More on memories...

I was kept up last night by a nightmare... A connection of two memories (one posted previously and one in introductions)

I think I fell...
I believe that I was hiding among those humans for my own protection, and that by helping them - saving them - in battle, that I "outed" myself in a way. My memory of being on the balcony that day, I think they were making a mockery of what I was, forcing me to fall from the tower.

I think I died that day.

It's funny that you should mention a tower. I've had memories on multiple occasions, as well as dreams, that involve a series of towers. I have posted these dreams in some of my earlier posts with the forums if you'd like to read them.

That sounds very painful and very powerful, Terra'el. That what you did possibly led to you being outed and murdered... and yet, this is how things can go oftentimes. The memory of falling from the tower did seem a bit like one of those potent moments that sticks out because of everything that has happened before or after. Similarly, when I first began to recall my own memories, only two images came to mind. One was of being in battle on a dusty plain. That this came through so powerfully so often, I couldn't understand until I saw what was before and after that, and understood how that moment and those series of moments on that battlefield were most important to unlocking the rest of the truth of who I was and am.

Hopefully this moment also can serve as a catalyst - while we mourn and feel the emotions deeply of our past lives, we mustn't become stuck in those places. Of course, it sounds like this is a place of moving forward for you, and not as if you are stuck there. We'll look forward to traveling with you as you continue to have revelations and memories.

Ash

I know what you mean about it being a catalyst. I for the longest time recalled falling, and the battle.
Recently I have begun dreaming more of the battle and of the people I was fighting against. Demons, but also humans affected in some way - some looked grotesque and they were filled with rage. In my recent dream I kill a little boy - no older than ten - to protect others. As he died he regained his sense of himself and asked me to hold him like a mother would. His face regained its normal childlike quality - all of the mutation gone. I cried and told him I was so very sorry, I held him as he died.

I don't understand this battle at all... I wish someone out there remembered more. What would have affected humans in such a way? Why did they want to kill those inside?

With all the erratic energies around us right now and the growing need to "do" something, I'm hoping that we all gain more insight and understanding over the coming months so that some answers can be gained

Az

Azaz'el wrote:

With all the erratic energies around us right now and the growing need to "do" something, I'm hoping that we all gain more insight and understanding over the coming months so that some answers can be gained

Az

I dont mean to go off topic, if its possible this could maybe split off from this...


However... this struck me

I thought I was over a lot of the issues that I am dealing with now... only recently have they been coming up again. I figured it had something to do with the energies around us now. Confirmation is always nice from others. Anyone else experiencing this? Old issues you thought you worked through (past life related or not) resurfacing again?

I've had a feeling that its a sign that I need to look deeper in to where these issues are coming from, and they seem to tie to past lives I've had. another catalyst to the puzzle I assume.

My memories of the (fall) battle are hazy because I never fought in it. I have memories of people running away but i didn't get far, and after that I was a prisoner so I saw nothing except what was happening to us.

And, as I wasn't involved in the earlier I have no memory of that but I am feeling more and more that and undersanding of this battle, particularly who we were fighting, is crucial. I know they're still there, because Sen has shown me the front. Imagine a vast wall of thick black smoke with figures trying to come through it but, although they bulge the smoke wall, they can't break through. I'm pretty sure it was a metaphor but it might not have been.

That wall of smoke has been cropping up more and more recently, in various forms, in dreams and in life

Interesting that you mention the smoke... the little boy, as he was dying and coming back to himself had smoke escaping from his mouth. I recall the dying humans in the battle spitting out smoke as they died as well. Perhaps something possessing?

I'm not sure if this is appropriate for this thread or not, and sorry if it isn't, but once I had a dream about people dying and smoking because they had been possessed by angels and not demons. It struck me because usually all possessions are labelled as demonic. I don't think I've ever heard of an angelic possession before.

What then, Capsha my dear, do you consider a demon to be? Naught but one of the fallen is a demons true nature. Demons are angels, thus would be considered to have similar powers methinks. The nature of demons and angels is often times misunderstood. They are one in the same, though one has fallen out of the grace of god, whereas the others are still his servants.

Dear Malphas,

You mean fallen out from those who have said that they are Gods. But in truth the only ruling factor is Creation itself which rules over all! No man in a White beard but the awakening from a great sleep which in turn runs until it is all brought together again. My spiritual age is over 400,000 years while Az is much older in conception than I. We were once those who professed to be Gods!

I feel that at Lucifer's demise elsewhere he was put into a sleep state while I was further created to take his place which ultimately brought us here to this Solar System!

Az, myself and Daniel had come here on a mission to create an Army of mindless beings with an untraceable undiluted DNA Code to fight wars for the so called good. Ghost protocol so to speak!

However my feelings changed and I and 200 or so of my team defied to do the higher ups wishes thus they came to destroy us and bind us all to this sphere of existence and elsewhere by thus losing our immortality.

A Codex was drawn during our trial and after a period of time would release us from our bonds. And then destroyed and put into spirit to be reborn over and over again!

This year completed the terms of our exile and the door of escape is no longer shut to us!

Ouza

Malphas wrote:

What then, Capsha my dear, do you consider a demon to be? Naught but one of the fallen is a demons true nature. Demons are angels, thus would be considered to have similar powers methinks. The nature of demons and angels is often times misunderstood. They are one in the same, though one has fallen out of the grace of god, whereas the others are still his servants.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me "my dear". It makes me a little uncomfortable, it always has. Okay, just because something is considered demonic doesn't mean it has to be ex-angel or even anything to do with Biblical/religious/spiritual references. The term "demon" is a hugely vast word which hundreds of creatures, both wordly and otherwise, can fit in to. My fiance considers himself a demon but he's not angelic or anything like it. I'm a member of a forum where there's only about ten people who aren't demonic and of the people who are, only a small minority claim to have been angelic in a past life. I've learned to stop seeing what things aren't and to start accepting things for what is really happening. If people want to use the term "demon" to describe themselves, even if it's not the right word, then let them.

Personally I think demon is a word that has, hisorically been used for anything supernatural that humans don't understand. A lot of the time it's been applied to the Sidhe and I have no doubt that it has been applied to Nephylim, Shadow and ascended over the years.

I think Capsha is close when she says (I hope I have this right) that demon is a label (and aren't all designations labels) all kinds of races/people/entities own.

Capsha is absolutely right when she says that people have the absolute right to chose the labels they apply to themselves and if their interpretation of demon is different from ours, or anyone elses it's fine because none of us KNOW. We believe, we remember, we surprise but we don't KNOW.