Fearing the Unknown

In the past few years, I have been acquainted with life lessons and life changing decisions. I have been lucky enough to break the mundane boundaries of my soul searching into extreme awakening that I feel is almost at its peak of the mountain. With that, came many fears I was not aware I had up until now. Which they have, sadly enough, wrack my brain when I am weak and powerless in the dreaming world.

For one, I have tirelessly been dreaming of death. The, "in-between worlds" that I find myself ever so floating upon. It's like looking through a glass window into my whole life, as well as others, but in a much broader picture, where the earth is concerned. But not only earth, other planets and galaxies as well.

I see all the corruption and inhumane things people are doing, the government lies being kept locked within a thick veil of deception.

Within this precious state, I feel and sense the earths vibrations. Whom has forever been warning the creatures that dwell upon this plane, to be careful. Hmm It seems I'm much more open to these vibrations more easily within my sleep, which seems logical enough.

Now, the dream that really throws me in a panic attack, is the dream of absolute nothingness. The idea, of all the worlds, galaxies, the whole shebang, disappearing into an absolute nothing. Returning into blackness. I have no idea why this scares me so, since our souls were all created once, but the fear of our souls evaporating just like the aroma of a rose wafting in the wind, sends me into a panic attack in my sleep. And even in the waking world, I have no control of this. It's like withing a snap of a second, I am thinking upon that dream, and finding myself having to calm down, in casing I loose my breath, loosing the power to control my mind, and faint. It's becoming a lot worse as the months turn the a year and so on and so forth.

Now, it's becoming to where I am getting at the age, I am fearing death once again. I thought I was ok with it if it happened, but now, all I can think of is complete blackness consuming me. Literally. I'm questioning my beliefs in things, wondering if anything really matters? I know deep down it does, but whatever has lodged itself in my soul, has got me really doubting things.

I want to know, has this ever happened to any of you guys? Is it apart of life? Would you be willing to share some insight upon something like this? How can I assure myself everything is ok and move on from this?

Nonetheless, thank you all for reading. Merry meet and blessed be! )O(

Sincerely,
Laviah

Thanks for sharing such personal insights and feelings. It has happened to me, or at least something similar, and it happened at a time of real confusion and doubt... almost felt like a loss of faith. It mad me question everything,from what I believed in, to everything I thought I knew about myself, to what I was doing with my life. I faced the darkness and emptiness and felt that the only option open to me was to allow it to consume me.

What actually happened was that the darkness acted like a mirror and showed me the areas of doubt, self hatred, uncertainty and areas in my life that I wasn't happy with. Some I could change then an there, others took longer to change. But, as strange as this may sound, it made my 'faith', my understanding in my spiritual beliefs stronger and gave me everything I needed at that time. It was scary, it shook me to the very core, and it made me realise that there was a darkness in the Universe that could (would?) consume everything if allowed. But for me, my determination to be, to know, to learn and grow.... to fight for the life we all deserve, showed me that I had a greater darkness within me, one filled with life, power, love, and kin.

Az

I think that everyone looks into the void sometimes. I guess it just needs to remind us it's there. Everyone has that black hole inside that calls to the blackness on the outside.

The shocking sense of our own mortality is a terrifying experience and, as much as any of us think we are reconciled with death, its breath on our back always unsettles if not scares the hell out of us.

I think it's what we do with those moments that counts. If we run away screaming and hide our heads under the pillow it means and serves nothing. The fact that you are standing up and questioning makes you stronger and wiser, i think

Thanks guys for your input. I can really see from ya'lls perspective now, and it puts a sense of ease inside myself. That I'm not alone, because as crazy and scary as it seems, I have, still till this day, can't find anybody to talk to, people who are very mundane, have a very difficult time in understanding what exactly I'm trying to talk about. Some even go as far as telling me, "you're crazy...". lol Which, in a sense, crazy is just somebody whom thinks differently than others.

If we all thought the same, this existence would be pointless. "Crazy"; that's another I have been thinking alot about. I can almost understand why those people, the ones we tend to see in psychological thriller movies of people locked up in a white paneled room, screaming nonsense, like, "nothing matters anymore, nothings real", throwing a tantrum. You know *shrugs* the usual. I can almost feel like, that's me right now, in my brain. All this information blooming, things coming together, my soul reliving more past lifetimes, and having even more OBE's.

I am coming to a realization, most people never had this experience I'm living through or have gone through. A ton of ideas and feelings I try to express (sometimes can't), they are clueless. Some atleast, act like they understand, but truelly have no inkling. Which I can't help but laugh about that afterwards.

Hmm any inkling or vibrations you guys are getting about this year? 2012 is meant to have great awakening as many say, I think, this would be a great timing to try and harness any powers we wish to strengthen for the later years, as we shall all need them I believe.


{Laviah}

Hey Laviah

There's a lot happening in the world. People are waking up, the old ones locked within the world are waking up, the Earth's energies are freeing themselves, the dark forces that have kept us all asleep and blind are losing their grip, and we are rising into higher versions of ourselves. We're having to let go of a lot of what's held us back. For you that might be a fear of death or of your darkness. As everyone's said, it can be best to let it "swallow" you, to confront your fear and embrace it instead of running away. This will hopefully stop your panic attacks and help you to have more courage.

The side effects of all of our "waking up" is that there's a ton of energy all over the place that's being released. "Fear" and blocked energy too. The Earth is releasing energy in great burps... sometimes with disasterous consequences for us, when we don't help to work with the releases and merge them into our reality. The state of the world is chaos - we have to flow with it. Fighting against it will cause panic and depression and anger and hopelessness. Accepting it will bring you into your soul's light. In my opinion anyway.

Aloha and stay bless

Ash

That makes a LOT of sense to me. It makes my heart easier. Thank you Ash

::hugs:: All is well

I've been keeping up with this thread, both of out of basic interest, and also as a way of "seeing how the other half live". The sorts of feelings you describe, I will admit are nothing I've ever gone through. I've always been very happy in the dark, I like the void, adopted the name Nightingveil after using Fate for many years, for a reason(s). In the past, I wondered if my lacking a crisis of faith had stopped me from growing spiritually, but I don't think it has. I still do my study, practice in my own ways with different methods on occasion, and ground on the rare occasions I need to by tapping into my kin type's reservoir.

I'm not sure it will work, but I tend to be pretty good at energy absorption, either in person or online. I'm not a psy vamp or anything, I'm just a channel, so possibly next time you feel that way you can send the fear and worry my direction.