goings on of the world around them.

Humans take so many things personally, whereas I, being what I am, tend to brush most things aside as insignificant, only to be termed as 'heartless' or 'cold' or 'uncaring', when I do indeed care, I do indeed have a heart, although I may not understand. Some people take the things that I say or do as a personal affront to their very existence it seems. I mean no harm by my words or my actions, though humans seem to interpret them as harmful or abrasive... I try to explain my angle, my thoughts and feelings, and to them, I'm a sociopath, or a psychotic... This, it seems, is one of the main reasons why I've always felt so.... disconnected. The way that I think is SO different from the minds of others around me. I attempt to have a conversation with someone, and sure, they nod and smile, but I KNOW they have no idea what I'm going on about. Mentally, spiritually, I'm so much more than human, although I'm trapped in this confounded, deteriorating, cursed flesh.

The more I see of my past, the more I remember of what I once was, the more I loathe this current, terrible existence. I am forever damned by the choices that I made thousands of years ago, cursed to live in a life that I am constantly held back, pulled down. My prayers fall on def ears. My cries to the heavens are turned away due to the fact that I have been forsaken by an uncaring God for acts that this mortal body didn't even commit.

Other mortals do or say things against me and mine, and I am filled with a vengeful RAGE the likes of which I have never known. I do know that at one time, I could have ended them for their transgressions. I could have completely annihilated them for their foolishness, and I am reminded of this daily. But now, now you see, I am completely powerless. I can do nothing to remind these accursed mortals of what they're dealing with, for now I too am trapped within this blasted mortal shell, cut off from my once significant power, cut off from my legions, cut off from my magick.. and there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it.

As each day passes, as each memory of what I was becomes more clear, I begin to hate this and all other mortal lives more and more. Filthy, uncouth, self centered, ungrateful, insignificant, worthless gnats. That's what humans are becoming to me.
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Ishtahar
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Ishtahar

Posts : 1158
Join date : 2010-02-05
Age : 55
Location : Wales

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PostSubject: Re: Being Human   Being Human EmptyTue Nov 23, 2010 7:03 pm

You'll find a happy medium when you grow into who you are as opposed to who you were. In order to be what you can be you have to find a reconciliation somewhere. Remember why you fell

Many if not all of us have trouble understanding humans as they are now and fitting in with their society and narrow minds.

I have had much cause to despise them over the years but they are children and if they fall isn't it the role of the parent to pick them up and teach them how not to do it again.

Humanity was abandoned and their development interfered with by the Sanhedrin and those who did not fall. It's not entirely their fault. We were the ones who tried to educate and show them another way and in some ways I feel responsible for what happened after.

Take heart, it does get easier and I still have faith that one day will be our day again.
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