| my story | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:15 am | |
| This is what I remember, I remember Adam. Very vaguely. What I remember most is love. The love i had for his majesty. And the love i had for the Morning Star. We were inseparable, the very outline for the relationship the almighty wanted for his new creations. I don't know what happened, but i was sent to Adam. And Lucifer never forgave me. IF you are here, my i am so sorry for whatever i did.
As for my fall, i remember great pain, and that i fell in water. And i have been alone ever since.
LILITH | |
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Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:31 am | |
| I'm glad to have you here with us! I have missed you and I pray that you stay for this small point in time that is allotted to us all in order to further reach our final goal of renewal! *Prophecy of Chief Crazy Horse* "Upon suffering beyond suffering; the Red Nation shall rise again and it shall be a blessing for a sick world. A world filled with broken promises, selfishness and separations. A world longing for light again. I see a time of seven generations when all the colors of mankind will gather under the sacred Tree of Life and the whole Earth will become one circle again. In that day there will be those among the Lakota who will carry knowledge and understanding of unity among all living things, and the young white ones will come to those of my people and ask for this wisdom. I salute the light within your eyes where the whole universe dwells. For when you are at that center within you and I am that place within me, we shall be as one." ***-Crazy Horse as he sat smoking the sacred pipe at Paha Sapa with Sitting Bull for the last time, four days before he was assassinated (Sept 1, 1877) Ouza p.s. There is nothing to forgive for the codex is completed and all are free to leave or stay as they will! | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:38 am | |
| Funny that you would use a native American prophecy... because in this life i am mostly native. But as we say, there are no coincidences. For some reason i feel i remember you.... | |
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Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:48 am | |
| There are no coincidences here in this forum! you are just right where you need to be! And especially at this time where the world seems to rule all of our feelings and emotions we can truly find a place of solace with Az and Ish! We are all here offering you unconditional love and respect with no price tag. Ouza p.s. I promise that you will soon remember with all our help together as one! | |
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Capsha
Posts : 281 Join date : 2012-03-30 Age : 29 Location : Scotland
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:02 am | |
| Lilith. It's good to meet you. I think you were a little before my time but I've heard lots about you. Welcome to the forum.
Capsha/Haniel | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:55 pm | |
| Thank you sister. Yes i was one of the original, but i feel as if i remember your gentle spirit. | |
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Ishtahar Admin
Posts : 1158 Join date : 2010-02-05 Age : 60 Location : Wales
| Subject: Re: my story Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:04 pm | |
| Welcome to the forum.
I hope you'll settle in and find your place.
We all need to find out places | |
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Ashtart
Posts : 1373 Join date : 2010-02-06 Age : 41
| Subject: Re: my story Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:39 am | |
| Hi Lilith,
I've given welcome but welcome again.
In the old tales (most of which I take with a huge grain of salt, if I take them) Adam was human and so was Lilith. Until she left Eden and took Samuel as a lover and became a demon.
I don't know how you interpret old tales or what exactly your memories are. I guess I'm asking, if you would, could you elaborate on who or what you and Adam are? I think we know that Samuel is an angelic/Shadow. One of the best people I've known, and one that I miss dearly... he was very honest, and kind, and beautiful to look upon.
I've experienced your/Lilith's energy as being goddess-like in the past. But I wonder if you feel more angelic/Shadow, or even demonic? In any case, I've always felt her to be a sister and someone that I could respect and honor. | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:20 pm | |
| Thank you for the greeting! I was an angel first, but then i was either asked, commanded, or volunteered to to be reincarnated as the mate of Adam. I remember feeling jealous about something. I know that Luce was my soul mate. I know as an angel i had rainbow wingsof six made of light. But after i left adam, when i spoke God's holy name that only angels know, i was one again given wings of six but they were jet black and i grew horns and a tail. As far as go ddess, if the feeing that i have is correct and i was once the love interest of the birth keeper, then i suppose i was a goddess. But either way, i am a conceited spirit. The most beautiful and most ugly i remember someone saying. A lot.lol. | |
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Ashtart
Posts : 1373 Join date : 2010-02-06 Age : 41
| Subject: Re: my story Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:20 am | |
| I suppose you've always been a bit infamous Thanks for that | |
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Ishtahar Admin
Posts : 1158 Join date : 2010-02-05 Age : 60 Location : Wales
| Subject: Re: my story Thu Apr 19, 2012 2:37 pm | |
| I'm wondering, and I don't know whether this has been discussed before, how many god/desses were in fact shadow/nephylim. I have always felt that the presence of the Nephylim has been felt in the great heroes. | |
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Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:57 am | |
| - Ishtahar wrote:
- I'm wondering, and I don't know whether this has been discussed before, how many god/desses were in fact shadow/nephylim. I have always felt that the presence of the Nephylim has been felt in the great heroes.
Although I can't speak for anyone else, I feel that angels/shadow could have been seen as god/desses by certain cultures and given other names by the respective peoples. For example, I feel that I have been, or have some connection to, or simply was known by other names in different regions. Some of these names are Arinitti, Astraia, and Anput. I don't have many memories of this and my timeline is all screwed up, so who knows. | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:09 am | |
| Ari'el we r in the same state!!! | |
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Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:11 am | |
| Are we really?!!!! That's really exciting! I feel so alone here. No friends. No family... haha... Around what area are you in? I'm in the middle. | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:15 am | |
| Me too. In Nashville..wbu? I guess all the fallen weren't scattered | |
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Ari'el Moderator
Posts : 737 Join date : 2010-03-30 Age : 38 Location : Upstate New York, USA
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:17 am | |
| zomg. O.O Let me send you a PM as I don't want to discuss any more specific locations where everyone and their mother can see it. | |
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Ousa
Posts : 928 Join date : 2010-03-07 Age : 77 Location : Kansas
| Subject: Re: my story Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:14 am | |
| If I interpret my minds eye correctly I believe that all of us have been put exactly where we need to be whether we are aware of it or not! May not be the most comfortable of positions that we have put ourselves into but there is a predetermined pattern to all of this! So just hold tight and all will be revealed at the appropriate time. Just have faith in your higher self and things will go smoothly! lol Ouza | |
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Scratch
Posts : 670 Join date : 2010-02-20 Age : 43 Location : Hawai'i, Oceania
| Subject: Re: my story Thu May 03, 2012 4:23 am | |
| I feel something stirring, as I continue to read. You definitely have my attention.
It seems typical of me, here and now, to have no recollection at first of those who were most important to the Morning Star. Until someone or something happens to remind me, and I seek more within myself, piece by tiny piece. It's very frustrating.
For what it's worth, I forgive you. I have no idea what happened, and what appears to be a massive blank spot in my mind around even the concept of Lilith. I'm so tired of hurting though, of the guilt and confusion and pain still lingering from ancient history. Whatever happened, for whatever reason, I forgive you. | |
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_el
Posts : 61 Join date : 2012-04-14 Age : 33
| Subject: Re: my story Thu May 03, 2012 7:05 am | |
| I don't like this pain you have, but i have it too. Do you ever catch yourself saying or thinking" we" when you mean "I" ? I do it all the time. I think we were THAT close. | |
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Ishtahar Admin
Posts : 1158 Join date : 2010-02-05 Age : 60 Location : Wales
| Subject: Re: my story Thu May 03, 2012 7:56 am | |
| There's so much pain, even now.
I wonder if they care, if they even acknowledge their part in it.
I am at fault I know, and this should not be, but I'll never forgive. Not for then and not for now and not for all the times between.
Have faith that one day it will be as it's supposed to be. | |
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Scratch
Posts : 670 Join date : 2010-02-20 Age : 43 Location : Hawai'i, Oceania
| Subject: Re: my story Fri May 04, 2012 4:16 am | |
| At least half the time, when I say "I" I mean it in a collective sense, as in "us" or "them," or even "as if I were you right now." I'd attributed it to some fancy psychology about not speaking outside of personal experience, if I thought about it at all.
As tattooed and pierced as I am, I've never had much sense of self. I've always imprinted way too much on other peoples' perceptions and impressions, real or imagined. Despite the sense of total isolation that's clung on for as long as I can remember, despite having struck out on my own in ways that some people found shocking, I'm very bad at thinking in terms of me without some kind of other opinion involved.
As if begging could make it go away, I want to cry "No, no, no!! Please don't be in pain!" right now. Like a little child. | |
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