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 My past

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Abraxas



Posts : 10
Join date : 2012-11-10

PostSubject: My past   Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:54 am

Once again my frustration with so much of my memory is that it's so fragmented and disconnected. Let me start by saying. I know I had serious hostility and fear towards a post-corruption Ba'al. I know I identify with Aion, Serapis, and Phanes, all of which I feel like were some of my names in different times in different places. My fundamental understanding of myself is a blend of those things which do not belong together, of order and chaos. Where the darkness meets the light is my place of origin. I am the 8th where there once was 7. The whole that is more than its parts. What happens when a black hole and a sun of equal mass enter each other's gravitational field? This is the best analogy I have for my nature. I see myself in the Ouroboros. I also have some knowledge of how I got this way. I think... I think someone was running some sort of experiments on the corruption, and I had been affected. I was a test subject that was given part of a light fae soul, as their energy seemed unaffected by the darkness. The result, was something that was not meant to be. Darkness and light being one in the same. I see myself shrouded in white fire, a blazing set of armor, and residing on a white throne, but the edges of the flame are black, as are the edges of the armor. I have large silvery wings, like metallic almost, and black...tentacles. I also remember something being mentioned by the scientist about needing to place some sort of primordial beast inside me as well as a stabilizing mechanism for the whole process. It and I have distinctly separate thoughts, identities, voices. We've learned to respect each other as old rivals sometimes do after their competing is through. This next part is going to sound kind of insane. I think... I think Lucifer is my son. He was my attempt at a Messiah. I was the pragmatist though, not the idealist that God was. I didn't understand the idea of hope as I do now. How that's what the ideal instills more than all else. I can't help but feel some resentment towards Lucifer's treatment sometimes, regardless. If anyone has any other information on this, any theories don't hesitate to let me know.
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