|
| An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- | |
|
+5Ari'el Razi'el Gypsy Azaz'el valthasar 9 posters | |
Author | Message |
---|
valthasar
Posts : 162 Join date : 2010-04-25 Age : 57 Location : AL US
| Subject: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Tue Aug 24, 2010 12:31 pm | |
| Of course I'm not looking to upset anyone here, however I believe some things should be shared for anyone who might be interested in this perspective about answers. =)
What do I know?
These are things I do know.
Some of the 200 are in bodies, some are not. Some incarnated into a body previously, some will never incarnate into a body again and I don't believe that really matters one way or the other as to who is in a body and who isn't. Not having a physical body in this existence I live in as my reality didn't stop T from accomplishing the one thing he desired the most, which was finding me.
That said, the ten thousand year punishment was over several thousand years ago. Because of that, T doesn't need to be freed because he already endured his ten thousand year punishment, so he is allowed to come and go at will, which he exerts being able to do quite often now that he has found me, which has been almost three years ago.
I know that some of the 200 who are not in bodies are still in communication with each other. Two have been seen together in the same place at the same time by someone other than myself. The person who told me about this gave me far too many details for it to have been otherwise. I know who the two of them were and personally, I think it's great that they are able to communicate and come and go at will. Why and how? Because the ten thousand year punishment/torture is ended.
That means they are no longer being punished.
To me, the closest thing to punishment is those who are incarnated into human bodies now, for lack of a better way to put it. Lessons to be learned are things like putting away the Us versus Them mentality and all of the control issues that go along with that. Once those things are learned, there is room for far more progression in the memories of the past, the hows and why of all of this and such things.
Fortunately for me, T had quite obviously gotten well past that and told me upon me figuring out who he was that such thoughts were to be of the past because that was when they occurred--in the past. Yes, the past has much to do with who we are, however we have to move beyond it in order to have our future together.
Because I trust him beyond implicitly, that was not a problem for me to do. I far more anticipated our future together and desired to focus on that far more than I wanted to dissect our past and try to figure things out in a backward manner. Because I was able to do that, I have been given so many answers about the past, and it's been an amazing gift. =)
Those of you who regularly have a read here will know I'm not prone to running off at the fingers, so I genuinely hope that something in this post will make sense to some of you in some manner or another.
T and I have had things work out to where we will have our time together in the future--that we have been given official word of, plus had other confirmation from elsewhere, so I have absolutely no concern that anyone was forgotten by "Source" or anything like that. That said, have I become religious and do I darken the doors of church or participate in organized religion or even unorganized religion? No, indeed not! LOL
What I do know is T gave me splinters of memories. I compiled the short pieces into some semblance of order and the progression of events is nothing short of well, there are not enough good words to describe it--miraculous is one, amazing is another. But those words are so inadequate when it comes to trying to explain our past. He gave me the memories of how we met, how our relationship grew, and other information which was important to us now.
The key seems to be acceptance. Once acceptance is achieved, many answers come forth, some of which are nothing short of awesome, miraculous, and amazing. I was able to get past the realization that T was punished for ten thousand years for having married me and that I was killed by one of his brothers. Yes, it's still a big realization, but it's like not just the realization of it, but the accepting it, this happened and we are not able to change it, so let's move on to see what lies ahead.
The few times he was allowed to incarnate, he is now giving me the memories of so I will know our history together--it's definitely been an adventure. Those memories make us who we are, so they are important, and yet we aren't concentrating on them to the point of not moving forward toward the future.
Yes, I know, not all of the 200 took human wives and not all of them were paired with another of any kind. That doesn't matter. What's important is accepting the events of the past and then looking toward the future to see what is next.
Some of the information I've been given has made me realize how very fortunate I have been to have been me, in spite of some of the things in my past. It's been difficult at times, but so very worth it, not just with my wonderful husband and our children, but also with T. It's been nothing short of "Wow! What could be next?! What could be any better than this?!" And yet I find that every day, that is the sort of thing I wake up saying--how much better could things be? (Yes, we all have stuff to contend with--need to take the truck for a brake job next week, must contend with putting away six loads of clean laundry, etc. But overall, yeah, it's been a rocking awesome experience for the most part.)
Some of you are still struggling with things of the past. I wish you all the best in trying to sort tings out. "Home" is not here. I know I can tell you that much and I know some of you will believe me. Some of you will think I am running off at the fingers.
I guess I just wanted some of you to know that it's possible to gain back that which was lost, be it a short time ago, or thousands of years ago. I have had so much restored back to me that I can't even begin to explain it to you and the promise of what is to come is even more restoration.
Please don't give up if you're still struggling with sorting all this out. You aren't lost, you aren't alone. Focus on what can be restored, not what was lost, if there is anything I can say to you that might help, maybe it is that. You just have to look for that one sliver of light of acceptance in the tunnel and work your way toward it. When you come out on the other end and see all that was, you will be amazed. I know I was. And yet there is even more still to come. Wow! | |
| | | Azaz'el Admin
Posts : 1084 Join date : 2010-02-02 Age : 55 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:21 pm | |
| Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience with us all, it can often be a scary thing to step forward and say "this is how it is for me.". I don't know if you felt any trepidation in writing all that you have, but as you know, everyone has the right to be open and post what they feel and know is right for them.
We all have individual experiences and all have a different awareness of what took place, and what we know happened to us. For me, my personal experience is that my own imprisonment, torture and Exile didn't end several thousand years ago, for me it ended when I incarnated in this life. But that being said, we are all different and have all different experiences and wards placed upon us.
Whilst I believe that the whole issue of 'them and us' is ridiculous and should not be a consideration with regard to unification, the Shadow I have encountered and had communication with still view us..... Or perhaps still view me and my views.... As being diametrically opposed to theirs. So I will keep trying to unite all Shadow and bring about unification before the chances of an easy union pass and we are faced with a forced union to face potential threats.
I do feel that I look forward to a happier future, with all of us united, all of us with the links and bonds of kin, brotherhood and fellowship once more. Yet for me personally, there are still tasks that I face and need to complete before I can hang up my wings and settle with Dan, be it in whatever form or life or universe that lies before us.
Az | |
| | | valthasar
Posts : 162 Join date : 2010-04-25 Age : 57 Location : AL US
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:44 pm | |
| You're welcome. I had wanted to post that for a while now, but hadn't. I wasn't sure anyone would want to read anything I had to say about it because well, now my perspective may be slightly skewed.
About all I can do is say this was the experience T and I had and then toss out a few theories or ponderings which I may have about a few other topics, but that's all. I don't have more to offer, unfortunately.
(Do you know I was viewed as his "pet human" and to this day, I still am? That, I was given as recently as last week and it was from the objective of an outside source. T and I have joked about it, but it feels strange to know that I'm still seen that way, even after all this time. Go figure.)
I hope I didn't sound as though I was running off at the fingers and imply that what worked for T and I would work for everyone else across the board. I know it doesn't work that way. I guess I was just trying to toss out something helpful or hopeful or something.
Will go back to lurk mode now. =)
| |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Wed Aug 25, 2010 2:14 am | |
| Hey Val , I think it's wonderful that you and T (which one was he??) have had the opportunity to be reunited the way you have. The two of you have accepted the past and moved on toward the future, and there is nothing wrong with you posting that and I didn't think you were running off at the fingers...lol, with my situation I do believe that I'm suppressing a lot of my memories on purpose because they were to tramatic for me to have dealt with, maybe that's a cowards way of dealing with things but the relationship I had with my Angel was so intense and our deaths being so painfully hard to accept I guess it has put me into a depression that has lasted over ten thousand yrs...make sense??? For some reason I think the shadow who murdered him was a close friend of mine, or we were close in a way that maybe he was jealous...I don't know...I also get the impression that there was a betrayal of some sort involved, ( I know it feels like we were all betrayed of course). Ok I'm not sure how any of you feel towards the Arch Michael, I know it is written that he was the one who was given the order to banish the morning star, and I do hope I'm not offending anyone but he was the one who officially woke me up 7 yrs ago, he came to me in a dream and told me "Now go into the world and do what it is you were meant to do"....and ever since then he has been a constant companion and guardian and today I received another message from him, as always I'm asking for guidance and help from anyone from the heavenly realms and elsewhere who can offer it, and Michael was the one who answered, he told me that I was on the right path and to stay in contact with all of you and any others that I find, and that we must forgive the ones who punished us and let our hearts heal so we can move forward, I know it may seem ironic since he may have been one of the ones who as involved in the punishment/banishing whatever... Sometimes I feel like maybe he did not want to punish Lucifer, they were close at one point in time, but stuff happened and well you know the general history, then again maybe my thoughts and feelings are wrong, I have so much stuff floating around in my head it's not funny...sigh...sometimes I feel caught between a rock and a hard place...now I feel like I'm the one running off at the fingers...well til next time... Gypsy | |
| | | valthasar
Posts : 162 Join date : 2010-04-25 Age : 57 Location : AL US
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:37 pm | |
| Hey Val ,Howdy. =) I think it's wonderful that you and T (which one was he??) have had the opportunity to be reunited the way you have. The two of you have accepted the past and moved on toward the future, and there is nothing wrong with you posting that and I didn't think you were running off at the fingers...lol, with my situation I do believe that I'm suppressing a lot of my memories on purpose because they were to tramatic for me to have dealt with, maybe that's a cowards way of dealing with things but the relationship I had with my Angel was so intense and our deaths being so painfully hard to accept I guess it has put me into a depression that has lasted over ten thousand yrs...make sense??? For some reason I think the shadow who murdered him was a close friend of mine, or we were close in a way that maybe he was jealous...I don't know...I also get the impression that there was a betrayal of some sort involved, ( I know it feels like we were all betrayed of course).T was one of the 200. He was also a Chief of Ten. (I think somewhere around here is a post about How It All Began This Time Around. That would be pretty much how he came back to me and how we learned how to function, although I didn't know his full identity at that time. He doesn't just throw things at me, he eases me into them, which is a good thing most of the time. LOL) It's understandable that much has been suppressed for you. What started off as a few splinters of memories for us here and there snowballed into pretty much a complete picture of our past, to what I call Before (during the time of the 200) to the handful of times we encountered each other in human bodies, none of which ever ended pleasantly. Lest anyone think there wasn't anything traumatic in my past with T, please let me say that that is what we don't focus on. Oh, believe me, it's there. And so much of it made so much sense, it wasn't even funny. Our end was a very painful ending and the first memory I really had was of our last few seconds together when T was able to break away from his brothers who were holding him and he tried to touch my back with his fingertips as I was being dragged away from him. That was what I remembered first. Not very pleasant, but we got through it. I'll back up a bit and add a few things. T and I were the first pair who got "caught" and by that, I mean I was the first one to get pregnant. Both our son and I died. Because T had given me a gift, which was a part of his "soul" for lack of a better way for me to explain this, he was able to resurrect me, although he could not do anything for our son. I was the learning experience, so to speak. When others began to turn up pregnant, Kasdaye'el and T put their heads together and came up with a plan so the other human women wouldn't die. So, not only did T interfere by teaching me, he also married me, and then resurrected me when I died, so he really messed up. And eventually we were made examples of for this. He never regretted any of his actions and he never walked away from me willingly. We all know what happened to T after that. What happened to me was that my soul was splintered, for lack of a better way to put it. A huge part of me coming to this point was that each time I reincarnated, I had to work through something to get a piece of myself back until I reached where I am today. That's what it all had to come to in order for me to reach a point where T could come back into my life. What happened to me beyond that is something I can say with certainty, and that is the few times T and I were together when he would reincarnate, we never had children, which was probably the one thing we would have dearly loved to have done, was be parents. I was never allowed to have children until this time around. My husband has been a wonderful father to them and our lives have been devoted to them, so I have been quite fortunate. Ok I'm not sure how any of you feel towards the Arch Michael, I know it is written that he was the one who was given the order to banish the morning star, and I do hope I'm not offending anyone but he was the one who officially woke me up 7 yrs ago, he came to me in a dream and told me "Now go into the world and do what it is you were meant to do"....and ever since then he has been a constant companion and guardian and today I received another message from him, as always I'm asking for guidance and help from anyone from the heavenly realms and elsewhere who can offer it, and Michael was the one who answered, he told me that I was on the right path and to stay in contact with all of you and any others that I find, and that we must forgive the ones who punished us and let our hearts heal so we can move forward, I know it may seem ironic since he may have been one of the ones who as involved in the punishment/banishing whatever...Oh yes, Michael. That is, uhm...well, yeah. =/ The first child T and I had died. (Yes, I know, nothing to do with Michael.) I eventually wound up pregnant again, which was all well and good. Except T never knew. I hadn't told him yet when Michael and the others arrived. Without going into a huge amount of detail and boring everyone, I'll just say that he--Michael--skewered me as neatly as a piece of fruit on the end of a cocktail garnish. So while I knew I was pregnant, T didn't. One of the first things he did upon being released was go to my akashic records and find out who and where I was, so that he could start working on earning an opportunity to try to incarnate to find me. It was when he accessed those records that he discovered that I had been pregnant with twins when Michael did what he did. T understands that Michael was only following orders he was given. I understand that. That said, I still have a certain lingering self-preservation thing going on in regards to Michael. Even as recently as last week, I was journeying and met up with a friend and her guide. The four of us went to a location and Michael showed up. T acknowledged that he understood Michael had been following orders at the time and Michael agreed with that. I went unacknowledged until my friend asked a question and it was answered, but the answer was directed at me. So, you can make of that what you will. At least he didn't try to rip my head off this time. So yeah, I know Michael exists. Is he someone I would call on if put in a situation where T was not able to be there? I honestly don't know the answer to that and I don't care to think about it. Let's just say I wouldn't particularly want to be put in any situation remotely close to that to even have to think about finding out. =) Sometimes I feel like maybe he did not want to punish Lucifer, they were close at one point in time, but stuff happened and well you know the general history, then again maybe my thoughts and feelings are wrong, I have so much stuff floating around in my head it's not funny...sigh...sometimes I feel caught between a rock and a hard place...now I feel like I'm the one running off at the fingers...well til next time...Given my previous experience with Michael Before and the recent one of last week, I will say that I at least understand and fully comprehend that he was following orders he was given, in regards to Lucifer, the 200 and/or anything else. Michael is THE right hand man, so to speak. I absolutely without a doubt, fully comprehend that. Does T have any regrets? No. Do I? No. So I guess we're good. =) | |
| | | Azaz'el Admin
Posts : 1084 Join date : 2010-02-02 Age : 55 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:44 pm | |
| There are quiet a few posts on the forum dealing withe the issue of Micha'el. And I'm afraid so that that where he, and some others are concerned, there is still strong and highly charged emotion. It is easy to say that the axe should be buried, but for some the only place to bury said axe is in his head.
Micha'el was a right hand man, he was also very much a 'yes' man to those who wielded the political power of the Shadow at that time. But he was also a Shadow of high rank and was more than capable of making informed decisions and was able to view all of the actions of the Grigori and make up his own mind, as he did with the Morning Star. He chose to follow orders and he chose to kill his brothers. Those actions, as with those in political authority who gave the commands, take some forgiving.
I have known for some time that Micha'el was around and that he was very much aware that the Fallen were awakening. I have also been aware for some time that he was now almost renegade, had turned away from those he once followed and adored, and was somewhat of a lose canon. But it does come wi some surprise to hear that he wants it known that he was only following orders. Does that come with an apology? Is he really sorry for his actions and those of our brothers who butchered not only the Grigori but also those humans we loved, the born and unborn children we sired and all those humans and kin who supported us and gave us love and sanctuary and support?
I realise you won't be able to answer those questions, but I put them out there for whoever has eyes to read this and for those who are willing to step forward and voice any answers. The past is over, millennia have passed, and I am the first to stand up here and offer my hand in kinship and friendship and state clearly that we must be unified. But I think that humility, regret and absolute conviction must be shown before any dialogue can begin with those who carried out the atrocities we suffered.
As for heading into lurked mode Val, don't even think of doing that! You have offered us your thoughts and experiences and they are just as valid and important to us all as anyones. So if you lurk, you know I will just have to come into the shadows and drag you back into the light of the forum! | |
| | | valthasar
Posts : 162 Join date : 2010-04-25 Age : 57 Location : AL US
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:43 am | |
| There are quiet a few posts on the forum dealing withe the issue of Micha'el. And I'm afraid so that that where he, and some others are concerned, there is still strong and highly charged emotion. It is easy to say that the axe should be buried, but for some the only place to bury said axe is in his head.
Yes, there are quite a few of them. I've read them at some point or another.
Az, I swear, running into him last week was not my choice. I don't know whose idea it was and I don't really care--and I'm not real fond of the idea of discussing it further with T. All I can say is both T and I understand he had orders to follow, which he did.
I won't speak for T, here.
I'll speak for myself.
While Michael did have a job to do and he did it and I understand that, it doesn't mean I liked being around him. If you'll notice in one of my replies here, I mentioned I was happy that he didn't rip my head off last week.
Micha'el was a right hand man, he was also very much a 'yes' man to those who wielded the political power of the Shadow at that time. But he was also a Shadow of high rank and was more than capable of making informed decisions and was able to view all of the actions of the Grigori and make up his own mind, as he did with the Morning Star. He chose to follow orders and he chose to kill his brothers. Those actions, as with those in political authority who gave the commands, take some forgiving.
For what it's worth, Az, he actually did apologize to T. There were several others present, who also heard that apology.
Does it mean I trust Michael? Not particularly. Like I said earlier, I'd have to be between a serious rock and a major hard place before I would ever even remotely consider asking for his help if T was unable to help me with something.
The above paragraph makes me alternate between wanting to cry and wanting to go be sick because I didn't just see the end result of what he did to T, I was forced to watch. Oh, there were others who were functioning in that same capacity. But it was like Michael was given the orders to deal with things and oversee. He went a step beyond that and did a lot of it himself to T, like he was taking it out on him personally for having chosen to consort with a human. Honestly, it was almost as if he was taking delight in it, for lack of a better way to put it.
I will absolutely not put T in any position with having to choose anything. He's chosen me. However if he has times where he encounters Michael or any of the others, I am choosing to remain out of it. About all I can do is say that me personally, I'm not good with being around them, they don't give me a warm, fuzzy feeling my head won't be ripped off when I'm around them.
Know I'll do my best to avoid them like I would a most unsavory relative who must be avoided on occasion. Put in a position again like the one I was in last week, I know it's probably best for T that I remain civil. But I'm damn sure not so certain I'm interested in inviting them for tea and cookies any time soon.
I have known for some time that Micha'el was around and that he was very much aware that the Fallen were awakening. I have also been aware for some time that he was now almost renegade, had turned away from those he once followed and adored, and was somewhat of a lose canon. But it does come wi some surprise to hear that he wants it known that he was only following orders. Does that come with an apology? Is he really sorry for his actions and those of our brothers who butchered not only the Grigori but also those humans we loved, the born and unborn children we sired and all those humans and kin who supported us and gave us love and sanctuary and support?
I can tell you for damn sure he knows about T and at least one other that *I* know of for a fact because they were both there last week.
No, it comes as no surprise, Az. Of course he'd want it known he was following orders, being the "Good Child" rather than the naughty one who stayed out too late with the girl during spring break, so to speak.
Did it come with an apology? Yes, it did for T. What did it take for that apology? I don't know. I'm not sure I care to know. I'm damn certain it's not my place to know, although T would never in a million and eleventy one thousand years ever tell me that. I won't freaking ask. Maybe that is very hard headed of me to not do so, but I won't.
So is Michael really sorry? Only Michael knows. Maybe T knows, maybe he doesn't. I just know that I can't ask him.
If you ever read the file I sent you with the history of T and I, you'll know probably better understand why I have the perspective I do.
I realise you won't be able to answer those questions, but I put them out there for whoever has eyes to read this and for those who are willing to step forward and voice any answers. The past is over, millennia have passed, and I am the first to stand up here and offer my hand in kinship and friendship and state clearly that we must be unified. But I think that humility, regret and absolute conviction must be shown before any dialogue can begin with those who carried out the atrocities we suffered.
Maybe I sort of answered a few of those questions, I don't know.
I was unacknowledged by Michael, so the apology was only for T and T only. There was some tension there and T was reticent around Michael and defensive because I was there. I don't believe had I not been present that T would have reacted any differently. The apology was for what Michael did to T. Was there anything said to me or about me as far as even acknowledging he was under orders to kill me, pregnant or not? No. I'd can't say that I would have expected otherwise, though.
So was there humility and regret or conviction? I am going to take the pet human perspective and say that I just don't know. I'm not qualified to make such a decision regarding Michael, even if he was my judge, jury and executioner all those years ago.
At the risk of sounding pissy here, I just have to...I don't know. *shakes head*
I know Michael didn't see me any differently now. He still sees me as the pet human. I might as well been wearing a leash and collar for T, which would have been rather amusing since that is a common theme in BDSM and in the presence of an archangel...? LOLOLOL
Sorry. It's just such a funny mental image. I apologize.
T is saying no, I'm being too biased, it's not quite that bad. I think it is. I'm the bad relative that everyone hopes doesn't show up but must tolerate. He chose me, though. I think the others have come to accept it, Michael hasn't. That's what I think. That perspective could change, if another journey was taken and there was possible further communication, although I'm not anticipating that. If it happens, it happens.
I think part of what freaked me out so bad on this journey last week was that Michael showed up the same way he did Before--from above, but this time, he didn't put himself between T and I, he put himself in front of T.
As for heading into lurked mode Val, don't even think of doing that! You have offered us your thoughts and experiences and they are just as valid and important to us all as anyones. So if you lurk, you know I will just have to come into the shadows and drag you back into the light of the forum!
Oh, Az, come on! I'm not the only human around here. I'm just probably the most outspoken one. =P
You've given me some things to think about. Things I'm not sure I wanted to think about again, but should probably be discussed between T and I. There's just some things we try to somewhat avoid talking about because it's a lot to process. His avoidance is from not wanting to hurt me. Mine comes from not wanting to hurt him. So far, the biggest topic of avoidance has been the children. The next has been Michael and the others. He knows who was there. He knows who did those things to him. He knows who held me and made me watch.
I don't ask. I'm not sure I want to know. =/
Don't worry--there have been some amazingly spectacular things come from all of this, so that's a good thing.
I just never know what to expect and when to expect it. =) | |
| | | Razi'el Moderator
Posts : 527 Join date : 2010-02-08 Age : 35 Location : Ontario, Canada
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Thu Aug 26, 2010 3:52 am | |
| hey, just adding my two bits here as usual.
Micha'el is tough case, for sure. a great many people still carry a grudge, as it has been stated, but i for one, forgive him. i just thought a while back, if he hadn't done the deed and followed orders, would we be here now? would all the things, the bad AND the good, have come to pass at all? truthfully we have no way of knowing, but i'm sort of glad, i've learned a lot and grew as a person.
Gabri'el, on the other hand, i'm alittle iffy on, but i think the same attitude should be adopted, though i'm not saying forget, or even forgive, but accept and move on. i feel like i'm adopting a bit of a preachy air, so i'll stop and deflate my ego a bit.
on a side note, has anyone had contact with Samma'el or Uri'el? i've heard they're running around down here with us somewhere now, though i have to find out where exactly and how to summon one or both of them (if possible. does anyone know a way to do that?) | |
| | | Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:01 am | |
| What did Gabri'el do? If it has been mentioned on the forum, I seem to have forgotten. | |
| | | Razi'el Moderator
Posts : 527 Join date : 2010-02-08 Age : 35 Location : Ontario, Canada
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:06 am | |
| well, i haven't had much experience with him myself, but he's responsible for a lot of the nastier things that's happened to people, and for the sake of privacy, i don't wish to name anyone in particular. curses, murders and the like, all sorts of nasty business. i'll leave it up to them if they wish to make themselves known. | |
| | | Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Thu Aug 26, 2010 3:31 pm | |
| Here's my two cents worth..... If he, is in fact still carrying his wings or even lurking around he most certainly hasn't made it a point to come down and make any apologies or idle chit chat with me and I was the closest to him of all! I didn't see or remember anyone stopping or even saying I'm sorry I've just got to do this nothing personal .. I was just following orders !!! ------ Don't think so. All I know was and still know and remember is the slaughter! And if he is as all knowing..... he knows where I am. And I'll talk but I won't like it, nothing says you have to like it that part is written in stone! And if I'm correct he, is well known for using a smile and charasmatic looks for sizing things up for the eventual kill! As for now I'll believe it when I see it! Him [<--- for a lack of a better word] and his so called all knowing eye of concious, bah !!!! Ouza And for just my personal sake I was never the stool pidgeon! He still is my brother and I still in a way somehow still love him but as it happened, I was damned for it! | |
| | | Azaz'el Admin
Posts : 1084 Join date : 2010-02-02 Age : 55 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:02 pm | |
| I would imagine that Uri'el is lurking in the background never that far from Gabri'el.
As for Samma'el, the rumour is that he is here and incarnate, awakened and enjoying himself no doubt, but I have no idea where here is.
Az
| |
| | | Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:11 pm | |
| It's time to duck and prepare for whatever there is about to begin, if that is the case! I doubt seriously that they are all just raring to run up and hug and kiss us ! - So Not !!!! Way to much distrust and uncertainty in the air !!! Ouza I knew this day would come sooner or later! I"ve just dreaded it from ever happing again! But bring it on, if that be the case if not I'm still willing to sit and listen with a hell of a lot of discernment minus the trust! I was just hoping that I could get the original 208 out with any or no major incidents. But so much for the best laid plans of mice and men! | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Oh boy... Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:27 am | |
| I think I just opened a very touchy can of worms didn't I...I am so sorry everyone, please don't hate me, I do understand the distrust and uncertain emotions...I do know that I have a connection with the four...Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael, and admitting that probably isn't going to help me gain any friendship points here, Val I honestly had no idea of what happened to you, please forgive me for bringing up the subject of Michael, like I said before I've always felt that there was some betrayal I can't remember from the war and beyond...I could be wrong but maybe Michael has been trying to apologize to me as well...I don't know.
As for Uriel, I've seen him a couple of times, he's really tall lol, and a mess I might say..personality wise...Gabriel stays in the shadows, I've sensed him a few times but it's almost like he's ashamed to face me, as for Raphael he has assisted me in some healing with family and friends. I really don't know what to say right now other than I'm sorry, some of you are bracing for another war, and others are hoping for peace, I know that in order for some to accept a reconcilliation amongst our brothers a heart felt genuine apology must be given, what happened in the war was inexcusable.
Az please refresh my memory, who is Sammael? Does the name Shamiel ring a bell to anyone??? I had two interesting dreams the other night, the first one I was floating in front of four heavenly beings sitting on thrones of Gold, I only saw one being and only from the neck down, he was wearing a silvery/blue robe..I do know that I was upset, meaning angry about something and I don't think they were to happy with me either, but they did listen to what I had to say, whatever that was, hate it when I can't remember important stuff like that. The next dream I had I was in another realm, where I'm not sure, but I kept looking around trying to figure out where I was then an Angel appeared before me, he was very handsome and very tall and he wore a black trench coat, and at first all he did was smile then his wings of black unfolded from behind him, then I recognized him...I can pretty much guess that who I was looking at was the morning star...believe what you will, I was not afraid but curious, I know I had mentioned in a previous post that I thought he was soley responsible for a lot of my torment, and I'm still not sure if that is true, I could have been deceived into thinking it was him...but in the dream it felt like he wanted something from me, don't know...anyway, like I said before please don't be upset with me, I am still trying to figure who the heck I am or who the heck I was...I sometimes feel caught in the middle of all of this. Oh I think it was Raz who wanted to know how to summon Uriel...I can summon whoever you need me to..or tell you how, or any other Angel you would like to summon, Just let me know.
Gypsy
| |
| | | valthasar
Posts : 162 Join date : 2010-04-25 Age : 57 Location : AL US
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:43 am | |
| - Gypsy wrote:
- I think I just opened a very touchy can of worms didn't I...I am so sorry everyone, please don't hate me, I do understand the distrust and uncertain emotions...I do know that I have a connection with the four...Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael, and admitting that probably isn't going to help me gain any friendship points here, Val I honestly had no idea of what happened to you, please forgive me for bringing up the subject of Michael, like I said before I've always felt that there was some betrayal I can't remember from the war and beyond...I could be wrong but maybe Michael has been trying to apologize to me as well...I don't know.
As for Uriel, I've seen him a couple of times, he's really tall lol, and a mess I might say..personality wise...Gabriel stays in the shadows, I've sensed him a few times but it's almost like he's ashamed to face me, as for Raphael he has assisted me in some healing with family and friends. I really don't know what to say right now other than I'm sorry, some of you are bracing for another war, and others are hoping for peace, I know that in order for some to accept a reconcilliation amongst our brothers a heart felt genuine apology must be given, what happened in the war was inexcusable.
Please don't feel bad. You didn't know and I've tried very hard to avoid mentioning some of the more personal details on here because I didn't want anyone to think I was being a drama queen or looking to be an attention ho. You know like "Oh, feel bad for me! I got pregnant first and then died! Michael skewered me for it and thus killed three of us at once! Oh yes! *tears tears whine*" Uhm, no. I don't operate that way. That is so totally not me and not my thing at all. =) What happened happened. We can't change that, however we can look to the future. And unless I say anything, nobody would really know about the events in our case, unless I said something about it. And I hadn't on here, so maybe it was time I did so. Usually I do real well. Once in a while all of this will hit me and I just...I don't know. It hits. I feel it deeply. T understands. We talk and then we make more progress forward, and that's always a good thing. It was brought to my attention regarding the how and why of Raphael and T actually having recently communicated. Things were civil between them, which I thought was good. That didn't mess with my head near as much as the Michael thing, because it's like why apologize now, after all this time? Why choose now? There had to be a reason for that. But since I'm a human, there's probably not much chance of me figuring out that motivation and that's okay. What's next, war or peace, I don't know. All I know is that T has been back in my life for almost three years now and we've accomplished much in that time. =) | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:11 am | |
| Hey Val,
Like I said I'm glad you and T are able to work through all of this in a positive way. War or Peace...I pray for peace...not that anyone else really wants another war...although I don't think it will come to that...I hope. Take care
Gypsy | |
| | | Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:18 am | |
| The time has come for us to quit waiting and wandering as to what is going to happen next and to just start seeing some results happening!
If you can do as you say Gypsy tell them them that. I for one have lost all hope of any healing! This time they are the ones that are a day late and a dollar short!
But I will still sit with us all and listen and judge accordingly only with us there face to face! This is not just one's decision but the whole groups, together! All must be equally heard and understood accordingly! Nothing hidden but all open!
Ouza | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:38 am | |
| Dear Ouza,
I do hear you and you are absolutely right, this must be a group effort, on both sides. Like I said before I have been completely honest with all of you, yes Ouza I can do what I said I would, I have no intentions of backing down and I never will. Yes it is time for action, I will make it known, although I don't think I'll have to say much, they have heard you..they've heard all of you.
Gypsy | |
| | | Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:59 am | |
| | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Message to All... Sat Aug 28, 2010 4:29 am | |
| I will post a message that was given to me that was meant for ALL...
Foretold by Heaven, Honor thy GOD, For thou can see the Shepherd of the flock, Appearance by Light through unseen forces, Prepare for thy coming home...
many more are to come, I will post them as I receive them.
Gypsy | |
| | | Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 7:10 am | |
| - Azaz'el wrote:
- I would imagine that Uri'el is lurking in the background never that far from Gabri'el.
As for Samma'el, the rumour is that he is here and incarnate, awakened and enjoying himself no doubt, but I have no idea where here is.
Az
I'd like to know more about Uri'el and Samma'el and why it's thought that one or both of them are here now (as in on Earth in human bodies?). What are their stories, especially in relation to the Fallen? Why is Uri'el so close to Gabri'el? Also, does anyone know about an angel named Ari'el? I've read that Ari'el and Uri'el may be linked, or even the same thing. *shrug* Thanks | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: Curious.. Sat Aug 28, 2010 7:56 am | |
| Is Sammael another name for the Morning Star? Or is this a different Angel altogether....
Gypsy | |
| | | Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:53 pm | |
| Different! Don't get the two events confused this was the second fall and Lucifer had nothing to do with it! Nor was he the leader of the pack!
Ouza | |
| | | Gypsy
Posts : 160 Join date : 2010-08-16 Age : 53 Location : USA
| Subject: The Second fall.. Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:20 am | |
| Ok, I only have memories of the first fall and the names of the Angels, can anyone give me a little refresher course or history lesson? I would greatly appreciate it, maybe it will jog my foggy memory. And Ouza you said the Morning Star was not the leader? Was it Shemyaza? (spelling??) Please if someone could clue me in, that would be great Gyspy | |
| | | Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| | | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- | |
| |
| | | | An Open Letter to Anyone Interested in Reading-- | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| |