ARCHIVE: What I Remember

From Seraphyna 18 Feb 08

Seraphyna was my name...I took it as my confirmation name when I was still being forced into Catholicism by my parents....anyway, I was a very powerful individual who was blinded by it...it consumed me. I was betrothed, but never loved him and fell in love with a man named Sepherious. The other man knew that he could hold no candle to our love and stepped aside, still in love with her himself, but knowing that he didn't have the remotest of chances. The more my power grew, the less "human" I became. Granted, this did not take place on this earth or in this time, but some alternate plain probably hundreds of years past. I wanted to be akin with the gods. I ended up cheating on Sepherious with a man named Vandon. I never forgave myself, seeing what this quest for power had turned me into. Knowing that no one could destroy me, I consumed myself in flames for what I thought would be an eternity of conscious death. Soon after, Sepherious and my betrothed were in a great battle where Sepherious was defeated and imprisoned in an emerald talisman sealed with dragon and lizard symbols. Everyone involved has, at this point, been reincarnated, destined to play out their roles in something of the human apocalypse or some kind of threat, which is apparently closer at hand than I ever thought it could be. Once my memories came back to me (mind you they're still incomplete and a smidge fuzzy), Iwas devastated. I have never been the same as I was because my pain is simply too great no matter how I try to overcome it. I blame myself for everything. Sepherious may not even know who he is, but his soul was released about two years ago from the emerald. My betrothed and Vandon are around somewhere and have more power and complete memories than I do...which may be a dangerous development...but I don't think I'm sure about how to go about strengthening those potential gifts...I'm not sure I even fully remember my former "glory" so to speak. That's about all I've got. The memories I have are quite disjointed, a name and a picture coming in here or there needing to be placed together until it's all figured out. I've done two past life visualizations and have seen myself standing atop a waterfall in a vast city with tall buildings that are silver spirals...I also see myself winged, which is why I think I'm angelic...however, I might be part phoenix given the whole fire thing or could be demonic...I have a birthmark (it was much bigger at birth) over my chest where the fire began when I tried to destroy myself long ago...I was born with a big red mark on my chest, it's now very very small....but there you have it...yes long story huh? Thoughts?


From Azaz'el 22 Feb 08

Thank you for sharing your memories with us. one of the things you mentioned that really jumped out at me is the concept of having, in this life, something that linked you back to your past life. For you it is a birthmark, for me is it from a head wound that almost killed me in my last life. Does anyone else have inherited conditions or marks from their past life?

I think the important thing Seraphyna, at the risk of telling you what you already know, is that you take it slowly. I can remember what it was like for me to have fragmented and fuzzy memories, but they are usually like this so that the pain and the discomfort of remembering who and what you are can slowly be returned and not destroy you with loss and heartache. Saying that, however, you sound as if you have rememberd enough heartache.

You say that you remember yourself as being winged, yet in another thread you mention not believing in the Grigori, that we are "christian" and you're not christian. So what do you think you could be, an elemental perhaps?

Angels are very much the christian concept of the Shadow, the Malakh, which is why we use the name Shadow, so as not to be confused with the modern concept of angels. Yet as Shadow, as beings who were given the task of guiding and protecting, some did have wings. Perhaps in the end you could link in more with Shadow that perhaps you first thought.


From Araqiel 23 Feb 08

The tale rings a bell, somehow and yep it is not a good one which way ever you view it.

However I'm yet not entirely clear myself on how and what just that I remember some things of it.


From Ishtahar 4 March 08

For Az and I we have been aware of the 'Great Cycle' for some time now. Of players in an eternal story coming together lifetime after lifetime in the hope of finally getting it right. This is the way it is for us at this time.

The fact that you are caught in a similar cycle and that you have come here and shared it with us suggest that your cycle is somehow linked with ours. How, why and what it all means is beyod me I am afraid.

I think that at this time we are engaged in an excercise to work out the questions before we even begin to start to look for answers