ARCHIVE: Enlightened forums., My form Before and After the fall.

By Abaddon Feb 11 2009 -

I have seen this forum countless times in my memories and in those of others who knew me then and now. Such is only confirmation of the truths when many know the same truth it becomes much more absolute.

I was tall much as I am now about six feet tall. My hair was like silver light platinum in color long past my shoulders my skin was like a glowing white, over my chest I wore armor bearing a crest though this crest I do not fully recall. My eyes where as I have been told “the deepest eyes I have ever seen that hurt just to look at” they where Gold Green Violet and Blue, all in one. My build was one you would expect of a fighter (strong build wide shoulders) for I was considered wrath, warrior like. I bore wings on my back white like the purest light made of the softest feathers though unnecessary for any flight I and many others bore them. I have been told my face was strong beautiful beyond human comparison, but such can be said of all of the enlighten beings beside me where three others and a third whom served me. There names are all written and it is not my place to speak the names of others they will know them as they know me.

After the fall when my flesh burned away like ash from the fire lit with in myself the fire that Lucifer herself says she burned us with erupted. My wings where the first to burn away and as they burned I watched the ashes float into the sky as tears ran down my cheeks and I felt a burning in my chest and I clutched myself in pain as my vary skin started to turn to burnt embers and flake off floating to the heavens. My hands broke threw my skin and I saw claws where I had once known only soft flesh like fingers my skin that remained was covered in my own blood and was red with a texture like leather from my back came a tail with black spines like a dragon running down it my feet lengthen and became like that of a animal my toes became like claws my wins burst from my back like those of dragon wings my teeth became sharp and my eyes burned away leaving behind blood shot remains my hair became black and covered in my own fluids. I saw the first fall near me I ran to them my mind in a state of utter chaos berserks in my rage I tore them apart and crushed there corpses and more fell like fire flies from the sky there wings burned as they descended again and again I killed until I heard a voice in my ear “If you destroy them all who will serve you?” My mind woke as if from a deep sleep and I became aware of myself again the beast within me calmed and I turned to see a face I did not know at first with a voice I had known before. She looked at me smiling her appearance not so different from what I had become though much more female then I she bore skin like mine wings like mine hair like mine claws like mine adorned in the tattered burnt rags we wore before barley covering her form. Such became my wife as she was before in the before. Created for me to ease my loneliness she said. Such is how my life continued for many years until she left and shortly after I did as well to the human realm once more.


By Ishtahar Feb 11 2009 -

That is a very powerful memory. Thank you


By Abaddon Feb 11 2009 -

QUOTE (Ishtahar @ Feb 11 2009, 10:44 PM)
"That is a very powerful memory. Thank you"

Sounds like something you say in a support group. My memories are painful maybe but I don't really think back and go "Damn that really hurt" I just recall the details of what came about and recite it as I recall it.


By Azaz'el Feb 11 2009 -

In many ways what else is there to say to such strong emotions Abaddon, other than thank you for sharing something that is so personal to you. We certainly don't offer just a support group but we do follow the rules of being polite and respectful and so thank members for sharing.

When the memories return to us, they return for a reason and a purpose. The one thing that is sure is that all minds will shut off pain and trauma ....... so when it is remembered, it is done so for a reason. We all have to learn and grow. And this forum is the place in which it can be done safely and securely... as no doubt you will have seen from the memories you have of it.

It may be helpful to remember that no one truth is an absolute.... and this is a place for many truths and many memories so that given time we can all weave our truths together and find the path to Home.

Az


By Abaddon Feb 11 2009 -

QUOTE (Azaz'el @ Feb 11 2009, 11:58 PM)
"In many ways what else is there to say to such strong emotions Abaddon, other than thank you for sharing something that is so personal to you. We certainly don't offer just a support group but we do follow the rules of being polite and respectful and so thank members for sharing.

When the memories return to us, they return for a reason and a purpose. The one thing that is sure is that all minds will shut off pain and trauma ....... so when it is remembered, it is done so for a reason. We all have to learn and grow. And this forum is the place in which it can be done safely and securely... as no doubt you will have seen from the memories you have of it.

It may be helpful to remember that no one truth is an absolute.... and this is a place for many truths and many memories so that given time we can all weave our truths together and find the path to Home.

Az"

Ahh but I think you mistake what my meaning was I have never had anyone to support me, nor do I want support from the others. I exist quite well as I am so I do not ask for pity. The emotions I felt the memories I know are as many as the stars in the sky as you once said nothing is true but that from the source and I am still connected to it. I am not a creature who ask for remorse for pain. I know the pain I felt I just choose to not relive it again and again I did not block out any pain I expressed myself. The beings I spoke of where my direct kin my brothers and sisters whom I held close above any other. Such is not to say you where all worthless at all it is just to say that none of you where ones I knew personally but most however will remember me. As each agreed with me then fell to the other plan.


By Scratch Feb 13 2009 -

"Ahh but I think you mistake what my meaning was I have never had anyone to support me, nor do I want support from the others. I exist quite well as I am so I do not ask for pity."

It sounds like there's mutual misinterpretation going on here. You're the one doing all the talk about pain and pity for it.

"Such is not to say you where all worthless at all..."

Sounds like that still got said, though.

"...none of you where ones I knew personally"

Sure about that?

Thanks for sharing Lucifer is a she, although did you use that particular name so we'd know who you were talking about?


By Seraphyna Feb 13 2009 -

If we're talking about *the* Lucifer, I'm gonna go with zie is either androgynous (like most judeo-christian angels) or a he..seeing as an entire forum of angel-kin I'm on concur that Lucifer (as in the Morningstar) is a he more than anything else.


By Azaz'el Feb 13 2009 -

My experiences and memories of Lucifer have him as being male.... not in an overtly macho way, but certainly more masculine than feminine. However, as with all higher beings like that, their external appearance can flux and change, so it's highly possible that they wouold appear to be different to different people.

Az


By Lael Feb 13 2009 -

Bah. I hate talking in absolutes and I equally hate when someone else does... it always leads to that 'prove it'; 'no, you prove it' dead end. This forum has so far been mostly free from it, and I'm hoping to see it remain so. The golden rules of IMHO, $0.02 et cetera.

That said.

The Morning Star, being essentially an illusion master, is many, many things. Might well be a she to someone, if it served a purpose. An arrogant comment comes to mind, for which I apologize but won't refrain from making: the likes of me have been deceiving the likes of Abaddon far longer than anyone cares to remember.

*holds up hands* Peace. smile.gif


By Azaz'el Feb 13 2009 -

You're a wicked child Lael!!! tongue.gif

This forum will remain free of the arguements regarding absolutes. There are no absolutes, there never has been, and those of us old enough to be around in the 'early' days know that only too well.

We all have our own experiences, that's what makes us who and what we are and why we are here.

Az


By Lael Feb 13 2009 -

Oh, I've been called wicked before, Az. Not many have dared call me a child, however. tongue.gif biggrin.gif Indeed, not many have done so and lived to tell the tale.
;-)


By Azaz'el Feb 14 2009 -

Then I am honoured to still be breathing without a scratch!! wink.gif

Az


By Abaddon Mar 7 2009 -

QUOTE (Lael @ Feb 13 2009, 11:35 PM)
"Bah. I hate talking in absolutes and I equally hate when someone else does... it always leads to that 'prove it'; 'no, you prove it' dead end. This forum has so far been mostly free from it, and I'm hoping to see it remain so. The golden rules of IMHO, $0.02 et cetera.

That said.

The Morning Star, being essentially an illusion master, is many, many things. Might well be a she to someone, if it served a purpose. An arrogant comment comes to mind, for which I apologize but won't refrain from making: the likes of me have been deceiving the likes of Abaddon far longer than anyone cares to remember.

*holds up hands* Peace. smile.gif

Deception is a tool of liars and such I have no time nor patients for. I am not here to argue I am here to show what I remember. I have nothing to prove to demons such as you. Lucifer however is always chaining sex, few of us remain constant in that respect. I personally enjoy being male and I have been forced into male shells all my existence. You either respect me or fall, like all the rest did. Lucifer is currently Female so I name her as her current shell dictates.


By Abaddon Mar 7 2009 -

QUOTE (Scratch @ Feb 13 2009, 02:51 AM)
""Ahh but I think you mistake what my meaning was I have never had anyone to support me, nor do I want support from the others. I exist quite well as I am so I do not ask for pity."

It sounds like there's mutual misinterpretation going on here. You're the one doing all the talk about pain and pity for it.

"Such is not to say you where all worthless at all..."

Sounds like that still got said, though.

"...none of you where ones I knew personally"

Sure about that?

Thanks for sharing Lucifer is a she, although did you use that particular name so we'd know who you were talking about?"

You should quill your tongue. I told what I do not wish yet you take my words from there context and try to manipulate there meaning. I do not approve of such mockery.


By Seraphyna Mar 7 2009 -

I would preface this with "I'm sorry, but..." but I'm not sorry for what I'm about to say as I feel it's warranted. Threaten me with your wrath...whatever...I don't care.

Abbadon, this is how you're coming off "I'm right, I'm awesome, respect me because I'm better than you are".

I'm known for wielding the hammer of logic in the otherkin community and you honestly are striking me as needing a good thwap with it. Regardless of what you believe yourself to be, you're human now...you have beliefs, not truths, and could very well be deluding yourself (as could we all).

The entire point of forums is self exploration, finding a place to discuss with others who won't automatically call us "crazy" (or some derivative) our memories/theories/etc...it isn't so we can sound uber awesome. The more you post like you just did, the more you get an rolleyes.gif from me.

Hell, that might mean nothing to you...afterall I'm a name on a screen that may or may not ring a bell for you....but just so you know, the way you type hits me as pure cockyness and points out that you've lost sight of reality in this life...and right now this life is all that truly matters...not what we may or may not have been before.


By Lael Mar 7 2009 -

QUOTE (Abaddon @ Mar 7 2009, 04:42 AM)
"I have nothing to prove to demons such as you."


In this statement alone you've proved all your claims to be false, since a true one of your supposed rank and skill would know and see that I am no demon, and I never have been.

Also:

QUOTE (Abaddon @ Mar 7 2009, 04:42 AM)
"You either respect me or fall"


Trust me or not, it really isn't that simple and it doesn't work that way, kid.

I am officially offended, but that's fine, as I don't particularly mind poseurs building up their self-image on insults carelessly tossed around. It will come back to bite you where it hurts. Reality is your friend. Reacquaint yourself with it and get off your high horse.

Good day to you. smile.gif


By Azaz'el Mar 7 2009 -

Whilst I believe that all of the members of this forum have the ability to look after their own interests and have the confidence to stand proud and fast to what they know to be their truth, there are times when I feel the need to jump in as Admin. This is one of those times.

Abaddon, let me remind you that one of the strongest rules of this forum is that ALL members treat ALL other members with respect. You may not agree with what anyone says, but you will abide by the rules of my house. I am surprised by your behaviour and I trust that you will respect my wishes in this.

No one member here has the absolute truth - if they did, they certainly wouldn't still be incarnate and posting on a forum. We are all here to share, and share we will, but as Kin, as friends, not always agreeing but always with respect.

Please remember this,

Azaz'el


By Abaddon Mar 8 2009 -

QUOTE (Azaz'el @ Mar 7 2009, 11:45 PM)
"Whilst I believe that all of the members of this forum have the ability to look after their own interests and have the confidence to stand proud and fast to what they know to be their truth, there are times when I feel the need to jump in as Admin. This is one of those times.

Abaddon, let me remind you that one of the strongest rules of this forum is that ALL members treat ALL other members with respect. You may not agree with what anyone says, but you will abide by the rules of my house. I am surprised by your behaviour and I trust that you will respect my wishes in this.

No one member here has the absolute truth - if they did, they certainly wouldn't still be incarnate and posting on a forum. We are all here to share, and share we will, but as Kin, as friends, not always agreeing but always with respect.

Please remember this,

Azaz'el"

I was being insulted, respect your rules when I am not being treated with them? I frankly don't see how you can overlook one wrong, while I am bashed.


By Ishtahar Mar 8 2009 -

This is a place of safety for everyone to feel free to speak as they choose, provided that it is with respect.

Abaddon, you were not insulted. If you thought that you were then you did not learn the lesson that was meant in what was said

Too many people take offence too easily and personally I don't think that it is ever productive. We should learn by our mistakes and those of others.


I very much hope that things can calm down and that we can all get on with learning from each other, not only in what is said but in how it is said, received and responded to.


By Azaz'el Mar 8 2009 -

Abaddon, I always carefully examine all the rules and all the posts. You began the name calling in what was an interesting discussion where many members didn't agree but were willing to discuss their differing points of view.

Discussion is allowed, name calling isn't. This ends here.

Az