ARCHIVE: Little bits here, and there

By Dreamsend Apr 6 2009 -

Trying to record many little thoughts that have been in and around my mind.

1. Little kids. Little kids, like aware babies and toddlers have my whole life been overly friendly to me, once or twice in more recent years I've had the strange experience of a little kid just hugging me with no pretext or little more than a smile or introduction, like I was the friendliest Disney mascot ever. Recently though (past month or so) that's all changed. Sometimes I'll be out and about minding my own business and there will come a little kid minding their own business. Then they'll look at me and it's like whatever they were doing before is instantly forgotten. I don't want to say that I shock them, because it isn't a look of shock, but it is a look that's on the edge of fear, without being fear. They just stop in the middle of whatever it is they were doing and *stare* usually wide-mouthed. I'll smile and wave back, and they just stare. Eventually, as I try to dissipate my energy ("make myself invisible to them") they stop paying attention to me and go on with whatever they were doing before, laughing at dad's jokes or whatever. I really wish I knew what was causing this sudden change, and what they're seeing.

2. I've been trying very hard to find other Sidhe in my area. Once I realized what I was it was like a trigger (isn't it always like that =\ one discovery leads to a million desperate new questions) into feeling irresistably drawn to others who "do magic" like I do magic. Into finding others touched by the green, not of it, but always with it, that want to heal the Earth.

3. I feel like my eyes have been glowing recently o_o. It may just be the light =\ and that I have strange-colored (hazel) eyes to begin with, but I will catch myself in the mirror and be startled by the glow of my eyes.... then I stare and I don't see it. then I go on about the day, unaware and it happens again. it's just the eyes, nothing else seems to be glowing.

4. More memories, i will try to put into words and describe elsewhere here. I was also wondering if any of the older site users - the first 50ish of us - had any new updates on memories of their pasts or recovered infomation about the collective past or present or future?

5. Realized that part of the predictions that I had made for these last few years came true, though I didn't realize that the turmoil and strife would be economic instead of physical. Not that it's affecting me really, right now, (as I felt it wouldn't some years back) but I am very observant of the sounds of the world around me, especially as the status of the world affects the status of the World (Earth).

6. Trees are "sisters"; stars are "brothers"; the Moon is still my "mother"

7. I am beyond ready to "wake up" into myself (awakening more everyday, in a way, but still don't quite know what I'm supposed to be doing here, though I feel that I'm being rerouted to my path slowly) but still feeling terrified of the prospect of knowing, being, doing -- me. Being happy for a living. LOL. Even worse, that so many around me would still be miserable or not be able to see the joy that surrounds them.

8. finally feeling ready to lead......... but I still don't like the idea of it. it feels to me (or this is the way I remember it being, lives and lives ago...) like beings "feeding you" their energy, their will and dreams, and "handing you" the leash and saying "Lead me!" And (at that time) I say "I do not want a pet, or a flock, I want a friend and a partner!" It's not how "leading" works though. If they follow you, they follow, they don't want to think about what to do. That's "your job" now. *sigh* I'm ready to let them do that, I won't fight it anymore....

9. Developed a theory towards the spread of my people that seems sort of controversial but makes very much sense to me.


Edited to add: 10. Lots of growling at things. I don't know why... sometimes like a dog even ^^.... like before a train arrives at the station, one time the other day I started "growling" in the direction of the train a minute before it arrived. That made me laugh.


-- Angela


By Ouza Apr 6 2009 -

[/QUOTE]7. I am beyond ready to "wake up" into myself (awakening more everyday, in a way, but still don't quite know what I'm supposed to be doing here, though I feel that I'm being rerouted to my path slowly) but still feeling terrified of the prospect of knowing, being, doing -- me. Being happy for a living. LOL. Even worse, that so many around me would still be miserable or not be able to see the joy that surrounds them.

8. finally feeling ready to lead......... but I still don't like the idea of it. it feels to me (or this is the way I remember it being, lives and lives ago...) like beings "feeding you" their energy, their will and dreams, and "handing you" the leash and saying "Lead me!" And (at that time) I say "I do not want a pet, or a flock, I want a friend and a partner!" It's not how "leading" works though. If they follow you, they follow, they don't want to think about what to do. That's "your job" now. *sigh* I'm ready to let them do that, I won't fight it anymore....

9. Developed a theory towards the spread of my people that seems sort of controversial but makes very much sense to me.


Edited to add: 10. Lots of growling at things. I don't know why... sometimes like a dog even ^^.... like before a train arrives at the station, one time the other day I started "growling" in the direction of the train a minute before it arrived. That made me laugh.[QUOTE]

Honey, welcome to the group, I have two dogs to the south of me next door. One a Pomeranian the other a pregnant dachshund constantly barking and somehow I feel that with the coming birth they will keep one more completing the three headed hound of h'el who's soul purpose is to protect destroy and annoy! Plus I've been dreaming a lot about trains, buses, etc. like everyone is gathering together in order to go somewhere up north! Weird, eh??????

Love always,

Ouza