Some Memories... I Think

My first memory begins with sitting around a table with 6 or 7 other angelics and there was a heavy feeling of, not chaos, but something like it, and tension in the air. It wasn't a scheduled council meeting and there was a chunk of us missing. No one asked why. I'm guessing that most of us knew. Michael (que angry responces ) stood up and cleared his throat. He said that, no matter how difficult it would be, we had to come to a decision. He told us that there were going to be mass exiles and that the ones left sitting with him would form the new council. No new positions would open up. Anyway, back to the exiles. He read out the names of the angels who were going to be exiled and it was... hard not to show any emotion. I believe that this was us "deciding" that these angels should in fact be exiled for what they'd done. Not many of us actually agreed or wanted this to be the punishment and I'm sorry for not standing up and doing something about it.

The second memory is sitting on a rock that was overlooking a very deep, curved valley. The rock I was sitting on was like Pride Rock from The Lion King lol. I was crying and saying names and every so often I'd say "my Lord, forgive me". Jophiel, another angel on the council, and my best friend at the time, came to me and held me for a long time. She told me that everything would be alright and then she left. She probably had a job or something.

Despite this, I feel no hatred or anger towards Michael. I believe that he's a good angel who didn't make the best decisions at certain times, but he and the others gave me a second chance and I'm eternally greatful for that. I still contact Michael to this day and he hasn't changed at all. I know that a lot of people here aren't so friendly with him lol. Still, just something I *think* I remember.

Ahh Michael. The know it all. How is he now a days? And why are you on this terrible plane of existence ifyou did not fall?

Micha'el is the only one, so far at least, I find it completely impossible to forgive. I am the first to say that hatred is a destructive emotion, to be overcome at all costs, and that forgiveness is healing but after what I saw, after what he did there is no forgiveness in my heart for him.

_el wrote:

Ahh Michael. The know it all. How is he now a days? And why are you on this terrible plane of existence ifyou did not fall?

He's... himself. This plane is not terrible at all! I love life here. The story of why I'm here is a personal one and I don't think I'll ever share it. But I always wanted to come here and help. Some things just can't be said, you know?

So Micha'el is back to himself these days? Has he returned to the ranks and do they hold him under lock and key still? Or has the process of returning to himself removed the manic insanity that befell him for generations and they no longer see him as the threat they did?

Az

Azaz'el wrote:

So Micha'el is back to himself these days? Has he returned to the ranks and do they hold him under lock and key still? Or has the process of returning to himself removed the manic insanity that befell him for generations and they no longer see him as the threat they did?

Az

No threats, no insanity, no danger. He's himself.

Well, if he is himself then I wouldn't say there were no threats or danger, it just means that he has clarity of thought in his actions. I hope he has set foot upon the path of learning and understanding.

Az

Those are very strong and powerful memories, Capsha, and I thank you for sharing them. They shed light on what was a troubling time for us all - indirectly or directly - and on what was happening to bring events to a head.

It will come as a shock to most of us here, and I've never thought to mention it because it was not relevant until now... I have also, I believe, encountered Micha'el. And I second Capsha's estimate. I don't think he is mad today, and if he was, once, then it is hard to see in his face. As far as what I could tell from his words, he's never been imprisoned or insane. Someone who committed terrible crimes, for sure. Someone who's "lived" long enough to come full circle from the light to the depths of corruption to the light, possibly. My perception was that his corruption was his vice, not that he lost his head. But those are from his words, so I haven't been able to back it up until now.

Your first memory, Capsha... I remember that time, and being on that side of things... Haven't thought about it in a while and it still makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm not sure if I was at that particular meeting or not though.

i think i remember, vaguely being there for that first memory, Capsha, though i can't be certain. it's hard to tell what is actual memory and hat is my imagination throwing up a picture for me to enjoy while i read! lol

as for micha'el, and i know many of you dislike him for your own reasons, the last time i saw him he was quite heartbroken, in tears, even, from something i asked him to do. i was a confidant to many of them, keeping largely to myself in those days, heheh, but it also gave me a deep connection to a number of them... i'd probably say micha'el was one of those with a rather dirty job to do, not necessarily that he was a bad person, himself, in my book.

like i said, i understand your various stances, but that was my take on him; not a bad guy, just had the misfortune to have a very unpleasant job.

I myself have no ill feelings towards him now, however, at the time it was quite different! I have come to the conclusion that over the years we all have become unwilling victims of circumcision in one form or other!

Ouza

LOL, are you sure you mean "circumcision"?

Also, it's nice to see others that (may) have similar/the same memories and opinions.

Most certainly it's quite an apropos descriptive of what has happened to us all! The more you think about it, it is exactly the way it was and still is!!! lol

Ouza

It seems we all have different varying memories of Micha'el...... and this doesn't surprise me as he, like the rest of us, was a very powerful being with many sides to his nature. I think it's also important to remember that when our backs are against the wall, we have to do what is right, what is true for our Soul and our Soul's purpose. Even if the very Source itself directs you to do something and you "have no choice," your actions would be done with a heavy heart and with tears streaming down your face, begging for forgiveness and offering some form of explanation. This was not the case with Micha'el. He carried out his actions smiling, with glee, with lust and pleasure. So those of us who faced him, and suffered by his actions, will always have a different view of him. I know I will meet him again and I look forward to that day, for I can't wait to hear the explanation he will give me. And I look forward to being able to place my hand on my heart and explain to him just how I feel and how much we have all suffered because of it.

Az

Here here, Az daaarling!!

Is it really possible to explain such things? Or atone, even if you wholeheartedly want you?

There was a time when I knew, with cold clarity and absolute certainty, that if I ever saw him again I would kill him. Actually, physically kill him, for what he did to all of us. Prison time actually seemed worth it. Thank goodness that has passed. I could feel it sucking the life out of me. Now, I can honestly say I miss the bastard, and hope he has managed to find peace in himself. As horrible as either position is, I would far rather be victim than perpetrator.

I totally back up what As said and that's why I hate him so much. In some ways Gabri'el did worse to me but I can fine foregiveness in my heart for him, Micha'el was different. Like As said he didn't just do what he did h enjoyed it, revelled in it, sought pain like a drug. I will never forget the look in his eyes when he did the things he did... not just to be but to those I love, and if they have forgotten, I never will.

Strangely enough I have never wanted to kill him......... at least not in this life. I don't want some swift end for him because of his actions. Neither do I want him to suffer for ages as a martyr. I simply want to place one hand on my heart and the other on his heart, and let him feel what it has been like. I want him to face it and know it and taste it. When he does, it will remain with him until all of creation burns from the sky, as it remains with those of us who went through the Fall. I want him to always have a memory of what we endured. And to know what it feels like to watch the love of your life be tortured and killed slowly before your eyes. He deserves to feel that...... as do a select few others.

I'm more than happy for Micha'el to then walk away, to live, to be free to do whatever he does with his life these days. Retribution is called for, other than that he means very little to me these days.

Az

I've never lost my will to a quick justifiable anger and retribution for the right reasons. But since then I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I may say that I understand but there is still a lot I don't understand or even choose to accept. I'm tired of wars and the casualties of war. I can most certainly forgive but not forget the pain and sorrow that is and was brought on by this or any so called justified madness.

My love for wishglow has not failed me because I find myself here in this lifetime being brought back together although not physically but most certainly otherwise. What happens next I don't know! I only hope for true discernment leading to an outcome comfortable for all here in this forum and those of my team!

I've been awakened by other intelligences and for what that my bring me to most certainly, it is for the betterment of mankind. Az and Daniel were and are my friends and mentors throughout time. I can never repay the love and respect that they have gave me over time! As for wishglow, I will never ever forget and most certainly have come here to tell her and others that she and others are not alone in this lifetime!

I agree, Ouza... wars are tiring. They exhaust me.

Ashtart wrote:

I agree, Ouza... wars are tiring. They exhaust me.

I will third this.

what i remember of michael, he was always there when you needed him but never there when you wanted him there. He was always doing his own thing and going elsewhere who knows where he spent most of his time.