ARCHIVE: Kin or Not?

By Azaz'el Apr 3 2008 -

For many of us right now, life is becoming very difficult. This, as we know, is a time of change, of rebellion and flux, where the rules that governed life last week seem to have changed this week and will be different next week. It is a time when many people are facing a lot of uncertainty and painful truths. It is a time when many are feeling very down and drained.

I have seen much of this from the flavour of recent posts and some of the conversations that take place in the chat room. So it has got me wondering........ are you happy being Fallen, Shadow, Otherkin? If it was possible to wave a magic wand and change your very soul, would you remain as you are or would you become Human and allow your soul to sleep?

Please, don't misunderstand me when I say become Human and allow your soul to sleep - I do not mean that all Humans are unawakened. But, in the same way that many Kin are still sleeping spiritually and their soul has not yet remembered who they are, so many Humans are unawares of the world of Shadow, Fallen and Kin.

So, would you change what you are? Would you remain the same? Is being Kin a curse, or do you see it as being the most special and important part of your life?

Az


By Ishtahar Apr 4 2008 -

What an interesting question...and one that it is so difficult to answer.

If someone could wave a wand now, to change what I am now and put my soul to sleep, I would have to say no, what I am and what I have is too important and too hard won.

However there is a part of me that looks back and wishes I have never awoken, never become aware of all this, never heard of kin or fallen....but then even on the day of my birth it was already too late for that ever to have been an option so.......

No, I wouldnt want to change what I am and
Yes, being Ishtahar is important, one of the most important things in my life and
Yes it is a curse but
No, I wouldnt really want it any other way

Confused? Not surprised smile.gif


By Faddewr Apr 5 2008 -

I think of kin, and think of Great Big Sea.

"Wey-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day..."


By Lael Apr 5 2008 -

Would I go back to being unaware?

Do I have a choice?

I know your question was hypothetical, but still. I believe I stood before such choice in the past. Once, as I child, I rejected it and you could say, did indeed go back to 'sleep'. The second time, some years past, I said -- let it happen. It did.

Once it's done and you cross the hypothetical threshold, there's no going back, is there? smile.gif

I have come to appreciate myself, my nature, my origin, and my current situation. I have come to terms with it, forgiven myself, and accepted it all. I am me; I have come here; it is fine, and it is as it should be. In this, I have come a long way, having been at war (of a sort) with myself long before this human experience started.

I can't tell you if I'm happy or unhappy being what I am, specifically. I just am and that's that. I wouldn't change it because if I did, I wouldn't be myself anymore. I've always believed it was better to go through hardship but stay true to myself, than make it all comfortable but fake.

Ignorance might be bliss, but it's not true peace, within. At least that's how it works for me. smile.gif


By Keziah Apr 8 2008 -

It was two years ago that I finally accepted what I was. A year later, back in January of 2007, a friend told me this: "I know about your origins. You can live your life as a human, you can act like a human. You can even learn like a human, but you and I both know you aren't human." It broke my heart.

Being "kin" is not a curse, no more than my empathy is, no more than life is. Everything has two sides, the good and the bad. So while it often feels like a curse, there are times that are incredible that I wouldn't give away for anything. It's a tough road, but it's my road, it's who I am and what I'm meant to do and be. I wouldn't give that up.

It strikes me as odd how many out there now claim to be otherkin, who embrace it fully and boast and carry on, putting themselves above others, as if they want to be special and unique. But you don't have to be kin to be those things. All I ever wanted was to be normal, even as a child when I knew I wasn't. But now I'm starting to see that "normal" doesn't really exist.

I wouldn't go back. Not for anything in the world. I'd rather bare the pain it brings along just to know that I'm awake and alive.


By Ishtahar Apr 8 2008 -

yes


By Dreamsend Apr 12 2008 -

Oh my god, that is definitely true... life more difficult, everything in flux, changing everyday.

To answer the question.... I'm not even sure how to respond... it's like I "can't" say, yes, or no. What is, is. I can't change or be anything else. I can't even comprehend that. hahaha. That is to say, I like the question, I just can't answer it.

I do find... that as time goes on I am finding it harder and harder to live here (earth). I dislike people more and more, which I kind of find sad.... very sad. I can't stand the systems that I live in, the behaviors that are passed off as "normal." I find myself, most frighteningly, losing my compassion, as I become more aware, more psychic, more empathic. I find myself returning to what I was, maybe, which is very very sad. I'm sorry all the time that I can't stop this rock that's gaining momentum in myself now that it's rolling downhill..... It has to happen, though, I feel that to be true, too. So, whatever is, is...


By Ishtahar Apr 14 2008 -

Oh gosh, that is so what I am feeling.

Everything in my life is in flux and here is the only place I feel that I can really be myself.

I feel that I am struggling more and more to live within my life outside here. I am carrying a stone around within me rolling faster and faster and getting sadder and sadder.

WHat is happening?


By Universal Traveler Apr 15 2008 -

Same here...
I also experience myself being extremely exhausted and I don't understand why.
Some days it is even hard to stay balanced as it all seems so useless and pointless...I know it isn't but that is what I feel at times.
Almost as if I am dragging my body around all day....
All I know is things aren't supposed to be this hard, it shouldn't take up all this time and energy... things were once different...


By Zurine Apr 16 2008 -

I wouldn't change who I am.

It's what makes me... me. But, for me, this sort of situation isn't about how 'special' being a kin is. Or how I feel spiritually.

It's about my connections. There are people I would never have met, gotten close to, or believed if it wasn't for my awakening.

The only way I can see being a kin - referred to as a curse is if you dislike the role in life you are given. If you have a specific job you know needs to be done- and you loathe that job. I'm sure it can be a curse.

I'd embrace it.


By Sari'el Apr 25 2008 -

Yeah wel...lately, generally speaking I just don't give a **** anymore. I just want to live my life, do my things, and get myself together. I know there's more to me, but right now it's just not something I can use, I guess I'll just have to wait. I guess I'm just a bit too tired to care about a lot of things.

But you always run into it again. I mean whatever I do I'll always be around in one way or another. Because stuff happens. We are who we are.


By Rasiak Oct 14 2009 -

I don't think that I've fully awoken yet, but I'm still unsure on whether to embrace it or not...

On one hand, it seems so much easier to carry on as I was planning, forgetting all of this and just...Being human, I guess? Thinking about what might be happening more often than not makes me confused or mentally exhausted. Again, I find myself agreeing with Dreamsend (which is quite interesting, possibly?) and saying that I seem to be disliking people more frequently. Which is a frustrating prospect, as I've always wanted to help people and felt it was my duty to look after them. An emotional sense is developing, although I'm unsure as to whether this is empathy or just a higher understanding of others.

Yet on the other hand, there's the curiosity! I want to find out who and what I was in a possible past life. I want to develop these skills more and I want to search for my true purpose. I'm repeating myself here, but I always thought that I had a purpose, but knew not what it was. Hopefully, I can begin to understand if I embrace this change?

After all is said and done, I'm very unsure of what to do right now. However, I want to say another thank you to all you guys for being so welcoming and understanding...I've never met people quite like you before! smile.gif


By Azaz'el Oct 14 2009 -

You're very welcome Rasiak ...... but you probably have met people like us before, probaly many millennia ago during the first times!!! LOL

There is a general trend in what you say and feel. I know quite a few Kin who, right now, almost feel hate for humanity, and yet they just can't step away and focus on only themselves and their Kin. They need to learn and grow and develop and this can only come through greater contact with Humanity, not less contact. But, as we all know, the Universe thrives on paradox, and we tend to live it all the time these days.

Az


By Seraphyna Oct 15 2009 -

A lot of people go on trying to figure out what they were, and lose sight of what they are. Regardless of our otherkin beliefs, we're still human at the moment...and that is something none of us should ever forget. We're the same people we were before we "awakened"...just variations on that original theme.


By Ishtahar Oct 16 2009 -

I don't think you are right Seraphyna. We occupy human bodies yes, that I can't argue with but I don't think that any of us are truly human, at least not any more and I for one am most certainly not the same person as I was before I awakened, not at all by any comparison.

Beside.. we were not human then either. We are what we are but we are also who we were and that didn't start at awakening that was what we have been all along.

I know you are the scientists, the check and balance but not everything can be explained by science, which runs off theory anyway. Magic is everywhere you just need to know where to look and the right kind of eyes to see.


By Scratch Oct 16 2009 -

This past week I've been visiting my family back in WI, and finally went through all my high school stuff, saved in the cabinets of my old room. It's been very interesting flipping through old diaries. I consider my awakening to have officially begun just before my 21st birthday, but wrote extensively about strange "daydreams," that had a freaky knack of being true, when I was 16. Furthermore, they were already common at the time, for at least a few years. The main reason I noted them was as reference, to see how many turned out right and wrong, and in frustration, because I couldn't tell if I was unique in having them, or everyone else didn't think theirs were worth talking about for some reason. I was afraid to talk about ordinary things I knew everyone experienced back then, and instinct told me people would think I was crazy.

Whether or not I'm human, or how much I am or am not, I think, is a little besides the point. I am me, whatever and everything that that means. I still can't tell if there's a clear-cut dividing line anywhere, but definitely think reality is more fluid than compartmentalized, in general. I could see, in my writings then, a few eerie little hints at my identity as I know it now, even though I had no conscious inkling of it. On the other hand, that could have been projections of my current consciousness, on somewhat vague musings of a teenage mind. See what I mean? I think that's why analysis and instinct need to work together, because otherwise I can't say anything with any certainty, even in my own mind.

The most interesting thing was to see that, while in some ways I am a very different person now, I really haven't changed that much after all. It was there: the difference is all in whether I embrace or deny it.


By Seraphyna Oct 17 2009 -

Yes, but what science *can* prove should not simply be shoved aside and ignored because "magic" is a more romantic notion...and the fact remains that none of our beliefs can be proved, so the possibility that none of this is anything more than personal belief, that it could very well be wrong, should never be forgotten.


By Scratch Oct 17 2009 -

Neither should the possibility that science can err, as well. Even "scientific fact" is theory: a thesis is true until proven false. Leaning too heavily on anything isn't neutral, and I don't see anyone ignoring or shoving aside evidence here.


By Azaz'el Oct 17 2009 -

As a scientist and as one of the Chiefs of the Fallen, I find myself in the interesting position of having to agree to all sides of this discussion. I have a lot of scientific training and expertise and I understand and know the limits that this branch of understanding can bring. It can 'prove' a great many things, but there are also a lot of holes in our current knowledge and understanding of the Universe and how we interact within it.

Right now none of us can prove that we are something other than Human.... but it also cannot be proven that we are only Human. And again, the Universe offers us the paradox, the whole emotional awareness and guidance that we are more than just the shell we inhabit, with a vast storehouse of information to share and be discovered ..... but once we have discovered it, we cannot prove it, we can only rely upon the leap of faith and the 'coincidence' or synchronicity that weaves throughout our lives. So to gain faith we have to have faith in the process of faith.

I know why a rainbow forms, I can explain my way around chaos and complexity theory, I hate Planck's law, and I have strong and vivid memories of my life as an angel and when I Fell. Does this not make us all the paradox too? That which cannot exist, exists to prove that it can. I can't prove Planck's law, I can't prove that I am Shadow.... but the very fact that we share our memories, thoughts and emotions, triggers a memory and awakeing in all of us.... and that is the proof that we look for.

Az


By Seraphyna Oct 18 2009 -

...and then there's the whole concept of science not seeking to prove anything, but to find and assess evidence and decipher it.


By Scratch Oct 19 2009 -

QUOTE (Azaz'el @ Oct 17 2009, 09:52 PM)
"So to gain faith we have to have faith in the process of faith."

I absolutely love that! It may be the best way of putting it I've read or heard.


By Ishtahar Oct 19 2009 -

I have a headache now.... but it's a good one smile.gif

I think the essence of what Az was saying is that there has to be balance. Neither science nor fait can be dismissed. We use ALL the tools at our disposal to make sense of life, the universe and everything... but we do not rely wholly on any one of them or dismiss any others merely because we can't PROVE it.

Sceince is a useful but not difinitive tool as are spirituality, magic, belief, faith etc etc.

Truth can never be absolute... at the end of the day it ALWAYS comes down to belief... whether it be belief in science, belief in faith or just belief in ourselves.