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 Thoughts on How to Live in this Community

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PostSubject: Thoughts on How to Live in this Community   Thoughts on How to Live in this Community EmptyFri Mar 08, 2013 3:19 am

As our community has grown and developed, we've noticed trends that have occurred over and over, especially among new members. This has led us, the moderators to discuss, from time to time, how we can help new members into forum life in the easiest way possible. We've been working on this idea for some time and believe the following post might help, new members and existing members alike.

We all stumble through life. Once we stumble on memories of places, forms, and peoples that are not of the planet we know, things get a little more confusing. Likewise, we all search for order. Once we know that we're not what we seem to be, that we might have been or have loved "other" then we search for order immediately, and for answers. We each know that it is frustrating coming into even a hint of knowledge with no guides, no books, no ANSWERS on how to be or how to proceed.

We've been there, and come through the paths that you tread, and because we value the process and what it has given us, we need you to know that Shadow of the Fallen is first and foremost a community. That means that you will find friends, compatriots, a safe space to breathe, to explore and to connect. But you won't find answers. Not immediately.

In the Shadow of the Fallen forum, you will find likeminded people who are interested in you. People who have been through struggles and perhaps found answers of their own. People who know how important it is to find each other out here in the wilderness, and who value the strength that is found in the bonds that we forge. People who remember what it is to wander over lifetimes through the wastes surrounded by enemies or worse, people who just don't get you. To be separate is a slow and agonizing death. We need each other.

So, take time to get to know us. As time marches on the community becomes larger and older. Take time to read through the oldest conversations, to see what we've been through together. Take time to familiarize yourself with the members and their stories. Most of all, remember that you will likely provide yourself with your own answers. That will take time. We hate waiting. I hated waiting. It was hell. But all I could do was share a little, tell a joke, make a friend, and keep working on myself. I read books, I meditated, I compared and contrasted and I paid attention. It took a long time.

For those of us that remember the most, you will find that we didn't get it overnight, and we largely didn't get it from other people. We got the knowledge that meant the most to us from our own revelations. Sometimes those revelations came with a group - that we had bonded with and gotten to know over years. Those were some of the best times, revealing shared memories. But we still had to do all of the work ourselves.

It is tempting when you first arrive to post everything you know and say "What do you remember about me?" But what will happen is that no one will know anything about you. Because you are still a stranger. When we say in your intro post "have some chocolate," "pull your seat up to the fire," "kick off your boots," we mean it. Take your time with us.

Also, you will likely notice that there are some "names" here. Those "names" were not arrived at lightly, or overnight, and usually took years of searching. Neither were they revealed to the rest of us lightly or as if it was NBD. We knew what we were saying when we said it and what it meant, and were prepared to deal with the consequences - all of the consequences. So, I implore you to take time with yourself. You might "know" without a doubt who you are, but we don't. It is much easier to take you seriously if you give the "name" you carry the full weight and contemplation that it deserves.

Get to know us. We are people just like you.

Let us get to know you. We are wanting to meet as many of our friends, relatives, heck even enemies as possible.

It's great to meet you.

Now, let's talk.


Ashtart 3/2013
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Posts : 162
Join date : 2012-12-09
Age : 29
Location : Texas

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PostSubject: Re: Thoughts on How to Live in this Community   Thoughts on How to Live in this Community EmptyFri Mar 08, 2013 10:05 pm

I was actually going to through a period of wondering and wandering, in a more negative way, about if I should still come here because sometimes I feel like I'm intruding on intimate conversations between old friends. I do have a lot to say... but I'm not sure how to explain it. I do have memories, but I don't know how valid they are. I do want to know, but sometimes I get afraid that I'll sound stupid.

But... after reading this, I'm starting to get that feeling of being warmly welcomed again Smile I think I need to take my time with you guys and myself as well. I think what I need to overcome while my time on this site and on this plane is to realize I don't have to feel like I'm the only one going through this, because I'm not Smile. Thank you for posting this Ashtart, and thank you all who made me feel welcome. I really do treasure kindness like yours.

I also treasure chocolate sharing time I love you
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Join date : 2010-02-05
Age : 57
Location : Wales

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PostSubject: Re: Thoughts on How to Live in this Community   Thoughts on How to Live in this Community EmptySat Mar 09, 2013 10:04 am

Someone once told me that the only stupid question is the one you didn't ask. So never be afraid to ask Smile In many ways we're ALL old friends here, no matter how long you're been on the forum.
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