Who are you again?

It's no secret that a lot of angels didn't like me. A lot of people didn't think I deserved to be on the Council and I'm sure that's why I was sent to work in other realms and lands; so people didn't have to 'put up' with me as much.

But why does no one remember me?

I carried Metatron's soul Home, I sat at the Council, I remember clear things about the other angelics here, but when it comes to people remembering me it seems like a blank space. It's starting to get mildly distressing. Everyone seems to remember something about each other...and then there's me. I feel that I'm stuck at a point in my awakening because of it, I have nothing to investigate or bounce off of anymore. Not even my mate remembers me.

I have a theory about it but it's not credible so it looks like it's back to the drawing board.

~Capsha

... This is just a shot in the dark, but I'm actually wondering if something happened in which our memories of you were sealed. You said you weren't very well-liked right? Maybe someone decided that everyone was better off NOT remembering you...

Though I don't see why you were so unliked. If anyone thought you were unworthy of being on the Council, then they had their noses stuck up too high in the air.

I believe I've mentioned your name sounding familiar at one point, actually. I unfortunately can't put any memories to the name though.

Well... That's not entirely true, actually.

If I remember ANYTHING about you, it's that I indeed thought that you were worthy—more than worthy—of being on the Council, even if most didn't think so. Now, this MAY just be me, but I seem to remember giving a certain someone a tight hug at some point when she really needed it... and it feels to me like it happened in a desert with the winds and sand whipping around us... It feels like it might have been a "goodbye and good luck"  as well.

~Melari

Melari wrote:

... This is just a shot in the dark, but I'm actually wondering if something happened in which our memories of you were sealed. You said you weren't very well-liked right? Maybe someone decided that everyone was better off NOT remembering you...

Though I don't see why you were so unliked. If anyone thought you were unworthy of being on the Council, then they had their noses stuck up too high in the air.

I believe I've mentioned your name sounding familiar at one point, actually. I unfortunately can't put any memories to the name though.

Well... That's not entirely true, actually.

If I remember ANYTHING about you, it's that I indeed thought that you were worthy—more than worthy—of being on the Council, even if most didn't think so. Now, this MAY just be me, but I seem to remember giving a certain someone a tight hug at some point when she really needed it... and it feels to me like it happened in a desert with the winds and sand whipping around us... It feels like it might have been a "goodbye and good luck"  as well.

~Melari

I think I was unliked because I wasn't created originally as an angel. I'm wondering if I was part of the deal that I could leave to be with Raziel but that no one would remember me because I betrayed everyone :/

I always compared our world to Africa ^.^
There were lots of deserts and rainforests. Like our own tropical getaway

~Capsha

Hi Capsha,

Was your angelic form female? And was there one other female with you most of the time? The reason I ask is I recall speaking with two female angels, giving them orders I guess and thinking I was somewhat superior to them...sorry but the "old" Gabri'el was quite the bastard in the beginning

As an angel did you go by Capsha, or Haniel, or both? Haniel at least seems familiar or like your typical angelic name, but I don't get much from Capsha...

I can see how it's distressing that people don't remember much (or anything?) about you. That would bother me too... And it also bothers me that I don't remember, but there's still a lot I don't remember so that doesn't really mean anything.

If you weren't originally created as an angel, what were you before? Why/how did you betray everyone? Give me something to work with, because usually just a name is not enough for me to remember.

@Gabriel
I was female, yes. At least 99% of the time. I guess I was close to Jophiel and I sent a lot of time around her. She was a hippy lol, and she had the most beautiful hair. The only other female angel I was close to was Ariella, my father's mate. She was somewhat of an angelic step-mum ^.^

@Ariel
Capsha is just my username lol. I was 'born' when my angelic father slept with a human female, creating both Fibreya (who is a half-angel) and me. However I now know that Fibreya was physically born and I was born from their, I'm not sure, energy/essence/soul? Me and Fibreya are twins existing at the same time but on different planes. As for how I betrayed everyone, I explained it in this thread:
https://fallenshadow.darkbb.com/t1123-i-loved-a-god

~Capsha

Hmmmm were the two of you quite bubbly and full of energy? And you two talked a lot If so then yes I do remember you, my memories are a bit foggy and I need to reach deep inside to see clearly but that is what comes to mind

Hope it helps

Gabri'el wrote:

Hmmmm were the two of you quite bubbly and full of energy? And you two talked a lot If so then yes I do remember you, my memories are a bit foggy and I need to reach deep inside to see clearly but that is what comes to mind

Hope it helps

Haha, we had to be! I was an angel of love and joy and she was an angel of peace. We were inseperable, she was like a sister to me.

~Capsha

i tried digging a little bit into it in my own memories, though it's not so much digging now as dredging.... anyway, i focused on your name and got some discussion you(?) and i were having. not entirely sure if it was Haniel, she looked feminine, had sort of short, bob cut hair... the sillhouettes are what come through clearest to me, just the general shape, fyi. was this you? putting names to the faces is always the hardest part.

Razi'el wrote:

i tried digging a little bit into it in my own memories, though it's not so much digging now as dredging.... anyway, i focused on your name and got some discussion you(?) and i were having. not entirely sure if it was Haniel, she looked feminine, had sort of short, bob cut hair... the sillhouettes are what come through clearest to me, just the general shape, fyi. was this you? putting names to the faces is always the hardest part.

Hmm, I don't think so. I had really light blonde hair, almost white, and it was down to my waist.

~Capsha

oh, well then. o,o *kicks his brain*

OH HEY WAIT A COTTONPICKIN' MINUTE!!

erf, curse my infernal inability to put names to faces in my memories! NOW i recognize that description! You sang in the choir, didn't you??? i had a star soprano by that EXACT description, the incredibly long, almost white hair FINALLY has a match!

Razi'el wrote:

OH HEY WAIT A COTTONPICKIN' MINUTE!!

erf, curse my infernal inability to put names to faces in my memories! NOW i recognize that description! You sang in the choir, didn't you??? i had a star soprano by that EXACT description, the incredibly long, almost white hair FINALLY has a match!

LMAO yup! I always think it's hilarious because I'm an alto in this life. I can't get near high notes to save my life.

~Capsha

Hooray! People remember you! Guess you just had to poke us a bit lol :-p

I still don't remember much about you. I can visualize what you looked like easily enough thanks to the description. I feel like you were a good person, light and happy and bubbly. But I also feel like I got annoyed by you sometimes. I think it was because you were TOO nice and I just couldn't take it sometimes heh. I think I also had a feeling of slight superiority like Gabe did. Guess I was a bit of a jerk heh. :-/

Was thinking about you and Jophiel being together a lot and for some reason the name Cassiel kept coming up too. Does that mean anything to you?

This is random, but it kept coming up as I was trying to remember Haniel, so I guess I might as well share it. There was a group of us sitting around a table. Everything was wood, like a cabin, not our usual or formal meeting place. It might have been a council meeting but I'm not sure. I was quiet and feeling annoyed or sullen or something and absentmindedly playing with a dagger, it's point was beginning to bore a hole into the table. There was someone standing up and talking but they were leaning forward with their hands planted on the table. Maybe there was a map there or maybe they had just stood up to make a point, either way, I don't think I was completely paying attention. Then I took the dagger and threw it past the person and buried its tip into the wall... Or maybe I just really wanted to do that. I'm not sure. And that's about it for that memory. No idea what it was about. But that scene kept playing over and over as i was trying to remember Haniel, so maybe there is some connection?

Ari'el wrote:

Hooray! People remember you! Guess you just had to poke us a bit lol :-p

I still don't remember much about you. I can visualize what you looked like easily enough thanks to the description. I feel like you were a good person, light and happy and bubbly. But I also feel like I got annoyed by you sometimes. I think it was because you were TOO nice and I just couldn't take it sometimes heh. I think I also had a feeling of slight superiority like Gabe did. Guess I was a bit of a jerk heh. :-/

Was thinking about you and Jophiel being together a lot and for some reason the name Cassiel kept coming up too. Does that mean anything to you?

This is random, but it kept coming up as I was trying to remember Haniel, so I guess I might as well share it. There was a group of us sitting around a table. Everything was wood, like a cabin, not our usual or formal meeting place. It might have been a council meeting but I'm not sure. I was quiet and feeling annoyed or sullen or something and absentmindedly playing with a dagger, it's point was beginning to bore a hole into the table. There was someone standing up and talking but they were leaning forward with their hands planted on the table. Maybe there was a map there or maybe they had just stood up to make a point, either way, I don't think I was completely paying attention. Then I took the dagger and threw it past the person and buried its tip into the wall... Or maybe I just really wanted to do that. I'm not sure. And that's about it for that memory. No idea what it was about. But that scene kept playing over and over as i was trying to remember Haniel, so maybe there is some connection?

Cassiel rings a bell but I don't remember anything yet.

That scene doesn't bring up anything specific but the cabin does. It was almost like a summer camp cabin and when we were staying there it felt really cramped and like a prison. I was speaking to Raziel about daggers last night, was it curved and had writing on it?

~Capsha

Maybe Cassiel hung out with you and Jophiel?

I'm not sure about the dagger. Either I don't remember or the one I was playing with seemed sorta normal and nondescript. What was this dagger you were talking about? It was definitely a cramped cabin space though. And I think my hair was light brownish at the time instead of my usual white-blond. We were probably somewhere out in the woods and I wanted to be more camoflaged. I'm not sure if you were even there at that meeting. I think something had happened involving you that had upset me. Kindof a "F*ck we lost her. *throw dagger at wall*". Or something.

Ari'el wrote:

Maybe Cassiel hung out with you and Jophiel?

I'm not sure about the dagger. Either I don't remember or the one I was playing with seemed sorta normal and nondescript. What was this dagger you were talking about? It was definitely a cramped cabin space though. And I think my hair was light brownish at the time instead of my usual white-blond. We were probably somewhere out in the woods and I wanted to be more camoflaged. I'm not sure if you were even there at that meeting. I think something had happened involving you that had upset me. Kindof a "F*ck we lost her. *throw dagger at wall*". Or something.

Maybe, I'll need to look into it.

The dagger was just a specific dagger I remember but I don't know why/where I remember it from. I wondered if it could be related to that.

~Capsha

I remember this choir, either Ambriel was on it as well or she liked to watch the group play.

@ Ari'el

I REMEMBER THAT SCENE WITH THE KNIFE!!!!!!! LOL For whatever reason I thought it was great...a very bold move

I also remember Cassiel...I do believe she had dark hair...if it's the same one she was sort of soft spoken and loved animals

@Gabe -
Haha really?!!! Do you know what was going on or what we were talking about or anything? And um, thanks? Lol! XD

Hmmmm not to sure but I feel that whoever was speaking we weren't to fond of lol

Hahaha XD

I don't think anyone messed with your memories as you are not in touch with those memories yet. I remember a lot of angels leaving dieing etc, like it was an everyday thing but at the end of the day death comes for us all unless you were acting as deaths agents. but as far as my memories of you or anyone being fuzzy I can't think of one angel that actually left a lasting impression on me that jumped out and made me go holy crap I remember you. no offense, I guess I was just better off left in the shadows like some of the others