ARCHIVE: strange desires

By Hope May 2 2008 -

well simply put... i have this constant urge to get away from people, i prefer isolation but do not favor just human company bothers me and i'm speculative of each... i can't bring myself to trust a single one, just last night i heard a sound, i was sleeping and from a total sleep i got into a position to kick in the direction of the sound in about a second, fully awake with my heart racing. only later i something popped into my head telling me it was a noise and what it sounded like, realizing then it was the air conditioner.


By Ishtahar May 2 2008 -

That must be difficult.

I think we are all feeling jumpy and nervous at the moment


By Azaz'el May 2 2008 -

I have to admit that i had a strange experience too, which I found very frightening .... yet there was nothing scary about it!

I woke up at around 4 am yesterday morning (the morning of Beltane) screaming my limgs out and feeling terrified. I had jumped awake from a dream...... in the dream I had gone downstairs into my lounge after waking up only to find someone standing watching me. He was standing in front of my hearth and I have no idea what he looked like, other than he was very tall, and he scared the life out of me. As soon as I saw him I knew it would be the end, so I ran to him, shouting......... and so woke up screaming.

I'm usually pretty good at understanding my dreams, but this one leaves me confused. Anyone have any thoughts on it?

Hope you don't mind me jumping in and adding my expereience here Hope,

Az


By Dreamsend May 14 2008 -

Hope, is it that you want isolation and company at the same time? I feel like that a lot. I can certainly understand if it's purely isolation you seek, but I personally relate to being around masses of people and wanting to escape, and then being alone and feeling the great need to be around others. It's a never-ending cycle of sorts ^^. I hope it doesn't get too bad for you, or that you're abelt o find peaceful moments from time to time. That's important.


Az, maybe it was your lover from the past life, this Dani'el? You mentioned that you knew as soon as you saw him it would be the end (in your dream)?


By Azaz'el May 14 2008 -

I don't get the gut feeling that it was Dani'el..... if it had been I doubt I would have been rushing to him shouting ..... I'd have other things on my mind!!!! wink.gif

Az


By Dreamsend May 15 2008 -

I see XD...


By Scratch Sep 11 2008 -

QUOTE (Azaz'el @ May 2 2008, 10:39 PM)
"He was standing in front of my hearth and I have no idea what he looked like, other than he was very tall, and he scared the life out of me. As soon as I saw him I knew it would be the end, so I ran to him, shouting......... and so woke up screaming.

I'm usually pretty good at understanding my dreams, but this one leaves me confused. Anyone have any thoughts on it?"

Well, my gut reaction was that it could have been a man I dreamed about once, very lucidly. It was a strange experience in itself, because my own thought processes almost woke me before the end, but the dream broke through my thoughts enough for me to hear what he said: my name.

I was standing at the end of a long hallway, which was bright white at my end, and I thought either too long to see the end of, or shrouded in darkness. Then, looking closer, I could see there was a very tall man standing at the other end of the hall, and somehow the darkness was radiating from him. As I realized this, space bent (I saw it, but don't know if I could describe it) and the next instant he was standing directly in front of me.

I've had dreams in which I was shot in the head, falling from cliffs, and going to drown. I've narrowly escaped death, or at least terrible injury, several times in my waking life. I've been hit and strangled by a former spouse. Looking into that man's eyes is still the most terrifying thing I've experienced, even when I had no idea why.

He was an immense black man swathed in a black cloak or coat, too dark to even properly see the lines of the fabric, with waist-length dreadlocks completely covering his face, until he raised his head and they parted exactly like a theatre curtain. I thought I would be struck dead where I stood, and it would be painful and cruel, with no salvation or relief. But I also knew if I had any self-respect or worth at all, I couldn't turn from his gaze. I was dead whether I stood or ran, so I might as well go with dignity, but there was something deeper to it than that as well.

I must have trembled like a leaf. I couldn't feel anything but my eyes staring into his, until he smirked at me. That filled me with a sudden, red-tinged indignation that brought me back around. He smirked at ME! Suddenly all the pride I'd spent most of my life trying to beat down was up and ready to hit him. Suddenly I was haughty, still afraid but not frightened, and it felt as if he were meeting my gaze. The smirk turned imperceptibly to a smile, like I'd passed a test, and he said:

I like to name things.
I like to give people names.
I'm going to call you...

This was the part that almost woke me up. I flew into such ecstatic speculation about what he would say. As I mentioned in a previous post, I've had so many names, identities, and personas. I sensed whatever this man called me would be the argument-settler, the name to end all names. Part of me was trying to wake up, afraid of what it would be, part of me held that gaze and waited until I heard:

Scratch.

I slapped awake completely then, thinking "That's it? Scratch? SCRATCH?! What the hell kind of a name is that?" I was so confused - until I told a friend this dream at the end of a conversation, about a month later. He was a big black guy, very perceptive when he wasn't afraid of it, but with no knowledge of this dream of mine (he was the first I told), and no triggers in the conversation leading into it. He started telling me about how an islander woman, he forgot where from, gave him a very nice blanket once. When he asked why, she explained that in her culture Death was a big black man like him.

I don't know if this is any help to you AZ, but that was very brave of you to run at him like that.