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Razi'el
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Razi'el

Posts : 527
Join date : 2010-02-08
Age : 31
Location : Ontario, Canada

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PostSubject: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 12:03 am

Hey all, i know it's been a while since i posted anything of real importance, and normally i can handle most of my problems by myself; logic does wonders after all. However, i am afraid this time i have not been so lucky.

Lately i've been trying to figure out why i look down on human beings. I don't mean to, or at least i keep telling myself that... yet, whenever someone pulls rank or something, like in a movie, i can't help but think of them as... well... undeserving of any respect. And i can't seem to curb it, i don't know what's wrong with me, whether or not i'm some kind of sociopath, if i've finally gone crazy or what.

And let me just say that i understand, i get the whole point about "we're human now too" and the fact that i'm being completely irrational when i have those thoughts, and that i need to lighten up and accept them with patience and kindness, yet time and time again these practices in this life have been rewarded with nothing but people walking all over me. Part of me wants to lash out and just deal to them what i've been dealt, get some form of satisfaction out of it, but time and again i'm told to simply turn the other cheek, to do unto others, etc, etc.

i guess the TL;DR version would be that for some reason i have a bit superiority complex over humans, and i want to understand why, because i can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard i try to understand human beings. I guess i want to know if it's just me, or if others out there feel the same... and if so, how to better handle it.

it's got me to the point where i'm at war with myself... help please? Neutral
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Gabri'el

Gabri'el

Posts : 227
Join date : 2011-07-26
Age : 48
Location : USA

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 5:45 am

Hi Raz *hugs* most if not all of us are going through some changes right about now, and I can relate to your situation in a way - seems like we are taking on the personalities of our "Shadow" side once again. If I remember correctly "Razi'el" did have a bit of a superiority complex back in the day Razz

Just teasing my friend, yes I am also experiencing a lot of changes within me - spiritual and emotional. I guess as the world changes so do we, and I wonder if maybe as the "Shadow" from long ago come together little by little accelerates these changes within..... as well as reuniting with all of those who were precious to us back then..otherkin/human/therian... etc...

You're not alone my brother - Gabe still has a tendency to be quite the smartass when the mood strikes Surprised
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Scratch

Scratch

Posts : 670
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 39
Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 8:15 am

Well, when someone pulls rank to try to get me to respect them, I tend to look down on them for feeling the need to point out why I must respect them. I don't think that's egotistical on my part, because it's an unnecessary maneuver. For example, a while ago a guy was lecturing a group I was part of, to great length, and attempted to support his right to his opinion with, "I have a 165 IQ. That's genius level. I *know* what I'm talking about." My reaction was, if he's such a "genius," why couldn't he get his point across without talking down to us?

It took me a long time to come to this understanding, but actions are what earn or destroy respect, not talk. People can say any old thing they want to about themselves, and often do, because there is a lot of disconnection from reality going on, and a lot of people take advantage of others' willingness to give the benefit of the doubt, see the other side, meet in the middle, etc.

Yes, it is good practice to treat all with compassion, and not try to get back at anyone who offends or hurts us. However, all too often that gets misconstrued into allowing bad behavior to continue unchecked, and results in the non-offending person being walked all over. Again, that was hard won lesson for me, but there are times when it is very appropriate to call someone on their bullshit: either they will be glad to have their faux pas pointed out to them, or they will be pissed, but only because you've put the message across that they can't get away with it anymore around you.

Maybe the frustration and superiority you feel is due to being locked into this mindset that turning the other cheek means not doing anything about behavior you find offensive, and feeling you're being punished for trying to be nice?

This could just be all the channeling of my inner punk I've been doing lately, but I say it's better to risk being a jerk, than offer silent consent for other people to be jerks. From what I know of you, you really don't strike me as the type to go around looking down on others for no reason.
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Ishtahar
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Ishtahar

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 12:39 pm

Respect is something that is ALWAYS earned and not demanded as of right. However, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and I think that a lot of problems of the world arise from the fact that the basis respect of one being for another has gone and in it's place is a natural tendency to disrespect anyone who has not proved themselves worthy. Well, I'm sorry, i'm damned if I am going to 'prove myself' to anyone. I am what I am like it or not.

I too have a tendency to look down on people if I'm honest. I try very hard to get over to it but I do get the feeling that I am 'better than' many people in my area. I don't go into certain cafe's and shops because they are 'beneath me' or 'not good enough' for me and this is not a conscious thing at all. I make a positive effort not to be partisan but it is a struggle as you say. It's a constant whisper in the back of my mind by a part of me who is sneering. But most of the time I won't listen to it.
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Razi'el
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Razi'el

Posts : 527
Join date : 2010-02-08
Age : 31
Location : Ontario, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 7:23 pm

thanks, everyone, i'm glad to know i'm not alone with these feelings (i mean really. finding out you're not the only one does wonders for comfort!)

Gabe: thanks for that, he does get quite a bit louder on occasion, to the point where i'm trying to resist the urge to just smack some people, heheh.

Scratch: i'm all too familiar with that reaction, it's been happening my entire life Rolling Eyes
anyway, i have been trying to be more assertive, with mixed results.

Ish: that's actually almost exactly how this feels, like certain people and things aren't good enough for me, and i do try to fight it, but like i said to gaber, sometimes it's much harder to resist that nagging urge to shut them up with force if necessary. a bit cro-magnon, but effective.
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Ousa

Ousa

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Age : 73
Location : Kansas

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 8:33 pm

You will find that my wishglow is a very loving and caring empathic person. I've always been proud of her and Az. They are and all of you will always remain in my heart and soul forever!

Ouza Like a Star @ heaven
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Scratch

Scratch

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Join date : 2010-02-20
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Location : Hawai'i, Oceania

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 9:05 pm

I feel that way, Ish, about certain establishments being beneath me, but even more so about people. It sounds bad, but I also spent several years completely ignoring that impulse, and wound up surrounded with people who anyone with self-respect would be forced to admit were the scummiest, sleaziest, and in some cases downright nasty. I kept convincing myself they were worth my time, that I cared about them and they needed my help, but they refused to help themselves, and were dragging me down with them. Since then, I offer kind words to people on the street, but will not hang out with them. You dig?

I really don't see anything wrong with having standards, and have experienced what it's like not to. Plus, a lot of people, very nice normal types, simply are not on the same page as people like us. When we can't find common ground, it seems like a waste of time to continue to try. There's a difference between strutting around like you're better than everyone, and knowing in your heart that there's more to you than these people have found within themselves yet.
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Azaz'el
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Azaz'el

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptySun Oct 09, 2011 11:14 pm

The bottom line is that whilst we are all Human now, once we were something more............ we spanned the Universe, we walked with Gods, we created Order out of Chaos, we were respected and honoured for the heritage we had and the world we did.

Now.......... we are different, the world is different, there is very little respect and honour for anyone or anything. We remember just how far we have fallen in status and ability. I think we would all find it easier to deal with if it was just in status........ but the fact that we can do very little compared to what we once could do means that at times we can feel frustrated and impotent and that makes us all the more sensitive to who and what we are now.

As has been said, we are all strongly connecting to our past, to our heritage, to what we are at a soul level right now....... and this is tough.

Az

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Hope fades into the world of night
Through Shadows falling out of memory and time...
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Stariana

Stariana

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Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptyWed Jun 13, 2012 5:55 am

I know exactly how you feel - which is why I stay away from the general public as much as possible. Many can be pleasant, but there are others. I've felt this way since I was a kid. Whenever someone tries to act superior to me, if I can't let it roll off my back or laugh in their face, I have this overwhelming need and urge to stomp them out in some way. Beat them down: physically or with words. I want them to feel lowly like they are. I want them back in their place and out of my face.

It feels so good to actually admit that. lol!
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Ousa

Ousa

Posts : 928
Join date : 2010-03-07
Age : 73
Location : Kansas

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PostSubject: Re: Emotional Confusion   Emotional Confusion EmptyWed Jun 13, 2012 2:29 pm

All I love you

I guess when it comes down to it we are still loners at heart!

But change is just that change and the only way to do that is to take chances.

I know that we are damned if we do and damned if we don't but, in order to effectively teach and just be ourselves we have to share somehow, somewhere and someplace. Which means that we must do something and just not fall back on our laurels.

To learn from others shortcomings is to not be like them.

And if that takes a hard skinned attitude... so be it!

The things that are written in stone are that we have free will and choice. That no one can take away from us nor can we take away from others!

If we suffer, it is the cause of our choice, if we move on and grow from it all then that is definitely a positive change for us and all of mankind!

Ouza Like a Star @ heaven
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