ARCHIVE: how am i feeling?, just describing how i feel at the mo

By Laeus Jun 16 2009 -

everything is moving a million miles per hour, except you. your slow, tired, drained. and also invisible, this feeling is more than mundane. it is the extremeties of mundane. a vibration so low that no one can feel you, you do your thing whilst everyone does thiers, you do it repetitivly and routinly, everyday drags by as you go through it. you make plans which never come to life, you plan your day but then get turned onto something else. like a lifeless drone you do these things because you have to. but then it flips, you become frantic as everything becomes slow, you want to do a million things at a time but you can not decide which is more important, you try to plan your day but you move so fast and make so many plans that they all blur and your not sure what your doing. you feel like you should be doing something important, you NEED to do something. then you become frustrated that you haven't achieved anything. together all these feeling make you feel lost, you are either too slow or too fast, you will never be the same as them. you see yourself standing in a crowd with bright lights and shadowy figures spinning around you, your wings have dissipated to almost non existance, your aura is fading. everything is a blur, but so are you. nothing makes sense and it feels like nothing ever will, all you want to do is give up and SCREAM!


By Ouza Jun 16 2009 -

Screaming and Yelling do me wonders sometimes but, I'm getting to damn old for that! I'm going to have to shift into a different mode of attack! <----Not!!!!!!!! Yet!!!!!!! aaGH!!!!!

user posted image

Ouza

p.s. As the following song suggests "Don't worry, Be Happy ???"
and ... always keep the Faith! Even, if it's in your own misery!


By Azaz'el Jun 16 2009 -

There are always cycles within cycles within cycles........ there are times when the energy flowing around and through us moved from being energetic and vibrant to being sluggsh and stagnant. That is normal. However, the flow of energy right now is in a state of flux, neither one thing mor another. But what we can be sure of if the hot, fetid stench of death and change.

We live in interesting times and those times are also changing. We have to go with the flow of energy, we cannot change the Universe yet........ but it is guiding and teaching us... use these moments to understand your own concept and view of time and work with the 5 great spirits so that you know your place right now.

Az


By Scratch Jun 18 2009 -

Things make a helluva lot more sense after the fact than at the time. Believe me, there can be a lot of sense in nonsense, and nonsense in sense. It's all perspectives, and I felt like that about so many things that fell into place later.

Do what you have to to persevere, because there's no such thing as giving up. Not anything but happiness, anyway


By Ishtahar Jun 18 2009 -

So that's why I keep talking nonsense... because it makes a lot of sense... of course... Remember that Az.... smile.gif


By Azaz'el Jun 18 2009 -

Ish, everything you say makes the most perfect sense approximately 12 years after you said it. So, remember that conversation we had 1997? Yay!!! Go for it girl!

tongue.gif

Az


By Ouza Jun 19 2009 -

Mind and Memory can be like a steel trap!!!

Total recall can be a blessing as well, and can also be a curse although sometimes, I like the idea of having the photographic memory one the best.

Would have come in handy when, I was so called flunking school way back those many many centuries ago!

Why do they call it Math ... like that ???? Because of course, it's a bear !!! (Mathew)-The Celtic translation!

Ouza tongue.gif

user posted image


By Ishtahar Jun 20 2009 -

You know.... I do remember a conversation we had in 1997... April 1997 to be precise... just before my wedding? Do you remember.... it was the one where we first talked about adopting each other.

I remember as part of that conversation we talked about the fact that we have been physically separated... you couldn't come to the wedding... but that we were forever joined in ways that could not be broken... not by anything... remember that tonight.

Ish


By Azaz'el Jun 21 2009 -

I do remember that.......... my mind is becoming clearer on a great many things!!

It was an interesting conversation........ if only we knew then what we know now!

I don't think I could ever forget the link that joins us to each other, and the link that joins us to the other Grigori. Some bonds can never be broken, no matter what they do to us.

Az