Experiences of Shadow ::

Well, being new; I may be stepping on toes as I might be posting this on the wrong wall, I apologise if I am, yet...

Since, as I said in my introduction, about the age of 22 - I have had some of the most intense dreams, which lead me of course to an almost obsessive compulsion toward dream study/work/walking/research (I am a psychologist now, focusing on night terrors and ptsd dream disorders) and still, I can not rationalise even mine, to such a degree that I left my field preemptively about 2 years ago to spend time focusing on spiritual development of myself and those I am priest to in an (yes im saying it) Avalonian nemeton. I am now 30.

As I came up in my ways; I took up an ancestral path of old Gods, the old titans as well as the ones on Olympus. It was sooner than later my ways came up in me - I found I no longer had control it seemed to much of what was going on in my own life. Someone here has referred to this as the 'awakening', and I think I may be using that reference if not somewhat loosely, here.

As I can recall however, as this is an experience which has come more and more lately since having taken some personal time to focus and ground out, while driving across country.

There is a woman, who comes to me; only usually when I have been sleeping and she shows me a very egregious death - suffered by yours truly. In this dream, where the woman named Ithuriel is explaining to me "Brother. It is coming now again and you must remember! You have to open your eyes forgotten one. Or you will perish"

Now, years ago as I said with the vivid dreaming - there was a dream of mine: I am sitting in the middl of a forest, in the center of this forest is a beautifully adorned white-stone building, maison provencel style it looked to me, but the age I was in makes this impossible.

I was sitting near a roughly placed garden full of Rose, Persimmon and the obligatory pomegranate.
I could never see many of the other around me... I could hear no sounds (which for me in dream is odd) and suddenly I was destroyed...

The ONLY element of it all that WAS surely real, was this Ithuriel came to me screaming - I knew I was gone.

**Dreams of Lilitu, Dreams of Cerridwen and the *OLD* ones of Avalonia.
**Dreams of ancient Warring Greece, Crete as she is overrun, myself and kin (neph)
attempting to save who we could.
**I have begun to experience, 'daylight hallucinations' (for want of a better word) where I can 'see' in faded colour, the memories I have only before now... Dreamt of.

I don't know what this does for anyone, if anything... Just my contribution.

Γεννήθηκε των Ανδρών. Πλαστά των Θεών. Does this translate correctly to mean thatyou are born a human but one of the old one's by spirit?

Ouza

First, believe that nothing is impossible. One period is influenced by another and what might seem out of place might be an echo or a premonition.

I have some experience of Atlantis; not a happy memory but nonetheless, I was there and I was a priestess and I sacrificed my own son in the belief it would save us. Clearly it didn't and my son was not the only child's blood on my hands before the end came.

I remember washing up on a shore, I don't know where and kneeling in the sand screaming and sobbing and then climbing onto a cliff with the intention of throwing myself off. I don't remember whether I did or didn't but I know that I didn't go on for long after that. I also know that in every life since I have had a desperate longing, whenever I am near the sea, to go home.

As for the rest, awakening it is whatever other words you might want to use... enlightenment, uncovering old memories, whatever. You are awakening to your past and your potential.

No one can tell you what's right and what's wrong and, if they try, they will be reminded that no one judges here. As much as it sucks you have to come to your own understanding and no one has the right to tell you that that understanding is wrong.

Cerridwen is familiar to me. She is a Celtic goddess, a witch and a priestess. She has dominion over herbs and potions, death and regrowth and also in the teaching of neophytes.

As with Ish, I have experiences with Ceridwen and other of the old "celtic" Gods.

All dreams contain power, as you know being trained in the profession that you are. However, some dreams link us directly to our past, and memories can be mixed with symbols so make a landscape both familiar and new, offering us the chance to be guided down the path of memory in order to learn not only who were were but also how that impacts upon and influences the life we lead now. Your dreams could well be a mix of memory and new landscape in which you can learn and relearn.

Az

Ouza wrote:

Γεννήθηκε των Ανδρών. Πλαστά των Θεών. Does this translate correctly to mean thatyou are born a human but one of the old one's by spirit?

Ouza

It translates from greek to " Born of Men, forged by the Gods"

I like that one!

Ouza

Heh, thank you it's been my signature and point of exercise for many years.

I agree with Ouza, I do like that signature and meaning!!



Az

Well, it all sounds familiar in one way or another. Lilitu, the old Avalon... but the meaning is in the details.

If you would, would you describe your dreams? Would you describe this death that Ithuriel shows you? By the by, do you know who Ithuriel is? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ithuriel first line primarily)