ARCHIVE: New member and Heritage, Possible grigori and Heritage

By Eshtar Aug 28 2009 -

For a long time (no I am not a role player or someone looking to gbe special) I felt and knew I was very different. I knew my real father was NOT human by any means. For years mom always said how he changed after they married and had kids. (my sisters severly handdicapped) He became abusive like a different veiw just changed. Later I was pulled and allured to the Occult. (ya most are at this age) But something pulled me. In my 20s (I am now 27) the visions and more feelings started. visions of a war fire and screams. (Ishtar I MIGHT know you...) Seeing a female being taken away by some soldiers.. and a scream that was so loud... I saw Angels (possibly Grigori) fight to save both Watcher and human lives. I was still then and to this day pulled to the fallen and Grigori most of all. Anything old testemant, and book of Enoch dealing with the fall. (not sure about the First War in Heaven) The Grigori allred me most of all and one called Azazel. To this day I feel a connection I STILL cannot explain or put in words. IF I have angelic heritage I tell you i am not 6 feet tall I am acualy short only 4'11" . What i am seeing and still see haunts me every day. I seek others so much who know how I feel and what i am without being judged and called a bullshitter. (like I was called by the damn cult of Cuthullu) An Elf though acualy called me a grigori whitch shocked me a few months back. I want to so much meet others like myself. I really hope I can. And thank you.


By Azaz'el Aug 28 2009 -

Greetings and welcome to the forum, Eshtar

its always good to see new members and I hope that you feel welcome here and enjoy finally being with people who are perhaps very much like you.

This forum, as you can see, is aimed at all who have a link to the Shadow, but especially to all of us Fallen and Grigori, and those who have links to us and our cause. The few comments you have shared with us here in your post resonate strongly. That last battle was a painful and difficult time, somthing we need to remember and face yet its also something mostof us really don't want to remember.

As for your heritage, that is something that right now, only you can find out and understand. For most of us, the process of the Fall not only ripped our souls from this Universe, it also ripped apart our memories so we are all fragmented and here to help each other. One thing you should know is that none of us have the physical appearance that we once had........ there may be slight hints in our appearance, but certainly not in height. Most of us Shadow feel trapped in bodies that are too small!!!

I'm looking forward to finding out and remembering what our possible links may be, as you mention feeling a link to Azazel. My first reaction is to ask if you remember being in the Temple?

Welcome to the forum,

Azaz'el


By Eshtar Aug 28 2009 -

Was the Temple almost roman or Greek Looking and kind of by a Quiet sea? with a city (not a human city I don't think) in a distance? if so I was there not long ago.. With an Angel as I described umm in an e-mail I sent you...And why I say not long ago is something happened not long ago probibly last year.. dealing with the well Shadow telling me I had to leave "he" should not be here. I had the choice to leave and when I did my wings turned from pure white to greish silver...


By Seraphyna Aug 29 2009 -

Welcome smile.gif Are you saying that your current human father is not human? Or that your father of your memories wasn't human?


By Scratch Aug 29 2009 -

My sister has Asperger's and ADHD, and been overmedicated most of her life. I always had a sort of fearful guilt that she distracted our parents from me, so I wouldn't wind up on meds.

Sounds like this is a way to at least talk to people who have similar experiences. I'm sure many things you've mentioned sound familiar to a lot of us. It seems a lot more, um, "normal?" if you can put it into words. At the very least, there's open-mindedness, and good advice in my experience here.

Welcome!


By Eshtar Aug 29 2009 -

QUOTE (Seraphyna @ Aug 29 2009, 02:35 AM)
"Welcome smile.gif Are you saying that your current human father is not human? Or that your father of your memories wasn't human?"

I do not even know my current "human" father so ya possibly i am. I have a step father at this time I never knew my real father.


By Eshtar Aug 29 2009 -

QUOTE (Scratch @ Aug 29 2009, 08:20 AM)
"My sister has Asperger's and ADHD, and been overmedicated most of her life. I always had a sort of fearful guilt that she distracted our parents from me, so I wouldn't wind up on meds.

Sounds like this is a way to at least talk to people who have similar experiences. I'm sure many things you've mentioned sound familiar to a lot of us. It seems a lot more, um, "normal?" if you can put it into words. At the very least, there's open-mindedness, and good advice in my experience here.

Welcome!"

ya the ADHAD and such I have as well it seems common in us and humans it seems. I once found a site that had to do with "Angelic DNA" I no longer can find it it was on an old comp I had.


By Ouza Aug 29 2009 -

Always... "Welcome Home"

It's time to... "walk the walk and talk the talk!"

Ouza 333