ARCHIVE: Memories, if only a few

From Sari'el 14 Jan 08

I only remember little from the fall. Not much more than my death, and I can't even be sure of that.

I have seen the city, or parts of it. Some memories of battle are left in my mind, if only fragments...

Most of what I remember is how to do things, knowlege about powers before looking into them.

Besides that, I only know what I've been told. And even that isn't much.


From Ishtahar 15 Jan 08

It's the way we all started. First it is a vague feeling of not fitting and being different and then there are a few disconnected memories and then the memories start to join up and make sense and then it all starts to flow.

At least that is how it was with me. Keep chipping away Seriel and it will all come together at some point.


From Lael 15 Jan 08

Heh, the first thing I remembered was death. It took years to decipher the actual meaning of the things I remembered. I had been told, over and over again, that it would make no sense until the moment I was ready to understand it, and wasn't that the truth. I find some deliciously amusing irony in the fact that sometimes you spend years sitting on these things, they're right under your very nose, and yet you don't understand their significance until everything else has fallen into place, and you have grown enough to bear it.

I wish you good luck trying to piece the bits of your past together into something resembling a whole. But, if you would hear a piece of well-meant advice, do remember that the past is not all that defines you; what you do now and who you're becoming now through your actions and choices, matters even more.


From Sari'el 16 Jan 08

I have this friend. I have no idea what he is, I mean, not a clue. Normally I can get somewhat of an idea from someone's aura, but I simply can't read his in any way. I've had a lot of strange experiences with him, among them seeing the lighter colored shadows I've mentioned. THe'd seen them before, however. He feared them, and bowed. I wouldn't. I've even gone looking for them later on. This was even before I had awakened, I didn't have a clue what they were at the time. Probably not the smartest move I've ever made, though even the second time they kept their distance. He is the only person who has actually seen my wings, though a few have felt them. Anyhow, I *was* talking to him, hadn't seen him in a half a year, and we got started talking about things, the past, the future, etcetera. He's been with me from the start of my awakening, and was always to be trusted, so I told him our story, and gave him my name. Upon that he kept saying he felt he knew it, and knew the story, but couldn't put his finger on it. All of a sudden he got up and started writing symbols on his mirror in red, and neither of us know what they mean. He did mention he knew which applied to me, and this frightens yet fascinates me. I am eager to learn more. Because of that, I have asked him to e-mail me some pictures of the symbols, and I will post them here when I receive them, hoping some of you know anything about them.

From Sari'el 16 Jan 08

I have spent a few hours looking at different scripts from the middle east, and it seems the writing on the mirror is somewhat related to proto-sinaïtic script. Downside of this is that proto-sinaïtic is a language as dead as they get. It's been studied for about a century, and still only one (part of a?) sentence has ever been somewhat translated; to the Lady. This was carved as grafitti into a temple to Hathor, in Serabit el-Khadim. It was probably written by a south-west-asian slave who worked at the turqoise mines there, at least that's how researchers assume the language got there. Note that the grafitti version of it does resemble the writings on the mirror, yet other tables of the proto-sinaitic alphabet look much different, and more based on the... I'm probably boring you to tears with this.

I'm still waiting for the photo's, but it's proving difficult to take a picture of anything written on a mirror in a dimly lit room. He's still trying though. We've considered drawing them on to a piece of paper but he has a gut feeling that drawing it on paper would make it lose it's meaning. I'm not sure if I agree with that, but since he's the one who wrote it, I guess I'll leave that up to him. It does annoy me though because like I said, he claims at least part of it concerns me. Perhaps even us.


From Azaz'el 17 Jan 08

I have to say that I've not come across proto-sinaïtic script before so had to do a search on this to see what it looked like. From the sources I have seen, it looks quite pictographic.... or in other words, the symbols seem to represent what they mean. Such as the symbol for water looks like waves, the symbol for snake looks like a snake etc. Is there any chance of you being able to understand perhaps what the message in this script is by seeing if the symbols look like something obvious?

There is the belief also with many scripts that if they are written down or written in a certain way, the meaning or power of the message or wrods can be lost or amplified. So considering the magical properties of mirrors, if this message was written on paper, it would lose all power and mean nothing?

In many ways I am drawn to Enochian, the language that was channeled by John Dee. It has a feel about it that speaks to my memories but I cannot think how or in what way.


From Araqi'el 17 Jan 08

I'Ve been looking it up and found this page: http://www.ancientscripts.com/protosinaitic.html

Something was triggered, like a way to speak them or pronounce them, maybe only random babble or my glottalisation went overboard. I post something on this tomorrow just that I would pronounce the first four signs as:

shed
imah
raigh
ham

At least when drawn on paper, imaging those written on a mirror doesn't seem the right way to pronounce them anymore the upper symbol (for 'aleph) would become "shil".
Well try this visualisation:
Mental mirror (like that you can hold in a hand) draw the symbol for 'aleph on it in red colour and mentally pronounce "shil". If something weird happens when doing this don't be confused - wasn't dangerous or malevolent for me just summoned a staff.
For me drawing the symbol for waw on the mirror and pronounce "nel" ended this weird vision by sucking the staff into the mirror again.


From Ishtahar 17 Jan 08

Thank you for the link Araquiel. I looked at the letters and my first impression was that they had got it all wrong. I mean that the symbols did not have the meaning they ascribe to them. Cant quite say how but it feels all wrong. Maybe it is what we have been talking about with regard to the meaning being lost when written down.

I am having a lot of trouble with meditating at the moment as I am going through a time of pain (I am disabled and often get this in the cold weather so I know it will pass soon) which is tiring and distracting.

Once I am able to get into meditation properly again I will try what you suggest and in the meantime i am very interestied in what others experience.


From Menon 18 Jan 08

First let me introduce myself. I'm the friend of Seri'el as he may comfirm. The writhings I've made are like memories I've been getting trough. The more I hear about the book of enoch and the shadow of the fallen the more seems to fit in it's place. I'm not quite sure what I am or how these markings came to me but I do know that it has something to do with an old memory. As you may already know I'm new at this and don't know the history that good but what I know is that it's not the mirror that gave these words meaning. I've tryde to remember what it means but can't come any futher than this: The one that's lost will not rest till......
It's not much but I'm working on it alongside my gaurdian (as I like to call it)
I hope I can poste these markings somewhere this weekend.

(sorry for my english writting. Haven't done this for a long time)


From Azaz'el 21 Jan 08

Greeting Menon, your English is fine, so please do not worry - it's probably better than ours due to the typing mistakes that can ahppen often!!

If you feel you are able to share the writings and their possible meanings to us, we would be interested in seeing and hearing more. However, I am also aware that once you have gained a deeper understanding of your memories and the writing, you may find that it is deply personal to your own spiritual development and may not be able to share it with us.

The legends of the Shadow, of Enoch and his ascention to metatron, the ascention of Ishtahar and the murder of the Grigori by their brothers is a story that is growing stronger in the minds and memories of many. We are being released and reborn and those who have a link to us, as reborn Fallen or those who were Shadow or human and supported us in the First Times are being called to stand together once more. And so we welcome anyone who wishes to walk part of their journey with us.

It is interesting that you get a part of a meaning - the one that's lost will not rest till...
I have been thinking about this and at present the only one that I can think of as being lost linked to us Fallen is Shemyaza / Semyaza ( Ish, which is the correct spelling? I normally go with Sem, even tho I pronounce it as Shem?). However, there are still many of my brothers who are lost or at least not yet reborn. So I am uncertain who this could refer to.... but would assume it is Semyaza.

From Ishtahar 23 Jan 08

I dont know, it could relate to Shem but it could relate to us all. We are all lost in our own way. It could relate to our child who was lost before he was born, it could even realte to Constantin who was as lost as can be even though he believed he was in control and had all the power

At the moment I am feeling that it would be meant for us all. We are all...'the one who is lost'.....

I know I am not making sense and apologise. I have been poorly and still taking the medication with the worst side effect ever.


From Sari'el 23 Jan 08

No need to apologise, I know a little bit about how meds and pain (that includes physical-) can get into your head sometimes...

Menon I have to ask. You said you knew which symbols concerned me. Does that include any of the signs you've translated or interpreted or...well whatever you want to call it? Just trying to clear things up a little.

From luxcthonis 12 Feb 08

I have had a few memories, possibly insinuating that I worked my way up to the being I am now, within the shell of this humanity.
I would like to tell my memories, truthfully they are all I really think about, and what they could mean...
They involve another person, and I'm not sure I should say anything without that individuals permission.
I am sure you all understand.

From luxcthonis 13 Feb 08

My most profound memory (most pronounced and detailed even if only a still glimpse) is one I remembered recently. It is a memory of ....the First War. I say no more than this for now.
I have had two other memories besides this one previously mentioned. The first was as follows: I tried to go back in my mind to the period before I was born, to see where I was before I came into the world in a physical shell. The impression i received was of myself swimming through a yellowish, gelatinous ocean of some fuel-like substance. Seeing my hands as I swam, I beheld they were claws, and I had reddish scaly skin (many implications here). Around me, though I was swimming in the water, my view changed and I could see myself as I swam in the fuel ocean, and I could also see the expanse of the terrain around me, simultaneously. There were mesa's and plateau's of a brownish red colour, and all was desert wasteland.
The next memory was more recent (the last one described being around 1996), about a couple months ago. For an instant I had a flash in my mind of myself climbing up a snowy mountain in a desolate winter deathscape. Climbing up the face of the mountain, once again, I could see my hands and fore-arms. This time, they were hairy paws with large, long claws, and I was covered in a thick black fur.
Finding a familiar ridge, I saw that I had come to a cave in the mountain, and I could see myself fully now. I stood on two legs, large and looming, covered in fur, as before stated. I had the head of a lion, or perhaps a panther, although black. Ibex horns like that of an infernal Goat sprouted from my crown and reached to claw at the ever-somber sky. Dragon-like wings spread from my back in leathery magnificence.
Thats all. There is only the first one I could elaborate upon.


From Azaz'el 27 Feb 08 -

Menon,

any news on the markings you were going to post?

Az


From Ishtahar 4 Mar 08 -

Very interesting Lux, do you have any sense whether these lives took place on earth or in another place. Not that it really matters but it would be interesting. Also, were there any emotional impressions associated with them? Do you have any names for who or what you might have been.

Ish